bit stuck - break up Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#1
I'm in the process of getting over the break up of a very looong relationship.
All the 'keep busy' advice helps - and I am very active, but in my quiet moments, or any time alone really - I cant help thinking about my ex, what they might be doing and who with....It fills me with a great sense of loss, a horrible gnawing feeling that I cant seem to shake.
Consequently I fill up my time alone with useless things like watching shows online for hours...but it's always there and I can't escape it.
I'm told time will do it...but it has already been quite a while...I really don't see how I will ever be fully over my ex, I know myself and I just can't ever see it happening - I can't find any1 else like them, and even going out with some1 else wouldn't do it
does that mean I have to carry this around for the rest of my life? I'm not saying i dont i won't be happy again - just that there will always be a bit of a ghost in my life, reminding me of what's gone
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dh00001
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#2
Report 10 years ago
#2
its goes in the end hang on in there. it sounds like yourev on the right track
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Anonymous #2
#3
Report 10 years ago
#3
when they same time, they mean a loooooong time. It took me about a year and a half to properly get over my ex. to get to the point where I could be happy for him.

I have to say I think my current boyfriend had a lot to do with me getting over my ex. It really surprised me to find someone who was not only as good as my ex but far better.
I with my current bf for quite a long time before I was over the ex though. when you spend a long time in a relationship with someone and feel strongly for them they will always have a place in your heart, even now my ex means a lot to me. i've just changed my outlook on what happened. Now they're just good memories and that part of my life has led me to where i am now - very happy and engaged.
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IzzTheGreat
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#4
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I completely agree with the above poster - there's nothing like meeting someone new to realise what was wrong with the old boyfriend. There's absolutely nothing wrong with missing him like crazy and feeling awful; don't ever let anyone tell you to 'deal with it'. I'm in exactly the same position as you - my ex completely shattered me when he broke up with me and I miss him so much, but it gets better with time (I know that sounds really cliched!) Keeping busy is good, but at some stage you'll need to sit down and relax and it will probably hit you again.

If you ever want to chat or vent or anything, feel free to pm me. I hope you feel better soon
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tis_me_lord
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#5
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#5
I'm going to be incredibly lazy and quote myself from sometime ages ago regarding a similar situation:

(Original post by myself)
I preferred to stay in and watch lots of comedies. Family guy and peepshow both cheered me up a bit! But this happened in June and it didn't just go away for ages. Even months later I'd begin to feel terribe about it, but the feeling bad happened less and less often. The only thing which made me completly over it though was finding somebody else. But that's only an option after a good half a year or so gap, or at least that was the case for me.

In the more immediate term, I know from experience, you're really quite helpless. You can take our advise but it's only little short term bursts of happiness you'll get. There will be a lot of hard times for you as well but that's all normal, and eventually, however long it takes, it honestly will get easier.
I know thats a bit rigid and doesnt quite fit it perfectly but you get the jist. So many thousands of people have been where you are before, and so many of them say "I will NEVER get over this" and yet they all do. All it takes is time, lots of it. As many of us have said ultimately the best thing is someone else.

But that is not to say while you're alone you're destined to be unhappy and you must search for somebody new now! All you can do for now is hang in there, realise nobody is "the one" so you don't need to give up hope, there are many people who will be equally compatable with you - and in all likelyhood many who are MORE compatable than you've experienced already.

Above all else try to be content with yourself - everyone managed it for the first years of their life, is everyone miserable as a child? No, humans are perfectly capable of being happy on their own. You don't NEED somebody else, not straight away.
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Anonymous #1
#6
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)

I have to say I think my current boyfriend had a lot to do with me getting over my ex. It really surprised me to find someone who was not only as good as my ex but far better.
I with my current bf for quite a long time before I was over the ex though. when you spend a long time in a relationship with someone and feel strongly for them they will always have a place in your heart, even now my ex means a lot to me. i've just changed my outlook on what happened. Now they're just good memories and that part of my life has led me to where i am now - very happy and engaged.
The problem is - whoever I meet, I cant seem to give it a fair go because - they just arent good enough - again sounds very cliched....my ex was by no means perfect but the qualitied which she had and which i really admire, i just can't find them all in one person - she is seriously intelligent, into literature and art (something i know nothing about but admire), funny, and so beautiful and cute. all i can find are either hot girls who turn out to be ****s or nice intelligent people who are v. unattractive!
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Profesh
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#7
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm in the process of getting over the break up of a very looong relationship.
All the 'keep busy' advice helps - and I am very active, but in my quiet moments, or any time alone really - I cant help thinking about my ex, what they might be doing and who with....It fills me with a great sense of loss, a horrible gnawing feeling that I cant seem to shake.
Consequently I fill up my time alone with useless things like watching shows online for hours...but it's always there and I can't escape it.
I'm told time will do it...but it has already been quite a while...I really don't see how I will ever be fully over my ex, I know myself and I just can't ever see it happening - I can't find any1 else like them, and even going out with some1 else wouldn't do it
does that mean I have to carry this around for the rest of my life? I'm not saying i dont i won't be happy again - just that there will always be a bit of a ghost in my life, reminding me of what's gone
Ghosts fade.
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SilverWings
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#8
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(Original post by Profesh)
Ghosts fade.
They never dissapear though.

OP: It's hard, just stick it out.
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