(Anon because people I know use this site...)
Please help - my housemate is driving me insane! We live in a 3-person house but most of the time it's just the two of us because our other housemate practically lives at her boyfriend's. We're both girls and I'd say I'm definitely the more laid back.
My housemate talks to her mum on the phone every single day, sometimes three or four times. Not only that but I can often hear her talking about me when I've done something 'wrong'. By 'wrong' I mean using the washing machine when she wanted to (how am I supposed to know?), leaving my washing up to do the next day because I'm tired or have to go out, watching films or TV programmes at around 10:30-11:30 at night (yes, she goes to bed that early), turning the heating up in the day when I'm freezing, .
She doesn't complain about any of things to my face, she just complains loudly to her mum on the phone with her door closed. What the hell? I have never come across anyone who does this or who gets worked up about some of the things she gets worked up about. It's like she feels she has to be in control of the house and if the slightest thing falls out of line because of me she reacts (but not to me - to her mum).
Sorry if this whole post sounds petty. I've been trying to ignore it and just get on with things but I'm starting to feel like I'm under scrutiny the whole time! I honestly don't think I've done anything wrong. What should I do? (I know you'll say 'talk to her'... maybe I should but I'm pretty sure it would cause awkwardness and we still have a whole term left of this year...)
ring your mum and complain loudly about her behaviour. If she cant say things to your face why shoudl you. Yea it's petty but i think that this is one the rare times that sinking to there level is the best option
No don't talk to her, make a point of ringing your mum and explaining very loudly all the things she does that piss you off.
Edit: Sniped by Goosey!!!
It doesn't really sound like you can cause more awkwardness than you have now, with you knowing about her *****ing and she probably doing it loudly on purpose. So I would definitely say you should talk to her! I've had loads of housemates, and the best thing is to talk to them - atleast that gets everything out in the open, and will make you feel better - and hopefully it will help on your issues aswell.
Tell her to drop out of uni, she's clearly not prepared for it.
Your housemate is obviously saying these things loudly to her mum in the hope that you overhear, probably because she thinks it's easier than confronting you. To resolve the situation, you're going to have to talk to her.
Little things like leaving the washing up in the bowl and watching the TV loudly at night can add up and cause a lot of stress, particularly if she's not close to the person thats's doing it. If you become closer, then she might let you 'get away with' these things now and again because she'll realize that you also have good qualities.
I ring my mum every day........*shock horror*
As my mother used to say "eavesdroppers never hear good of themselves."
itsnot like she crept up on her or tapped the phone or anything. It was hardly eaves dropping
Your boyfriend shouldn't have eaten her food, even if it was an accident either he or you should've apologised for that and I can see why she'd be pissed off. Also she likes to go to bed early and you don't-so what? I think compromise is needed here. If you're next door to her perhaps turn your tv down a bit. If one of you is cold and the other's hot either put more layers on/ open a window.
Seeing as you're living together it's in your interest to try and get on, which with a bit of consideration for each other shouldn't be too hard to do. As someone else said, tell her you overheard her complaining about you, and say that if she has a problem with you she should tell you, or it won't be sorted.
EDIT: I use my own washing powder, and so does everyone else in my house. And some people don't want to share food and stuff as they may eat more or less than other people etc. You just have to respect that.
After reading this thread, i can't help imagining Anonymous 1 and Anonymous 2 furiously posting away in their rooms... their adjacent rooms. That would be soo cruelly fabulous.