My boyfriend hasnt said i love you for 3 years

so me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years and he hasnt told me he loved me. he is affectionate when i am with him and he is caring too. but i dont understand why he hasnt said it. last time i asked him about this and we had a huge fight that lasted for almost a week and we ended up not talking for about full week. i used to say i love u to him before and he used to respond with 'sweet' or 'awww' which i didnt want to hear. The reason he gave was he said he didnt believe in love and he has never loved anyone before. but he said it to his kids anyway. I have discovered that he used to say it to his ex too but when i asked him he denied it. He has said he wants to be with me forever and he doesnt want anyone else. he said also that he is not attracted to any other girl

Reply 1

depressedsoul123

You have to figure out whether the reluctance is a result of general commitment issues or because he doesn't feel that way to you. If it's the former, I'd advise you not to pressurize him, but if it's the latter, there's an issue. After all, ultimately, it all depends on how he feels for you. If you feel loved when you're around him and if he makes you feel like you're the one for him, then it's obvious hat he loves you, but that specific term irks him, and you must respect that.

Reply 2

habesha97

Original post by depressedsoul123

he only said he doesnt believe in love but he likes me alot.. I am overthinking about the fact he has said it to his ex but why not me. he also said he didnt or doesnt love anyone apart from his kids. I know for a fact he has said to his ex as its reliable source. maybe he just doesnt feel that way about me or maybe he loved her as she is the mother of his kids and she have been with him for long time.

Reply 3

depressedsoul123

Maybe he can't say it now because of his ex? Failed relationships often cause commitment issues within an individual. Ask him what he means when he says that he only loves his children. It's clear that your boyfriend will have troubles committing to you, so you need to decide whether that's a deal breaker for you or not. Imo, if he can establish that he does feel that way about you then don't put too much emphasis on those tree words, and don't look into the past- people change.

Reply 4

DEͥSTͣIͫNY

Original post by habesha97

Some people are just like that.
I myself, haven't said "I love you" to anyone in my life (not even to my own family), as I find it extremely uncomfortable. I didn't feel comfortable even writing it out just now

Reply 5

Dazeo

Maybe the fact you make such a big deal out of it and have gone as far as to 'find out' he said it to his ex...

Reply 6

stephuni

LOL . he said it to his ex from a relaiable source??? oh get a f**8 grip will you do you know how you sound? for it to be a source your talking about private stuff to do with him with other people, what a disrespectful mess, we have all been through sh** and whatever it is has effected him, he is being true to himself, how has he got comitment issues you say he treats you good and is caring he is showing you love many people sayit and cheat etc stop being so shallow we dont all show affection the same, he is being true to himself and you just want him to say something for the sake of it . god just leave the poor man this is stupid. let the man be happy , he has been this way 3 years!!!! you knew what he was like clearly you thought youd be able to change him so says more about you than him

Reply 7

stephuni

Original post by depressedsoul123

LOL he has issues committing because he doesn't say two words, him saying he wants no other girl and treating her well showing he cares... yeah forget that its only those two words that show commitment as people dont say that when there cheating and sh** . Funny

Reply 8

stephuni

it doesnt matter if he said it to his ex, people change. dump him if you wont let him stay in peace without this constant crap, he feels he isnt good enough as you constantly say he doesnt do what other people do yet he is showing you how he cares for you. just end the relationship he wont change, and he shouldnt.