Housemate Trouble Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#1
(Anon because people I know use this site...)

Please help - my housemate is driving me insane! We live in a 3-person house but most of the time it's just the two of us because our other housemate practically lives at her boyfriend's. We're both girls and I'd say I'm definitely the more laid back.

My housemate talks to her mum on the phone every single day, sometimes three or four times. Not only that but I can often hear her talking about me when I've done something 'wrong'. By 'wrong' I mean using the washing machine when she wanted to (how am I supposed to know?), leaving my washing up to do the next day because I'm tired or have to go out, watching films or TV programmes at around 10:30-11:30 at night (yes, she goes to bed that early), turning the heating up in the day when I'm freezing, .

She doesn't complain about any of things to my face, she just complains loudly to her mum on the phone with her door closed. What the hell? I have never come across anyone who does this or who gets worked up about some of the things she gets worked up about. It's like she feels she has to be in control of the house and if the slightest thing falls out of line because of me she reacts (but not to me - to her mum).

Sorry if this whole post sounds petty. I've been trying to ignore it and just get on with things but I'm starting to feel like I'm under scrutiny the whole time! I honestly don't think I've done anything wrong. What should I do? (I know you'll say 'talk to her'... maybe I should but I'm pretty sure it would cause awkwardness and we still have a whole term left of this year...)
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The_Goose
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#2
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ring your mum and complain loudly about her behaviour. If she cant say things to your face why shoudl you. Yea it's petty but i think that this is one the rare times that sinking to there level is the best option
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Slash_GNR
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#3
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No don't talk to her, make a point of ringing your mum and explaining very loudly all the things she does that piss you off.

Edit: Sniped by Goosey!!!
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Xinx
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It doesn't really sound like you can cause more awkwardness than you have now, with you knowing about her *****ing and she probably doing it loudly on purpose. So I would definitely say you should talk to her! I've had loads of housemates, and the best thing is to talk to them - atleast that gets everything out in the open, and will make you feel better - and hopefully it will help on your issues aswell.
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punktopia
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#5
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Tell her to drop out of uni, she's clearly not prepared for it.
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The_Goose
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(Original post by punktopia)
Tell her to drop out of uni, she's clearly not prepared for it.
your comments are always hilarious. I <3 punktopia. But rest assured your "fan club" will be here any minute to turn this thread intoanothe personal attack on you.
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mariad
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Your housemate is obviously saying these things loudly to her mum in the hope that you overhear, probably because she thinks it's easier than confronting you. To resolve the situation, you're going to have to talk to her.

Little things like leaving the washing up in the bowl and watching the TV loudly at night can add up and cause a lot of stress, particularly if she's not close to the person thats's doing it. If you become closer, then she might let you 'get away with' these things now and again because she'll realize that you also have good qualities.
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jumpinglunch
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#8
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I ring my mum every day........*shock horror*
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Quinion
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#9
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(Original post by mariad)
Little things like leaving the washing up in the bowl and watching the TV loudly at night can add up and cause a lot of stress, particularly if she's not close to the person thats's doing it. If you become closer, then she might let you 'get away with' these things now and again because she'll realize that you also have good qualities.
I agree with this, in halls last year it certainly did have a semi-conscious effect on me based on how well I knew the person or persons even though I'm very laid back when it comes to noise at odd times. It doesn't help that the 3rd girl is always away, as that just puts the other two of you in a more personal position that you don't necessarily want. Is the third girl the "link" between you?
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J9127
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#10
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(Original post by Anonymous)
(Anon because people I know use this site...)

Please help - my housemate is driving me insane! We live in a 3-person house but most of the time it's just the two of us because our other housemate practically lives at her boyfriend's. We're both girls and I'd say I'm definitely the more laid back.

My housemate talks to her mum on the phone every single day, sometimes three or four times. Not only that but I can often hear her talking about me when I've done something 'wrong'. By 'wrong' I mean using the washing machine when she wanted to (how am I supposed to know?), leaving my washing up to do the next day because I'm tired or have to go out, watching films or TV programmes at around 10:30-11:30 at night (yes, she goes to bed that early), turning the heating up in the day when I'm freezing, .

She doesn't complain about any of things to my face, she just complains loudly to her mum on the phone with her door closed. What the hell? I have never come across anyone who does this or who gets worked up about some of the things she gets worked up about. It's like she feels she has to be in control of the house and if the slightest thing falls out of line because of me she reacts (but not to me - to her mum).

Sorry if this whole post sounds petty. I've been trying to ignore it and just get on with things but I'm starting to feel like I'm under scrutiny the whole time! I honestly don't think I've done anything wrong. What should I do? (I know you'll say 'talk to her'... maybe I should but I'm pretty sure it would cause awkwardness and we still have a whole term left of this year...)
no it doesnt sound petty, i would be pretty annoyed too. Have a chat with her, tell her that you have over heard her, and discuss your problems before it all builds up, and u end up having a shouting match.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by mariad)
Your housemate is obviously saying these things loudly to her mum in the hope that you overhear, probably because she thinks it's easier than confronting you. To resolve the situation, you're going to have to talk to her.

