The Student Room Group

Can my teachers get in trouble for not outing me?

I've been out as trans at school for 2ish years and not to my parents (for reasons I don't want to go into here). I'm gonna come out to my parents next week and am 99.9% certain they will react badly (again, for reasons I don't wanna go into). If they find out that most of my teachers have known for years, do you think there's any risk of my school/teachers getting into trouble? I'm just worried about my parents sending angry emails or something, I'm not even sure, I just don't want to get anyone into a difficult situation and :frown:
No, you have the right to privacy.
There's no legal obligation for teachers to discuss your private life with your parents.
If your parents react in an very angry or hostile manner towards you while you are a student, its likely the school will get involved to protect your wellbeing.

If you believe that your parents are going to give you that much hassle are you really sure that you want to tell them?
It's your life and up to you to decide how much knowledge of your private life you allow your parents.
The same applies to involvement in your future.

I'm not trans but have several trans friends, some who have a great relationship with their families and others who chose to cut contact for their own peace of mind. One friend was repeatedly physically attacked by a parent and now has a restraining order banning contact.

Best of luck for the future!





Original post by Anonymous
I've been out as trans at school for 2ish years and not to my parents (for reasons I don't want to go into here). I'm gonna come out to my parents next week and am 99.9% certain they will react badly (again, for reasons I don't wanna go into). If they find out that most of my teachers have known for years, do you think there's any risk of my school/teachers getting into trouble? I'm just worried about my parents sending angry emails or something, I'm not even sure, I just don't want to get anyone into a difficult situation and :frown:
Even in Texas, which is introducing legislation to allow and encourage teachers to do so, teachers can't "get in trouble" for not doing so...in the UK, the answer is no.

However you may wish to specifically explain this to teachers in case your parents bring it up in a PTA meeting or whatever. Your teachers may not be comfortable outright lying about the matter though, but they may be satisfied with feigning ignorance or being vague about it. It's an awkward position for them but given it regards a students welfare I imagine most will (and should) be happy to oblige to the best of their ability and conscience.

Additionally as noted by the previous poster, if this creates a threat to your physical or mental wellbeing in your home life then you absolutely should tell your teachers about it, as they do have an obligation to take steps to safeguard your wellbeing in that scenario. It may help them be prepared for to take such measures if you let them know in advance your parents may take it badly - although you aren't required to tell them beforehand to still receive any appropriate protections or help.
Reply 3
Original post by londonmyst
No, you have the right to privacy.
There's no legal obligation for teachers to discuss your private life with your parents.
If your parents react in an very angry or hostile manner towards you while you are a student, its likely the school will get involved to protect your wellbeing.

If you believe that your parents are going to give you that much hassle are you really sure that you want to tell them?
It's your life and up to you to decide how much knowledge of your private life you allow your parents.
The same applies to involvement in your future.

I'm not trans but have several trans friends, some who have a great relationship with their families and others who chose to cut contact for their own peace of mind. One friend was repeatedly physically attacked by a parent and now has a restraining order banning contact.

Best of luck for the future!

Great, thanks very much for your help! :smile: And thanks - I feel I need to tell them before my school's graduation ceremony where I am sure it will be mentioned by others and I want to tell them before that happens, plus I do hope to have a good relationship with them. But yeah, stressful! Thanks so much for your help though, makes me feel better :smile:
Reply 4
Original post by artful_lounger
Even in Texas, which is introducing legislation to allow and encourage teachers to do so, teachers can't "get in trouble" for not doing so...in the UK, the answer is no.

However you may wish to specifically explain this to teachers in case your parents bring it up in a PTA meeting or whatever. Your teachers may not be comfortable outright lying about the matter though, but they may be satisfied with feigning ignorance or being vague about it. It's an awkward position for them but given it regards a students welfare I imagine most will (and should) be happy to oblige to the best of their ability and conscience.

Additionally as noted by the previous poster, if this creates a threat to your physical or mental wellbeing in your home life then you absolutely should tell your teachers about it, as they do have an obligation to take steps to safeguard your wellbeing in that scenario. It may help them be prepared for to take such measures if you let them know in advance your parents may take it badly - although you aren't required to tell them beforehand to still receive any appropriate protections or help.

Brilliant, thank you :smile: That's a good idea - I'm about to leave school but my parents might still email teachers! They have been very very accommodating which I think is why I'm so worried about putting them in a tough position. And thanks for that advice too, super helpful! I have spoken to my teachers extensively about the situation and I think they know things might go badly...But super, thanks v much for the reassurance!
Reply 5
Original post by Lifes tough
Out of curiosity and for my own knowledge what do you mean youre out as trans? I.e you like to dress as the opposite gender? I always though trans people are born like that e.g Hijrahs


I mean people at my school used to think I was a girl but I came out as a boy and asked people to call me he/him pronouns and a male name. I guess I dress like a boy too but that isn't the important part! What do you mean 'born like that', you mean like people knew I was trans from when I was born?
Reply 6
Original post by Lifes tough
As in I though transsexuals have both male and female sexual organs. I just done a bit of googling now and have worked out that thats not true. I thought it was like that because transgenders are accepted in a lot of societies where as homosexuals are given very harsh treatment.


Oh right, cool - I think you may be thinking of intersex people! Happy to help so can answer more stuff if you like
Reply 7
Original post by Lifes tough
Are you finding it hard to tell them because of the culture theyre from?


Yeah, kinda I guess - I mean I don't know if its culture exactly but definitely upbringing? Like I know neither of my parents were raised thinking these kinds of things were okay and I guess they haven't been confronted with the issues since so retain negative opinions of it...

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