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Caught my mother... with a "distant relative" watch

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    (Original post by TheEntertainer)
    Unfortunately, she will have enough of evidence to prove that I am crazy. And she can distort reality to prove her point. I mean, I have a history of weird things in my own life which she could use.

    I just spoke a bit to my brother, and asked him if we should tell our father about the "distant relative". He backed off, ran away saying, "No, no, otherwise mum will cut me into pieces!"

    -_-'''

    I mean, how right do you think this is?

    I must tell at least someone. If not the nuns, at least our aunt. For someone external has to know what's going on in case anything serious happens.
    You're living in a poisonous situation. I would move out asap if you try all avenues and can't succeed.
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    Screw it.

    I was attempting to advocate a peaceful solution but looks like it'd be better to shoot her down.

    Child-Support
    Therapists/Psychologists

    Build up your own side of the story without manipulatng the truth. You're bound to wound up on the right side.

    In regards to weird things, is any of it criminal behaviour? If not, you have nothing to fear. Video tape evidence, all that.
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    I know your situation is hard BUT you need to grow some balls and confront your mum or you will regret it in the future and she will treat you even worse.
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    how old are you?
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    i tink u should tell your aunt, as she is family after all i dont tink u shud have to handle this situation alone
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    Im still in shock that your mum was having sex on the coach whilst your brother was in the room next door. I mean what the ****.
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by lets go turtles!)
    how old are you?
    I'm 21, my brother's almost 7.

    (Original post by Sanity Panda)
    n regards to weird things, is any of it criminal behaviour? If not, you have nothing to fear. Video tape evidence, all that.
    Not criminal. But I've been drawing quite some negative attention due to my health problems, which for majority opinion has been "hypochondria" (i.e. that I'm only imagining the illness and therefore wasting everyone's time...), which is also a mental disorder, although for some doctors there is something wrong but they don't know what. Meanwhile everyone just tells me to not think about it etc. but since I think about it I'm perceived even more as a hypochondriac.
    And one mental disorder could lead to another... etc.

    And in general it's weird that a 21 year old is still in his mother's home.
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    Seriously screw what others think. Most of societies opinions are stupid. 21 is not weird at all, in fact in the chinese culture that'd be almost the normal as we are so family orientated.

    In regards to hypochondria, I'm not sure but I know that the mind affects our health much more than people give it credit for. If western doctors don't help, try going to alternative medicine to see if there really is any problem or not.

    Like I said... capture evidence via recording devices. It might be looked down upon, but you are building your case of evidence against her aren't you?

    Last note: Didn't you say your brother was 15? Oh right, 15 years younger.
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    (Original post by TheEntertainer)
    I'm 21, my brother's almost 7.



    Not criminal. But I've been drawing quite some negative attention due to my health problems, which for majority opinion has been "hypochondria" (i.e. that I'm only imagining the illness and therefore wasting everyone's time...), which is also a mental disorder, although for some doctors there is something wrong but they don't know what. Meanwhile everyone just tells me to not think about it etc. but since I think about it I'm perceived even more as a hypochondriac.
    And one mental disorder could lead to another... etc.

    And in general it's weird that a 21 year old is still in his mother's home.
    Well, 21 isn't that old, to be living at home. It is usually around the time that people tend to leave in the UK. I was having family problems a few years back and had to leave home at a substantially younger age than 21, in order to keep my sanity. If I could do it then, you can do it now.

    This may well be a personal question, but would you consider yourself immature? I only ask because most people get to a maturity level where they are able to confront their parents in a rational but confident manner. You seem to still be afraid of yours. Also, you consulted your 7 year old brother as to whether you should tell your father about the situation- surely this is much too demanding for his maturity level?

    I think you need to make some sort of strategic decision to resolve this situation, and then stand by it. Just make sure you have a safe place to be if things get too heated at home for a while. The aftermath never lasts- but you have the power to limit its effect.
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    Yes, Sanity Panda, 15 years younger than me It's quite an age gap but I'm pretty sure he is my "legitimate" brother (has my same mother and father).

    ---

    Last night ended with my mother telling that "we never bought you this kind of LEGO", etc. etc.

    Today I woke up and pulled all my old things and found photos of me playing with exactly those LEGOs! I obviously showed them to her, but she didn't want to admit that she was wrong, "Even if they are yours, you should never answer back to your mother, etc." and started preaching me about how disrespectful I am -_-
    At least she seemed a bit more calm than yesterday...

    ---

    (Original post by Stealth-Mode)
    This may well be a personal question, but would you consider yourself immature? I only ask because most people get to a maturity level where they are able to confront their parents in a rational but confident manner. You seem to still be afraid of yours. Also, you consulted your 7 year old brother as to whether you should tell your father about the situation- surely this is much too demanding for his maturity level?
    I didn't want to consult my brother I just wanted to know whether I could rely on his testimony (apparently I can't) if I expose the situation to my father or the world; my mother would be able to tell the world that that "distant relative" is a creature of my own imagination who never existed - and also convince my brother to say so...

    With regards to my own maturity; I think that's another problem which might require a different thread :P. I don't know whether maturity can be judged individually, but I can say that, due to my family situation, my personal development has run on two different tracks. One at home and one outside home.
    All wonderful peak experiences of my life occured outside home and have developed the person who is now TheEntertainer; however none of these experiences or growth have been easily "integrated" into my "family persona" (perhaps the main reason was that at home I rarely discussed or debated with my parents, etc.).

    Among my friends and classmates I'm generally perceived as mature and sometimes also as a role model
    But whenever my mother saw/sees me speaking in public or doing community service, leadership things, etc. she would usually say that "To the outer world you act like a leader, pleasing everyone and being funny, but at home you're nothing but a little boy who must be fed and given teddy bears. Once you get out of the safe haven of this house and live without your family you will discover what a looser you really are. And nobody will care about you."

    And well, I often think about those words and wonder whether my experiences outside the family actually reflect who I really am, or, as my mother says, I'm only "acting"...

    So I think that, especially in my relationship towards my family, I am probably immature. My parents (both of them) surely think so.

    What do you mean by safe place to be?
    Like if they literally throw me out?

    I could ask my friends, though I'd be a bit embarrassed - and I don't know whether they would be very pleased about my health issues... However, I could ask, yes.
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    Your main priority is your safety and the safety of your brother. If you two can get to a safe place, such as a relative's or friend's house then you can plan your actions from there. I don't want to sound like a complete d*** but is this actually a rel story, because parts of it seem quite fantastical. Sorry if you feel offendd that I asked but I generally think of something like this only happening on TV, as in the death threat to a seven year old... That really worries me.
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    Ask her whats going on. You never know, there could be a reaaally applausable explanation for all this. If not... be honest with your brother and tell your mum straight.
 
 
 
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