Exactly...
Oh man, I'm a bit more confused now... a confrontation occured by mere chance.
Today while I was casually passing in the hall (which is now usually locked by key in order to hide "him"), I saw "he" was cleaning some toys (LEGO Technik, Mindstorms, stuff like that...) and other gadgets that I was 100% sure were things I used as a kid.
Out of mere curiousity I asked my mother, "Those are my stuff right?"
My mother:"No. Someone else gave it to us since they wanted to throw them away, so we're washing them for your little brother..."
I:"Ehm... but I'm pretty sure those were mine, I remember every feature...?!"
My mother (with a stricter tone):"No, just go away! Don't start discussing, I'm already in a bad mood. These aren't your toys..."
I:"But that..."
[and I pointed out several things that proved that they were mine]
My mother:"Get out! Don't raise your voice to your mother. Remember who you are and remember who I am! Learn how to talk..."
Then I bursted...
I:"I know you're lying but you can't brainwash me. And you're not only good at lying to me, but to the whole world."
[while I was going out of the hall towards the corridor leading to my room]
My mother:"Get out, who are you to talk to me like that?"
I:"I don't know, but I know you're lying."
[while heading towards my room, now we were basically shouting at each other but out of sight]
My mother:"Wait and see what will happen! You know you're a useless person! You're already a great burden to me! You should leave this house immediately etc."
I (very calm voice):"Stop trying to brainwash me."
My mother (angrier):"If you don't stop it, I'll take a knife and take the life that I gave you!"
I (very calm and cold voice):"Come and try if you wish..."
She came towards me trying to hit me with an umbrella.
My mother:"Or I'll call the police and tell them to take you away. You are xx years old, you shouldn't even be in here! Wait and see. I know you're a psycho case. Don't try to show me how good you are with words. You belong to the nut-house!
You are lying to everyone with your chronic pain problems! No doctor could find out what you have! You're just a hypochondriac!
And how dare you say I lie to the world? Why did you start all of this just because of some toys?"
And there I went silent because I was fed up, and in any case, if she really called the police I think she would be able to convince them to take me away...
Now I really don't know what to do. I'm a bit confused and trying my best to stay cool.
Especially because I'm having plenty of projects and university exams in the coming weeks and I prefer staying emotionally neutral.
My mother was brought up by nuns (her parents died early). And every now and then, during holidays, she takes me to them and they always say what a good person she is, that she always followed the right path and is a religious person. My mother is still very much in touch with them and perhaps still believes to be very religious.
My mother's sister knows some of the things my father did since they often talk.
I'm thinking whether I should write an e-mail to both the head-nun and my aunt and tell them EVERYTHING (including about the man; since the head-nun always used to tell me how pious my mother is and how I should follow her), asking them what I should do and perhaps to talk a bit with my mother.
What do you think?