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Social anxiety with first job?

Basically, in a couple of weeks I start my first part time job in a Chinese buffet. I have social anxiety (18 male) working where my dad works, he is the chef and I am the guy who serves drinks, refills the food at the buffet and cleaning tables and such. I am nervous thinking about how I will mess up my first day, such as if a customer asks me about the food and I have no clue what to say? It can be very busy as well? Any advice?

Reply 1

FailedTeacher

I was so nervous on my first day serving at a restaurant I dropped a wine glass on the table!

You’ll read that now and may be like OH MY GAWDDD I DONT WANT THAT TO HAPPEN

I kinda hope it dies, you’ll realise it isn’t the end of the world and you’ll move on to the next job. Ideally you’ll have someone to shadow and look after you and you do things one bit at a time.

Don’t be scared to say ‘it’s my first day’ and apologise but someone will be here to help shortly.

Be sure to shower, wear fresh clean and ironed clothes, brush your teeth etc make sure you have nothing to feel worried about :smile:

Remember to smile :biggrin:

make eye contact and don’t fold your arms! Hold your head up high (literally) and don’t let the anxiety keep your head down. Don’t be scared to ask for the easier jobs first and say what you’re nervous about doing.

Hope this all helps, message me if you need anything!

Kindest Regards,
FailedTeacher

Reply 2

Justthis1

Really does suck. Many people (including myself) go through it. People just assume you're "shy", but you're not, you just overthink things completely unnecessarily, when looking at it objectively. I used to be so bad when I was younger, I dreaded even using the phone to ring whoever I needed to ring to go about my daily life (pay bills, sort out insurance etc etc). Now I work in a busy retail environment and more or less enjoy it.

You need to look into mindfulness on the internet or perhaps see a counselor as you have a long life ahead of you. Or simply as I do, start "thinking about what you are thinking". What are you thinking now? Why? And then logically assess how what you're thinking is B.S.

People aren't judging you all the time. They're just people going about their business, as you will be. Only if you start overreacting to things, as you are, may you become noticeable by doing atypical actions.

If a customer comes up to you, they know NOTHING about you other than you work there. They don't know your life story, or wish to interrogate you and put you ont he spot, or embarass you. They simply wish to know something about the food. You either know the answer or don't, in which case you say to the customer I'm not certain about that as I'm new, let me find someone who can help. That will be an entirely normal response, and they won't give it a second thought.

You will have to concentrate on this often. I don't believe there is a cure, you just have to pratice a lot. I can't count the number of times I've come out of a job interview, social interaction, presentation etc. and thought "well that wasn't nearly as bad as I was worrying, what was I even on about..." until the next one comes along, then get all anxious again. You have to be as brave as possible and just jump right into situations. You can't cure it, but become better about putting yourself into the context.

Reply 3

DrawTheLine

Try not to over think it. If you get asked a question you don't know the answer to, simply say "I'm very sorry but I don't know. It's my first day here, but I'll go and find out for you and be back shortly." That's what I did when I first started my job. Even now after being there almost 2 years if I don't know I just say "I've never come across this before, sorry, but I'll go and ask my colleague and be back in a sec to let you know".

If it's busy just focus on one task at a time. Where I work it can be absolutely manic at certain times of the year, and I just don't even think about the other tasks until I've finished the first one. That will stop you getting overwhelmed.

Good luck!

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

I appreciate all the replies, it does really help me feel better. I just hope I don't work too slow and have people complain as I have no experience