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Friends are horrible

This is just going to be a bit of a rant honestly so I apologise in advance.

My friends don't frigging care about me. They're all I have and when they remember I exist it's amazing. My 'best friend' can't make the time of day for me and I'm going through a lot at the moment. I suffered a miscarriage recently due to an accident and obviously I'm incredibly upset and we were supposed to go to town for a coffee and some shopping to cheer me up. The day before she cancelled saying that she couldn't go because she had a singing lesson and she had to clean her house and she couldn't hang out with anyone. So I went by myself. When I got back I messaged her asking how her lesson went- she didn't go and she wasn't even at home. She was with a different friend. I'd be completely fine with this if she didn't just lie to me and leave it until the last minute to cancel on me. I messaged our group chat to see if anyone wanted to hang out today and get a coffee and just have a chat and it was straight up ignored. I'm at a loss for what to do. In person, they're all fine and they could talk to me for hours, but as soon as I leave it's like I don't exist to them and it's really getting me down because I feel like I just don't matter to anyone.

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.This is just going to be a bit of a rant honestly so I apologise in advance. - No need to apologise. It's okay to post, type and talk to someone sometimes.

My friends don't frigging care about me. They're all I have and when they remember I exist it's amazing.- We all get stuck in our lives, maybe they just need some time to get themselves together and they'll come to you again.

My 'best friend' can't make the time of day for me and I'm going through a lot at the moment.- We all get stuck in our lives, that's kinda human nature. Sorry to hear that though hopefully she'll find sometime for you too.

I suffered a miscarriage recently due to an accident and obviously I'm incredibly upset and we were supposed to go to town for a coffee and some shopping to cheer me up. - Sorry to hear that, and sorry for your loss.

The day before she cancelled saying that she couldn't go because she had a singing lesson and she had to clean her house and she couldn't hang out with anyone. So I went by myself. When I got back I messaged her asking how her lesson went- she didn't go and she wasn't even at home.- I don't know her personally, but I don't think she's intending to be mean. Sometimes things don't work out the way we want them to and that's when we realise we are with the wrong people

She was with a different friend.- Sorry to hear that. Try bringing it up to her.
I'd be completely fine with this if she didn't just lie to me and leave it until the last minute to cancel on me. I messaged our group chat to see if anyone wanted to hang out today and get a coffee and just have a chat and it was straight up ignored. I'm at a loss for what to do. In person, they're all fine and they could talk to me for hours, but as soon as I leave it's like I don't exist to them and it's really getting me down because I feel like I just don't matter to anyone.- You do matter to alot of people but unfortuantely the ones you want to see care don't seem to show it.
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Original post by Pearlfection1
.This is just going to be a bit of a rant honestly so I apologise in advance. - No need to apologise. It's okay to post, type and talk to someone sometimes.

My friends don't frigging care about me. They're all I have and when they remember I exist it's amazing.- We all get stuck in our lives, maybe they just need some time to get themselves together and they'll come to you again.

My 'best friend' can't make the time of day for me and I'm going through a lot at the moment.- We all get stuck in our lives, that's kinda human nature. Sorry to hear that though hopefully she'll find sometime for you too.

I suffered a miscarriage recently due to an accident and obviously I'm incredibly upset and we were supposed to go to town for a coffee and some shopping to cheer me up. - Sorry to hear that, and sorry for your loss.

The day before she cancelled saying that she couldn't go because she had a singing lesson and she had to clean her house and she couldn't hang out with anyone. So I went by myself. When I got back I messaged her asking how her lesson went- she didn't go and she wasn't even at home.- I don't know her personally, but I don't think she's intending to be mean. Sometimes things don't work out the way we want them to and that's when we realise we are with the wrong people

She was with a different friend.- Sorry to hear that. Try bringing it up to her.
I'd be completely fine with this if she didn't just lie to me and leave it until the last minute to cancel on me. I messaged our group chat to see if anyone wanted to hang out today and get a coffee and just have a chat and it was straight up ignored. I'm at a loss for what to do. In person, they're all fine and they could talk to me for hours, but as soon as I leave it's like I don't exist to them and it's really getting me down because I feel like I just don't matter to anyone.- You do matter to alot of people but unfortuantely the ones you want to see care don't seem to show it.


In regards to the we all get stuck in our lives, this friend has consistently made excuses not to see me since march.
Original post by Anonymous
In regards to the we all get stuck in our lives, this friend has consistently made excuses not to see me since march.


My best friend, we couldn't live without each other- so much so I told her fiancee that if he makes her cry, i'll sort him out- we haven't met since 2015. We occassionally like twice a year make a plan, flop the plan and complain the next time we make a plan.
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Original post by Pearlfection1
My best friend, we couldn't live without each other- so much so I told her fiancee that if he makes her cry, i'll sort him out- we haven't met since 2015. We occassionally like twice a year make a plan, flop the plan and complain the next time we make a plan.


She doesn't contact me though- like at all. And I don't have anyone else
Try finding someone else who is able to give you the time that you need.
Awwww. People come and go so maybe you should speak to her directly about why she's doing thus. Sometimes we do tend to misinterpret things.
Original post by Anonymous
This is just going to be a bit of a rant honestly so I apologise in advance.

My friends don't frigging care about me. They're all I have and when they remember I exist it's amazing. My 'best friend' can't make the time of day for me and I'm going through a lot at the moment. I suffered a miscarriage recently due to an accident and obviously I'm incredibly upset and we were supposed to go to town for a coffee and some shopping to cheer me up. The day before she cancelled saying that she couldn't go because she had a singing lesson and she had to clean her house and she couldn't hang out with anyone. So I went by myself. When I got back I messaged her asking how her lesson went- she didn't go and she wasn't even at home. She was with a different friend. I'd be completely fine with this if she didn't just lie to me and leave it until the last minute to cancel on me. I messaged our group chat to see if anyone wanted to hang out today and get a coffee and just have a chat and it was straight up ignored. I'm at a loss for what to do. In person, they're all fine and they could talk to me for hours, but as soon as I leave it's like I don't exist to them and it's really getting me down because I feel like I just don't matter to anyone.


They are not friends
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Original post by Rock Fan
They are not friends


They're all I have
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Original post by Pearlfection1
Awwww. People come and go so maybe you should speak to her directly about why she's doing thus. Sometimes we do tend to misinterpret things.


I've confronted her about it multiple times. She just apologises and says she'll try better which lasts for like a day. Come December/January time we were joined at the hip but now I hardly see her
Original post by Anonymous
They're all I have


I wouldn't call them friends with what they are doing
Original post by Anonymous
They're all I have


It’s better to be alone, than to be with people who clearly don’t value or care for you.

I can’t begin to explain how sorry I am for your loss.
Friends are always going to let you down tbh, you can never expect anyone to treat you like how you treat them. So family is first because you live life for yourself and family, keep some friends on the side to do this and that with, but realise where you stand with all your friends, you can't entrust your happiness in their hands.
Original post by makami11
Friends are always going to let you down tbh, you can never expect anyone to treat you like how you treat them. So family is first because you live life for yourself and family, keep some friends on the side to do this and that with, but realise where you stand with all your friends, you can't entrust your happiness in their hands.


Not always true, not everyone can rely on their family unfortunately. Some families are awful.
(edited 5 years ago)
Original post by makami11
Friends are always going to let you down tbh, you can never expect anyone to treat you like how you treat them. So family is first because you live life for yourself and family, keep some friends on the side to do this and that with, but realise where you stand with all your friends, you can't entrust your happiness in their hands.


My family are incredibly abusive and neglectful
In my third year I spent time in France as part of my course and one of my friends came to visit me a lot, I thought he was a genuine friend. He would get cheap flights from ryanair and we would hang out in Paris for the weekend and have good times. But when I got back I basically never heard from him again. He just ignored my phone calls and texts. At the time I was in my fourth year but he had finished uni when I was in France and was living in London. We eventually met up in a pub in London with some others, the alcohol was flowing and I asked him we he had crashed off me when I was in France and just ignored my texts, and he was abusive to me, and for good measure even made insulting remarks about my social background and values. I basically realized he had only visited me because he had enjoyed spending time in Paris and I was a good excuse to go there and a free place to stay. Unfortunately a lot of people just make friends because of what you offer them and if you can't offer them fun times or access to exciting people, especially people they find attractive or who could maybe get them an interesting job, they aren't interested.
Friendship is a two-way street. If people aren't returning the effort you put in for them, cut them off immediately. Delete their contacts, social media etc and let them come to you. It may be difficult, but it's a simple and effective way for you to ensure you only keep people around you who are going to give you the respect you deserve. I agree with what was said above - it's better to be lonely and headstrong than have loads of **** friends who do nothing for you. Sometimes you do have to get used to spending a lot of time in your own company, but that gives you time to focus on yourself. Eat well, sleep, study, go to the gym and enjoy yourself.

I went through a period of about 18 months where I literally sat by myself doing nothing after cutting off dozens of former friends and colleagues who weren't there when I needed their support. I had no friends, no direction/career, no girlfriend and no-one to talk to. It was the worst time of my life but I accept that it happened because it taught me what people can be like. And now that I've moved on, I can easily recognise the people who are supportive, constructive and will make good friends. I've made much better friends since then. Those are the only people I keep around me and make effort for. Some of them are close by, others live abroad but they're all people I can count on. As a result of my experiences I'm also not afraid to call people out on BS, especially girls. I suggest you adopt the same mindset and start taking time to change your friend circle. Most people come and go but only close friends will return the efforts you make for them. Don't be afraid to hustle and keep working hard - it takes time but eventually you will find the right people.
Girl, they ain't your friends. Friends make time for each other and support each other through tough times. They didn't do either. As someone above said, it's much better to be alone than surrounding yourself with people who don't have time for you.
I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like for you. Please feel free to send me a PM if you want to talk.
Original post by Anonymous
My family are incredibly abusive and neglectful


With that being said, not everyone can depend on their family 100%. Depending on what stage you are in life you always have a chance to meet new people or even create a new family, but I say it's worth moving on from people that don't do benefit to your energy and play with your emotions like a rollercoaster, and sometimes choosing to put up with that is not even worth the good days your friends give you now and again.
Original post by Anonymous
In my third year I spent time in France as part of my course and one of my friends came to visit me a lot, I thought he was a genuine friend. He would get cheap flights from ryanair and we would hang out in Paris for the weekend and have good times. But when I got back I basically never heard from him again. He just ignored my phone calls and texts. At the time I was in my fourth year but he had finished uni when I was in France and was living in London. We eventually met up in a pub in London with some others, the alcohol was flowing and I asked him we he had crashed off me when I was in France and just ignored my texts, and he was abusive to me, and for good measure even made insulting remarks about my social background and values. I basically realized he had only visited me because he had enjoyed spending time in Paris and I was a good excuse to go there and a free place to stay. Unfortunately a lot of people just make friends because of what you offer them and if you can't offer them fun times or access to exciting people, especially people they find attractive or who could maybe get them an interesting job, they aren't interested.


I'm sorry that happened

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