Boyfriend loves me but doesn't want a relationship

I can only second randomgirls suggetion as to whether your both/ hes off to uni soon. For many people thats the deciding factor to end a relationship even if they care about the other person.
There are so many horror stories about relationships not lasting through uni, so maybe he thought he would end it now in the hope that he'd be over you by the time he goes?

He needs to grow up and be honest. If he can't "help himself" then he shouldn't be telling you he wants out, and then getting your hopes up by telling you he still loves you and getting you back into bed. It sounds as if you'd jump through hoops to keep the both of you together, and that's not healthy.

You need to decide together whether you're in this for the long haul, or you need to break up cleanly and stop talking for a little while, or you'll never get over this.

That thought did come across my mind, we are both off to uni. We both applied to one of the same ones, I'm definitely going there and he's yet to decide. We'd always said we'd see how things are before we go and decide then whether we'd keep it going or not. If it is the reason, I wish he'd ignore the horror stories and still give it a try, because it wouldn't hurt to try and then if it didn't work out we'd end on mutual terms. But this is painful because he's ended it while we're still madly in love. I just wish uni would start now, I've got to get through exams with all this stress, he was actually stability in my life and made me motivated to do work. I know he's still my friend, and we're VERY close friends, I tell him everything, but it hurts to see him around school and not be able to hold his hand or kiss him... i'm just another person he says he doesnt want to lead me on by being close out of school... but i stupidly enjoy it... it means i get him partly instead of not at all... i know im a fool, but i cant stop myself... neither of us can, we're tempted too easily

If I'm being honest, it doesn't sound a lot like he loves you. That's not meant to be hurtful but... what he's doing is confusing things by trying not to upset you. You can't honestly love somebody and let them go because they don't want to be in a relationship, that's a complete contradiction. So, you have to lay it down... either he stops sleeping with you, stops telling you he loves you and stops hurting you further for the sake of his own needs or he sucks it up and grows a pair.

Unfortunately, if he's not being the person you thought in the end.. at least you can escape with your dignity by taking control.

No. Believe me, it sounds EXACTLY like he loves her. You don't stay with somebody for years and then act like this if you don't love them.

It's easy to sit there and say whoever does the breaking up should then automatically be feeling nothing for their ex because quite frankly they're responsible for the breaking up. But that just isn't true. Of course he still loves her and is always thinking whether he made the right decision.

So lay off the man a bit, he's understandably confused. There is no reason for this to be any easier on him than it is for the thread starter, just because he initiated the break-up.

As unfair as this sounds on the thread starter, or me, it's equally our responsibility not to keep it dragging out as it is our exes. If we really loved them we would respect their decision and try our best to do whatever it takes to keep them happy.

So me and my boyfriend have been together for 2-3 years, and the past 6 months have been really serious and we've been really close.

Last month he said to me he doesn't think he wants a relationship, one because of work load at A levels (which is understandable, but I don't see how I'm getting in the way as I give him room to balance it all, as I have A levels too), and two he doesnt know... he apparently just doesnt want a relationship at the moment. He said if he knew the reason why he'd tell me. He said it's not anything to do with how he feels for me, he says he loves me more than ever: "i love you to pieces" etc etc. The thing is every time we're alone together we just kiss and we slept together. He said the other day "we can't help ourselves". It's true, we can't... we're madly in love and love the emotional side and physical side to the relationship... yet he still doesnt want one.

I just don't get it. He reckons it's unlikely he'll want to get back together even when schools over... but he also said of course he's gonna say that now while he's in the mindset he's in. He said that the fact he loves me makes it more difficult.

I'm not coping very well, I cry all the time and have been having dreams of him for weeks now. My mums not well at the moment, schools stressful and this is just adding stress to my life. I've been thinking suicidal thoughts which I've never done before.

All my friends have just said "in time it will get better"... but we've had breaks before, and i've never got over him, not one bit. I'm madly and deeply in love with him, it's as if he's a part of me that I can never get rid of. He's absolutely amazing and I know that I'll love him forever... this is why this is so hard.

I don't know what I'm asking here, I just needed to get it out. I just wish he'd go with his heart and not his head. He actually asked me that the other day, and of course I said heart.

I know I sound ridiculously stupid and should get over myself, but I've never loved anyone like this before, he's changed my life and we have something really special.

I just can't deal with life anymore

I suggest you do a forum search in this forum for a recent thread called "one step forwards, two steps back" - because that was made by me (yes I have given away my anon thread, zomg) and it described EXACTLY this situation.

Now I don't want to patronise you at all, but I am very slightly older, I've had a gap year and also a first year at uni since my a-levels. In the grand scheme of life that isn't much however with first relationships and such it can make a massive difference.

This extra couple of years I think has given me one major difference to you about this, and I can't stress enough just how similar our situations are! You will not love him forever, and he is not the only one for you