Turn on thread page Beta

not sure what to call this.... having major guy troubles?? watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Sorry if this is long, but it is a bit complicated and needs explaining. Just over a year ago, I met this guy on a scout camp, and we really hit it off. We exchanged phone numbers and e-mail addresses etc, and have kept in touch ever since. He always flirted with me, and me back, but because we lived so far apart we never actually "got together." We still talk regularly, and every time we talk he always gives an indication that he wants us to be together, but.... it's really hard. I don't have exactly what you would call high self-esteem, and to be honest i don't know why he even likes me at all, not only in that way but as a friend too. I'll be seeing him again this summer on another scout camp, and i'm absolutely terrified about it. I like him so so much, and I really don't want to lose him, but i have this awful feeling i'm going to.

    Over the past few months i've become very introverted, due to a combination of exams and low self esteem in general, and so now I feel like i'm very boring and dull as a person. When we first met we had loads in common, but now I feel like i would have nothing to talk about with him, and this kills me, because i don't know why it's happened, and we still like loads of the same things. I'm not exactly stunning either, and I have had issues with eating since i was about 12 (which he knows nothing about) and so am paranoid about my weight. Plus there's the factor that at this camp, there are going to be about 100 other gorgeous girls, who must be more attractive in both looks and personality than I am. Also, my cousin is going to be there, who is absolutely stunning and has such a brilliant and charismatic personality, and as she's a leader she will be in his eye a lot, as she will be having to make speeches etc.

    I know that i still like him, but I wonder if it will ever be possible for the two of us to be in a proper relationship, or if he would ever actually even want that or just see me as his "booty call" ( can't think of another way to put it). I just feel so inadequate and that i'm not worth him in the slightest. I know this has rambled on a bit, and probably doesn't make much sense, but if anyone could give me some advice, calm me down or offer a fresh perspective on this situation???
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    ^ Helpful.

    OP, he's kept in contact with you for so long - doesn't that say something?? And if he really just wanted you to be his booty call he would have given up long ago

    Don't worry about the other girls. If they were that stunning, how come he isn't with one of them? Don't sell yourself short - I'm sure you're a lovely and interesting person. You just need some more confidence!
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Firstly, whilst your self-esteem may have been shot since you've seen him last, i'm sure your personality hasn't rapidly changed and he knows what you look like so I wouldn't worry too much about him changing how he views you I know that's easier said than done! In respect to other people, as uncomforting as it may sound, he would've been around lots of girls since he last saw you and given that's he's made a continuous effort to keep in contact with you, well surely that's a good thing and should ease your worries slightly in terms of being surrounded by girls at the camp? PLUS with the added bonus that he actually knows you!!! compared to the other girls that he will have to get to know!

    I always say, people forget how hard it is for someone to find someone they like, and for the peson to like them in return. Keep this in mind, and you'll realise that it's unlikely he'll swan off with the next Kate Moss and more likely he'll want to get to be around someone face to face who he's spent a large amount of time talking to hope that's slightly more helpful? Good luck!!!
    xxx
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    But i just feel so boring and worthless, and not fun to be around, that i know when it comes to the camp he will not be interested in me, and I really don't want this to happen, but it seems inevitable
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Sounds like you like him but your putting yourself down over self-esteem issues.

    He sounds like he likes you, and you like him, so you've got to decide what you want to do.

    Seems you've got two choices, firstly, you either keep on feeling sorry for youself (don'tknow how else to put it? maybe its not this?) and lose him. OR you can stop feeling sorry for yourself, look at the situation which looks like he likes you, and go and get him!

    Your looking at the side of 'Why does he like me?' Well, sounds like he does like you, so your question is irrelevant, so forget it and go for it if you want to!!!!!

    Don't let it pass you by if you like him cos you will regret it later on!
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    But now every time we talk over msn, the conversation is really dry and dull. I don't know if it's me, him, or both of us, but i feel he's losing interest, and (not to sound cliched, but) it's breaking my heart. If i lost him, even as a friend, i don't know what i would do. How can i get him to still like me, when i'm feeling so low in myself?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Ask him. Ask him if he still feels the same about your relationship, and say you're asking because it seems like he doesn't care anymore. This is perfect for two reasons!

    1) It gives him a chance to deny it outright and say that he does care blah blah blah and that he does still like you etc.
    2) If he is losing interest, this gives him the opportunity to tell you, without you having to say that you still like him and then for him to knock you back. Dya know what I mean?!

    And if number 2 is the case at least then you'll know the answer, there will no longer be any doubt.


    If you're really scared about losing him, and you think at this stage it's basically inevitable - what've you got to loose?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    omg theres so much stuff i should tell you about this situation, but i cant type it all out here! i can help you, do you have msn lol
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    First of all my GF is/was exactly the same as you with self esteem, weight issues etc and i love her ssososo much shes not just the most amazing girl but the most amazing person ive ever met. At first she was exactly the same as what you were saying even with eating issues and she couldnt get her head round how i could possibly like her and how i was too good for her and all the knonsence, but i did so much for her and spent so much time on her she just was forced to realise and she now knows. What i am saying is you need to let him show you how much he likes you and just beleive it becase from what youve said it sounds geniune to me. And trust me once you let him show you and if he does like you alot he will, then you will feel like the most amazing and happiest person on the planet becuase for one you will of overcome your selfesteem issue and 2 i think that you two have big potential and could be madly in love if you both make a effort, obviously i have no idea really but i have a feeling if you wana talk more message me because as you can see i know about what your going thru from self experience and also my GF....
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    and btw ppl/girls like you are normally the type to have the best qualities in my opinion, down to earth, geniune, honest and easy to get on with etc. trust me your a good person and the quicker the realise that the better!
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But now every time we talk over msn, the conversation is really dry and dull. I don't know if it's me, him, or both of us, but i feel he's losing interest, and (not to sound cliched, but) it's breaking my heart. If i lost him, even as a friend, i don't know what i would do. How can i get him to still like me, when i'm feeling so low in myself?
    Of course it does. Its MSN. Try asking to meet up with him.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: March 28, 2008
Poll
Were you ever put in isolation at school?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.