Little things like leaving the washing up in the bowl and watching the TV loudly at night can add up and cause a lot of stress, particularly if she's not close to the person thats's doing it. If you become closer, then she might let you 'get away with' these things now and again because she'll realize that you also have good qualities.
I understand what you're saying and the 'it's easier than confronting you' thing does make sense - she once left me an angry note on the kitchen worktop because my boyfriend had accidentally used some of her cheese (the horror! - couldn't she have used some of mine to make up the difference?!). I just don't think I should have to tiptoe around and conform to the way she likes things. I'm a relaxed person and things like leaving the washing up or not being able to get in the shower exactly when I want to just don't bother me. I'm perfectly nice to her and we are reasonably good friends, I just find it very hard to be normal and cheerful around her when I know she's talking about me behind my back.
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Anonymous #2
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Tbh I ring my Mum everyday to display my anger towards my housemates - most of them are so childish in their mannerisms I feel I need too.

However unlike you I do pull my housemates aside and tell them what's bothering me. For example: They always put the heating on during the day - my solution is make a cup of tea and wear a couple of jumpers. It's not fair people in the house paying for heating when there are perfectly other ways of keeping warm. The fact they leave their washing up for days annoys me too - it takes 30 seconds to wash your plate. If they actually washed it the next day like you do it would be fine - my housemates leave it for 2 weeks before washing it up.

And I go to bed at that time too, I'm usually so tired from Uni and working. My housemates always watch films really loudly but I just always plug my ear plugs in. Problem solved.

And tbh it would annoy me if my housemates boyfriend had used some of my food without asking. Even if it was something small it would be the principle of the matter - I'd never dream of using anyone's food without asking. I text my housemates if I want to borrow some of their milk and they do the same - we don't mind but we all feel it's nice to ask.

So without sounding like a ***** I can slightly see where she's coming from - maybe I'm uptight. However she shouldn't ***** about you on the phone to her Mum - that's pathetic and immature. She should at least have the guts to come and speak to her. Can't you speak to her yourself?

Tell her you couldn't help over-hearing her conversation and was just a little bit hurt by it? Hopefully you'll work it out

Anon because my housemates use this site.
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Rubix
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#13
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(Original post by The_Goose)
ring your mum and complain loudly about her behaviour. If she cant say things to your face why shoudl you. Yea it's petty but i think that this is one the rare times that sinking to there level is the best option
dont Actually phone your mum, she'd think your weird.

Just put your phone by your ear and start ranting.
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L i b
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#14
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As my mother used to say "eavesdroppers never hear good of themselves."
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The_Goose
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#15
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itsnot like she crept up on her or tapped the phone or anything. It was hardly eaves dropping
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
However unlike you I do pull my housemates aside and tell them what's bothering me. For example: They always put the heating on during the day - my solution is make a cup of tea and wear a couple of jumpers. It's not fair people in the house paying for heating when there are perfectly other ways of keeping warm. The fact they leave their washing up for days annoys me too - it takes 30 seconds to wash your plate. If they actually washed it the next day like you do it would be fine - my housemates leave it for 2 weeks before washing it up.
The heating thing isn't me putting it on, as such, it already comes on at certain times of the day (early morning and evening). I just turn it up sometimes because my housemate likes to keep it at the absolute minimum temperature. She will even come downstairs every now and then to check the dial and turn it down if i've turned it up a little. :rolleyes: If the heating is on the radiators should be hot, not lukewarm.

(Original post by Anonymous)
And I go to bed at that time too, I'm usually so tired from Uni and working. My housemates always watch films really loudly but I just always plug my ear plugs in. Problem solved.
I don't watch anything loudly anymore. I always have it on the minimum volume in case I get up in the morning and she's on the phone to her mum again.

(Original post by Anonymous)
And tbh it would annoy me if my housemates boyfriend had used some of my food without asking. Even if it was something small it would be the principle of the matter - I'd never dream of using anyone's food without asking. I text my housemates if I want to borrow some of their milk and they do the same - we don't mind but we all feel it's nice to ask.
It was a complete accident, though, which I patiently explained after finding the note. He didn't ask because he didn't know it was her cheese! I don't know why we can't just share food. It would make things a whole lot easier, but she decided at the beginning of the year that it would be 'easier' not to. She even buys her own washing powder...
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Angrybanana
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#17
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Your boyfriend shouldn't have eaten her food, even if it was an accident either he or you should've apologised for that and I can see why she'd be pissed off. Also she likes to go to bed early and you don't-so what? I think compromise is needed here. If you're next door to her perhaps turn your tv down a bit. If one of you is cold and the other's hot either put more layers on/ open a window.

Seeing as you're living together it's in your interest to try and get on, which with a bit of consideration for each other shouldn't be too hard to do. As someone else said, tell her you overheard her complaining about you, and say that if she has a problem with you she should tell you, or it won't be sorted.

EDIT: I use my own washing powder, and so does everyone else in my house. And some people don't want to share food and stuff as they may eat more or less than other people etc. You just have to respect that.
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~Ally~
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After reading this thread, i can't help imagining Anonymous 1 and Anonymous 2 furiously posting away in their rooms... their adjacent rooms. That would be soo cruelly fabulous.
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