My friend will never ask to hang out, but always hang out if I ask...

Just a bit curious if anyone else has had a similar experience with this kind of thing?

I've known my friend for over a year now, and we get on really well together. Whenever we hang out we both have a lot of fun and we can also have banter over text too.

But I've noticed that they'll *never* text me first, I always have to initiate a conversation. I also noticed that they've never asked me to hang out, it's always me who has to do this. I've got this fear where I just feel like I'm bothering them whenever I message them or ask them to hang out - but when we're together it's fine.

They always say 'hit me up if you need anything' and 'call me if you need me' but I just would feel uncomfortable doing this since they never initiate contact with me...and I feel like I'd be bothering them.

Am I just overthinking it or is it a possibility that perhaps they no longer like me anymore? I get the impression it's more of a 'I'm down to hang out if you ask but I won't ask you' on their side.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for your time, guys :smile:

Reply 1

sonny.jim

14

Nah, absolutely not. You're overthinking it. For the most part of my life, I was this kid. I had a best friend and we hung out every day yet it was always her who suggested what we did and where we went. That's how our relationship worked. I was timid and although we were comfortable with each other, initiating a conversation or putting forward an idea of my own was never something I did. That's just how some people are and you have to accept that. Now, I've come out of my shell and grown in confidence. I have a new best friend and I'm the one who invites her around to my place and arranges times to hang out rather than her. Not to say she's alike how I used to be at all, I just tend to get there first.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by sonny.jim

Nah, absolutely not. You're overthinking it. For the most part of my life, I was this kid. I had a best friend and we hung out every day yet it was always her who suggested what we did and where we went. That's how our relationship worked. I was timid and although we were comfortable with each other, initiating a conversation or putting forward an idea of my own was never something I did. That's just how some people are and you have to accept that. Now, I've come out of my shell and grown in confidence. I have a new best friend and I'm the one who invites her around to my place and arranges times to hang out rather than her. Not to say she's alike how I used to be at all, I just tend to get there first.

That's definitely reassuring to hear, thank you so much! You're absolutely right, I've just gotta accept it. Thank you :smile:

Reply 3

Jaffalaffa

10

yeah, i've had that too. There's just some people who are either cba with responding or technology. Or they are a bit antisocial. For me, I hate people calling me instead of texting so I try to avoid answering sometimes...

But yeah, doesn't mean they dislike you or anything, just got to accept that's the way they are and not take it personally.

Reply 4

Tiger Rag

22

are they like this with other people or just you?

Reply 5

DeNotoriousOne

13

Ur over thinking :yep:

Don't worry they probably have never made the first move :dontknow:

Reply 6

Bio 7

21

I would be that friend. I don't like planning activities but I do messege them. Don't worry about it, they may consider it bothering you but like to be contacted, they probably feel more comfortable with that.