The Student Room Group

What could zero reaction mean?

There is a guy I was into for a couple of years, and things happened between us a couple of times over the years. However, it was always a complicated situation.. he was always flirty and said he fancied me etc. but alwyas maintained he didn't have feelings and wasn't looking for a relationship.

However, he would always say that he'd had zero feelings for any girls in years, couldn't get over his ex, didn't want to be with anyone etc.

He's even told me "I should meet someone else" etc. and I wish I had sooner. At the same time, he will flirt with me online and stuff..

The annoying thing is that he's always acted jealous about other guys, even though he's told me I "should move on" etc. and that he doesn't want to be with me.

I have met someone recently who I like a lot, and it's mutual, and I am just really happy at the moment. I am still on friendly terms with the other guy.. the other day, he actually flirted with me online.

He hadn't any idea about this other guy, but I thought it was best to be clear and that we would just be "simple friends" now.

So I told him, and he read the message, and replied absolutely nothing to it. After a while, I sent one saying sorry I hope it's not weird i'm telling you that, and he went "oh don't worry I was just at work" but has still made absolutely zero reference to what I told him.

Maybe he doesn't really care, but it's really not like him to ignore a message (he's still ignoring me now), I just thought if it was me, I'd at least say " oh cool" "that's nice" or something along the lines.

If he "really wants me to move on" I thought he'd be happy for me? I just find that bizarre that he has completely ignored it and is now not talking to me much, which is out of character for him.

Any ideas as to why? Thanks
Original post by Anonymous
There is a guy I was into for a couple of years, and things happened between us a couple of times over the years. However, it was always a complicated situation.. he was always flirty and said he fancied me etc. but alwyas maintained he didn't have feelings and wasn't looking for a relationship.

However, he would always say that he'd had zero feelings for any girls in years, couldn't get over his ex, didn't want to be with anyone etc.

He's even told me "I should meet someone else" etc. and I wish I had sooner. At the same time, he will flirt with me online and stuff..

The annoying thing is that he's always acted jealous about other guys, even though he's told me I "should move on" etc. and that he doesn't want to be with me.

I have met someone recently who I like a lot, and it's mutual, and I am just really happy at the moment. I am still on friendly terms with the other guy.. the other day, he actually flirted with me online.

He hadn't any idea about this other guy, but I thought it was best to be clear and that we would just be "simple friends" now.

So I told him, and he read the message, and replied absolutely nothing to it. After a while, I sent one saying sorry I hope it's not weird i'm telling you that, and he went "oh don't worry I was just at work" but has still made absolutely zero reference to what I told him.

Maybe he doesn't really care, but it's really not like him to ignore a message (he's still ignoring me now), I just thought if it was me, I'd at least say " oh cool" "that's nice" or something along the lines.

If he "really wants me to move on" I thought he'd be happy for me? I just find that bizarre that he has completely ignored it and is now not talking to me much, which is out of character for him.

Any ideas as to why? Thanks



Working on the principle of Occam's Razor (that the simplest explanation is liable to be the most likely) I'd say you are just encountering genuine indifference.

If guy number 1 was genuinely concerned by this, or had any feelings for you (and he has told you upfront he does not) then you would have had some sort of response from him. The fact that he hasn't said anything shows he really just doesn't care. He hasn't responded to you, not because he is actively ignoring you (as you seem to think) but because this is just not on his radar. He is involved at work, involved in himself, and your stuff is not on his 'to do' list.

My best advice to you is just turn the page on him and move on with guy number 2, who does like you. Focus on the future, and the relationship which you are building with him. As soon as you start investing in this, you will realise how irrelevant guy number 1 is.
Reply 2
yeah, I can understand why you are saying that! It may be that, but this is literally the first time this has happened.. he is generally a very inquisitive person and if I tell him stuff he will always ask questions etc.

I've known him for a couple of years and he is supposed to be a close friend so I thought he would have been happy for me and told me so, rather than not giving a stuff.

This is the first time he has ever ignored me; we were getting on fine and he has no reason to just stop talking to me. Even if he's been busy before, he's always replied to me etc. and it literally takes a second to write "oh cool!" or something similar.. so I just find it odd.
Reply 3
Also sounds odd but he has a thing where he doesn't "read" a facebook message until he's actually going to reply to it, so he has never just left it as "seen".I don't know, all of my other friends would have said oh that's nice where's he from etc..

Quick Reply

Latest

Trending

Trending