Sorry if this is long, but it is a bit complicated and needs explaining. Just over a year ago, I met this guy on a scout camp, and we really hit it off. We exchanged phone numbers and e-mail addresses etc, and have kept in touch ever since. He always flirted with me, and me back, but because we lived so far apart we never actually "got together." We still talk regularly, and every time we talk he always gives an indication that he wants us to be together, but.... it's really hard. I don't have exactly what you would call high self-esteem, and to be honest i don't know why he even likes me at all, not only in that way but as a friend too. I'll be seeing him again this summer on another scout camp, and i'm absolutely terrified about it. I like him so so much, and I really don't want to lose him, but i have this awful feeling i'm going to.
Over the past few months i've become very introverted, due to a combination of exams and low self esteem in general, and so now I feel like i'm very boring and dull as a person. When we first met we had loads in common, but now I feel like i would have nothing to talk about with him, and this kills me, because i don't know why it's happened, and we still like loads of the same things. I'm not exactly stunning either, and I have had issues with eating since i was about 12 (which he knows nothing about) and so am paranoid about my weight. Plus there's the factor that at this camp, there are going to be about 100 other gorgeous girls, who must be more attractive in both looks and personality than I am. Also, my cousin is going to be there, who is absolutely stunning and has such a brilliant and charismatic personality, and as she's a leader she will be in his eye a lot, as she will be having to make speeches etc.
I know that i still like him, but I wonder if it will ever be possible for the two of us to be in a proper relationship, or if he would ever actually even want that or just see me as his "booty call" ( can't think of another way to put it). I just feel so inadequate and that i'm not worth him in the slightest. I know this has rambled on a bit, and probably doesn't make much sense, but if anyone could give me some advice, calm me down or offer a fresh perspective on this situation???