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    K so I've always been very paranoid about my weight. I used to be bullied badly about it since I was in infants, right up to around the start of year 11(end of '07) , and it's really affected me.

    I've dropped from 14st to just under 11st (I'm now size 12/5' 5"), and people have stopped calling me fat but I'm worse than ever for feeling fat. I can't stand to look in full lengh mirrors. I often end up crying about my weight and feeling guilty if I eat, and have made myself sick a few times recently

    Even though other girls who say they are bigger than me in size or weight, I never identify them being bigger than me, I always feel that if people look at me it's because of my weight, and because I'm fat, and I just desperately want to just look and feel normal, as it's scaring me feeling like this now, as it's what I think about most

    I don't know what I'm asking but I just need some advice or something really on how I can just move on, I thought losing weight would help but I still feel horrible..
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    Your problem isnt caused by your weight, if you weighed 7stone I bet you'd still feel the same, it was caused by the pathetic pricks that bullied you when you were younger, just know that you're not fat. Don't let some perceived social norm make you unhappy, you are who you are, don't feel guilty for eating, just try to feel comfortable in your own skin.
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    (Original post by xjodiewodiex)
    K so I've always been very paranoid about my weight. I used to be bullied badly about it since I was in infants, right up to around the start of year 11(end of '07) , and it's really affected me.

    I've dropped from 14st to just under 11st (I'm now size 12/5' 5"), and people have stopped calling me fat but I'm worse than ever for feeling fat. I can't stand to look in full lengh mirrors. I often end up crying about my weight and feeling guilty if I eat, and have made myself sick a few times recently

    Even though other girls who say they are bigger than me in size or weight, I never identify them being bigger than me, I always feel that if people look at me it's because of my weight, and because I'm fat, and I just desperately want to just look and feel normal, as it's scaring me feeling like this now, as it's what I think about most

    I don't know what I'm asking but I just need some advice or something really on how I can just move on, I thought losing weight would help but I still feel horrible..
    That could have been written by me. At 5 foot 7 I went from 13 and a half stone (and a size 16) to 10 and a half stone (size 10) very quickly; but still felt disgustingly fat. I was at my heaviest in May 2006 so a fair amount of time ago now, but it still hasn't changed how I feel. I too was bullied because of my weight, and used to think if anyone looked at me, or even if I walked into a room and people were laughing, that it must be me they were laughing at. That side of me has changed, I know they're probably not laughing at me, but I still look in the mirror and feel awful.

    I've since lost another stone (now 9 and a half stone) and know technically now I am slim, but I still see myself in the mirror as massive. I know I look better and I like how my clothes are tiny compared to what they used to be, but the lengths I've had to go to are mad when I think about it. Trust me, stop the sickness now while you can. When I started I used to think I was strong to make myself do it, and that it was my choice. It's only now I feel so uncomfortable keeping any food down at all, that I go all day without eating so I can eat all my calories in one go in the evening and then most of the time, get rid of them.
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    Seeing a lot of eating disorder-like tendencies here guys
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    None of these problems can be solved on an internet forum where a fair few of the replies will be "man the harpoons" etc. Try talking to a close friend/a counsellor etc?
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    (Original post by MJKAGray)
    Don't let some perceived social norm make you unhappy, you are who you are, don't feel guilty for eating, just try to feel comfortable in your own skin.
    I want that more than anything, but i can't, and I guess that's what I'm trying to ask really, how can I just be comfortable in my own skin. I just dont know how. Ever since I can remember, I've always been aware of being big, and so I don't know hot to be normal, or what is normal to feel like

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    When I started I used to think I was strong to make myself do it, and that it was my choice
    I don't feel like that, it makes me feel disgusting, but some days I get so down I do it because I get paranoid I'll put weight on and because of the guilt ofeating, I guess it stops me feeling guilty
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    (Original post by RevolutionäreZelle)
    sorry if this sounds insensitive... but what's your secret?
    This is. Nobody knows about it in my life. They know I was bullied, but they think I'm over it.

    What made you say that anyway?

    (Original post by MJKAGrey)
    None of these problems can be solved on an internet forum where a fair few of the replies will be "man the harpoons" etc. Try talking to a close friend/a counsellor etc?
    I can't because I feel ashamed. This was a seriously big step, because I know it's only internet, but I've never admitted any of these feelings before
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    Your weight has obviously been a major issue for you over the years, but its such a shame to hear you talking about your body in such a negative way.
    You've lost so much weight, and you should be starting to feel proud and confident about yourself.
    If this is really becoming a big issue for you then I think you could consider councelling. Obviously you have alot of negative thoughts about yourself that you need to get out of your system in order to get more self confident.

    I know you probably feel as though you want to lose more weight, but I really wouldn't advise it. I think you could end up with quite a negative relationship with food, and thats really not a good idea.
    I know a girl who used to be overweight, and she starved herself for a rediculously long period of time until she became anorexic. Its just not a good direction to go in.
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    (Original post by RevolutionäreZelle)
    sorry if this sounds insensitive... but what's your secret?
    there isn't a secret to weight loss, it's a case of less calories and more exercise.
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    That's exactly what I'm scared about, winding up with a disorder, but I just don't know how to control anything thoughtwise about my weight anymore, I don't know how to get counselling, and I wouldn't want any family to know so I couldn't get it anyway

    (Original post by britishseapower)
    (Original post by RevolutionäreZelle)
    sorry if this sounds insensitive... but what's your secret?
    there isn't a secret to weight loss, it's a case of less calories and more exercise.
    Oh, I thought you ment did I have a secret behind my problems..the weight loss started due to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, but now it's bc of hardly eating =/
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    (Original post by xjodiewodiex)
    how can I just be comfortable in my own skin. I just dont know how. Ever since I can remember, I've always been aware of being big, and so I don't know hot to be normal, or what is normal to feel like

    I don't feel like that, it makes me feel disgusting, but some days I get so down I do it because I get paranoid I'll put weight on and because of the guilt ofeating, I guess it stops me feeling guilty
    You've gotta find your own way i guess, chances are it wont be easy but you shouldnt feel like this because from what i've heard you're not fat and who is to decide what fat is anyway? Because of some insecure dildo you've now got clouded perceptions of what fat is, try to look at clothes and how much smaller they are now than before etc. it'l help because it's not something your mind can distort easilly.

    And don't get paranoid about thinking you've eaten too much, if you ever do feel like that remember that your body won't balloon after 1 off day, just take every day as it comes and try to stay positive.
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    (Original post by RevolutionäreZelle)
    sorry, I mean the secret to your weight loss...
    it's not easy and it's something to be proud of, I hope you come to look at yourself positively.
    It is easy, you just eat less calories than you need to maintain weight, there's no secret to it.
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    Under 11 stone? UNDER ELEVEN STONE? And you think you're fat?
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    (Original post by tommmmmmmmmm)
    Under 11 stone? UNDER ELEVEN STONE? And you think you're fat?
    It's in the mind
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    (Original post by tommmmmmmmmm)
    Under 11 stone? UNDER ELEVEN STONE? And you think you're fat?
    Can't help it, I wouldn't think someone else fat for being the same weight, but it's just me, I always feel really fat =/
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    (Original post by xjodiewodiex)
    That's exactly what I'm scared about, winding up with a disorder, but I just don't know how to control anything thoughtwise about my weight anymore, I don't know how to get counselling, and I wouldn't want any family to know so I couldn't get it anyway
    A big part of eating disorders isn't in the actual action; it's the thinking behind it. It's not something you 'wind up' with, and you need to find help I think to figure out how to control things thoughtwise about your weight.

    How old are you? There's no need for your family to find out, I don't think, if you did seek counselling?

    It's not something to be ashamed of - you recognise something in yourself that isn't quite right and you want to get better... That's the first step and that is something to be proud of.
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    hey Jodie, I remember your CFS thread. I dont know if this helps you at all but when i was at my worst i could barely eat and lost loads of weight (nearly four years ago) and now that I'm eating properly again I've never put it back on. As soon as I saw your thread I knew it would be that you've lost weight since you got ill, as I've been in exactly the same place. I wouldn't be surprised if you lost more without even trying. Anyway, maybe you can take a small positive from the hell that is CFS.

    However I dont think you have a particularly healthy attitude to your body, and I think you realise this, you need to control your thoughts about the way you look and how you eat. I never really realised how thin I'd got until I saw a picture of myself, maybe you need that sort of reality check - although i dont know if itll happen if you go looking for it!

    Feel free to pm me over any CFS stuff xx
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    I apologise if this sounds over-emotional it is meant to sound emotional to appeal to peoples senses. Op and other people please please if you start feeling the way you have described go and get help don't play with the possibility that you may or may not be starting to develop the signs of an eating disorder. This is not coming from some random stranger but someone who has been there - someone who has wanted to cry every single minute of the last 2 years because of the battle going on inside her head - a person who had a chance to get better and didn't take and as a result came so close to disaster but even then didn't realise it. Sorry I know you don't want a self pity story but what I wanted to say is please please don't go the same way as I have - Sorry everything you have described reminds me so much of me 'I feel fat' etc - it starts there but then it gets worse and if I can achieve one thing in the mess I have made of my life recently it is to make sure that at least one other person doesn't even come close to the experiences I have had.
    I apologise if I am overreacting but when you see certain signs you feel the need to react.
    I hope this makes sense - I am not posting anonymously because in real life you can't hide the past so why should you on an internet forum and also because I hope that by adding a name to a post it will seem more real and appeal more to peoples senses
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    Buy a fitness dvd. I've just bought one because i'm sick of feeling the same as you...now i'm going to do something about it.
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    (Original post by xjodiewodiex)
    K so I've always been very paranoid about my weight. I used to be bullied badly about it since I was in infants, right up to around the start of year 11(end of '07) , and it's really affected me.

    I've dropped from 14st to just under 11st (I'm now size 12/5' 5"), and people have stopped calling me fat but I'm worse than ever for feeling fat. I can't stand to look in full lengh mirrors. I often end up crying about my weight and feeling guilty if I eat, and have made myself sick a few times recently

    Even though other girls who say they are bigger than me in size or weight, I never identify them being bigger than me, I always feel that if people look at me it's because of my weight, and because I'm fat, and I just desperately want to just look and feel normal, as it's scaring me feeling like this now, as it's what I think about most

    I don't know what I'm asking but I just need some advice or something really on how I can just move on, I thought losing weight would help but I still feel horrible..
    That is my exact story too. And I'm quite unnerved by how many other people have said that

    I would strongly advise you to bite the bullet a bit and talk to someone professional (anyone .. doctor, school counsellor. It doesn't have to be someone especially for school health .. do you have anyone in some sort of advisory position at your school?). Someone that you can really talk to about your worries. Seriously, they'll understand! If not, a very close friend?

    I lost a lot of weight, but developed bulimia, after being left with the same feelings you describe, and have now been stuck in quite a ridiculous situation of periods of bingeing/starving for the past 1 and a half years. It's easy to fall into and feels impossible to pull out of.

    If you don't want to talk to someone then seriously, take note of the sheer number of people with this same story in this thread and tell yourself that you're not going to continue down this route! Surround yourself with good people, do things that make you feel happy, keep tabs on yourself and take each day positively .. but like I said, I think it's easier to fall into than you might expect and would urge you to talk to someone.
 
 
 
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