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Can someone mark my answer to paper 1 question 2 please AQA English language

• One way the writer uses language here to descirbe rosabels bus journey home is with the long complex sentence at the start of the extract. The long complex sentence overwhelms the reader with a barrage of information. This could reflect the business of the street. The writer could have done this to show the reader that rosabel feels overwhelmed from the business of life. Alternatively it could show that rosabel sees herself as small compared to the wider world. This could make the reader symathise with rosabel. A further method the writer uses to describe rosabels journey is the use of the metaphor ‘fairy palaces’ this suggest that the ‘jewlers shops’ were beuatiful and grand in rosabels eyes. The word ‘fairy’ creates a magical and wonderous atmosphere in the readers mind and could perhaps show the wonder that rosabel is feeling. This could make the reader feel in awe of the beauty of the ‘jewellers shops’.

I'd say 6/8...

Is this your whole answer?

Reply 3

fffggghhh

Original post by thrifty_reviser

Is this your whole answer?

yes

Reply 4

fffggghhh

Original post by ExamJon54

I'd say 6/8...

really? im not sure i wrote enough

Reply 5

lolqwertyzxc

you have to write another like two paragraphs lol

Reply 6

thrifty_reviser

4/8 - if my teacher was marking it

Reply 7

fffggghhh

Original post by lolqwertyzxc

you have to write another like two paragraphs lol

this is 2 paragraphs its like 180 words

Reply 8

ExamJon54

I'm saying 6/8 if that's your level of writing.
You don't need to write 2 more paragraphs - don't stress.
You can write one in-depth paragraph and still gain 5 marks so more paragraphs just maximises your mark achieving availability.

6.9/8

- You need to quote the long complex sentence with ellipses (...) so you maybe wouldn't get the AO1 mark
- You repeated 'overwhelmed' twice so wouldn't get an extra mark
- Good analysis of techniques relating it to both the writer and reader but you sometimes put overemphasis on the reader.
- The word 'fairy' (my teacher says to never say word but instead say something like noun or adjectives so you consistently use terminology in your answer)
- If you just added more points/techniques you could get 7 or 8.
- Just don't spend too much time on Q2 as it's only 8 marks and you don't want to be deprived of time later on

Reply 11

Wardy.

I don't do AQA English as my school are with eduqas/wjec but from what I can see, this would get a decent mark. I would say however, to try and paragraph your work more to create a clearer view of the answer to the examiner. Additionally, rather than stopping between each point and the reason, try to use connectives to make the answer as a whole, flow more smoothly. I know this may seem irrelevant in terms of the content within the answer but trust me. The more you show off to the examiner, the more highly they will think of your work. :wink: