Boyfriend's Housemate Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#1
Anon cause people who know the people involved used this site, and I'd rather word not get out!

Basically, boyfriend and I have been together best part of a year, we're best mates and are pretty much inseparable! Very much in love, but just creeping out of the honeymoon stage and into the comfy stage, which I wouldn't complain about because it's lovely

I've sort of half moved into his house because of problems at home (not really relevant here) so I spend 99% of my time at his. I get on amazing with his housemates - they wouldn't mind me having my own set of keys to the place, although I'd feel pretty weird about it tbh!

Anyway, one of his housemates has recently split up with his girlfriend of 2 and a half years, and is mostly devastated still. He's a great guy and he's a good mate, and I really want to help him through this tough time, as does my boyfriend, but it's getting to the stage now where he's the third person in the relationship -i.e. my boyfriend and I don't get any time together when he's not there. He's also kind of assuming we'll include him in any plans we make - last night he sent us a text just asking what we (as in all of us) were going to do tonight.

I don't mind hanging out with him, and cheering him up, because he's a good mate and I know he'd do the same if I felt like poo! But it's getting to the point where me and my boyfriend don't get any "couple" time together. Last night we were planning an "early night" (if you know what I mean :P ) and we ended up not going to bed til nearly 11 because he was sat in our room.

I know it'll probably come across as selfish, but I really would like some "us" time, and I don't really know how to ask him!

Any ideas?

PS> Sorry this is much longer than I thought it would be!!!
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Report 10 years ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I know it'll probably come across as selfish, but I really would like some "us" time, and I don't really know how to ask him!
Doesn't sound selfish at all!

Perhaps the guy's used to being around his ex-girlfriend a lot - just like you and your boyfriend sound like you are together a lot - and is finding time by himself very strange.

However, you will need to approach the subject with him and tell him that although you are always there for him, you and your boyfriend would like an evening together since you have not spent much time alone recently. I'm sure he'd understand.

Has the guy involved got anyone else he could perhaps meet up with for an evening or something? Although it's extremely nice of you to be so supportive (and you say you don't mind), it will be emotionally draining for both you and your boyfriend and could even put a strain on your own relationship. So although you may not want to come accross as harsh by asking if he can go and see other people, perhaps ask some of his other friends if they can take him to the pub / round their house for an evening or so, so that you can recharge your batteries emotionally and spend some time on your own relationship.
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