Am I being silly /overthinking it?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#1
Hi everyone.

My ex gf and I recently decided to get back together (after testing the waters first) and take things really slow since we are both cautious. We confessed our feelings and stuff. Currently we are in a LDR and seeing each other too often is not possible.
Anyway, sometimes she is being mean. Maybe she is joking, but because I am still trying to get used to all this, and because I am a huge overthinker, I tend to believe what she says (even though I don't say it). When we were dating, like before confessing our feelings for each other again, she was never like that, never making such jokes. When I am being serious about something tho she is always nice and sweet/supportive with me.

For example today we were joking and I told her "You will be cooking for us, I don't know how to cook lol" and she was like "Why us? ". I told her "Okay, just for you then lol". She said "Hahahah yeah sure".
We tend to joke a lot in general but as I said, because she is my ex etc etc, and because we decided to take things slow, I am sometimes questioning whethwr she is being serious or not.

What do you think? Am I being too sensitive and overthinking it when I shouldn't?
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999tigger
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Report 2 years ago
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.
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi everyone.

My ex gf and I recently decided to get back together (after testing the waters first) and take things really slow since we are both cautious. We confessed our feelings and stuff. Currently we are in a LDR and seeing each other too often is not possible.
Anyway, sometimes she is being mean. Maybe she is joking, but because I am still trying to get used to all this, and because I am a huge overthinker, I tend to believe what she says (even though I don't say it). When we were dating, like before confessing our feelings for each other again, she was never like that, never making such jokes. When I am being serious about something tho she is always nice and sweet/supportive with me.

For example today we were joking and I told her "You will be cooking for us, I don't know how to cook lol" and she was like "Why us? ". I told her "Okay, just for you then lol". She said "Hahahah yeah sure".
We tend to joke a lot in general but as I said, because she is my ex etc etc, and because we decided to take things slow, I am sometimes questioning whethwr she is being serious or not.

What do you think? Am I being too sensitive and overthinking it when I shouldn't?

Work out why you split.

Compromise and grow a thicker skin, chill a bit and maybe she can be a bit more thoughtful?

Seems you are being oversensitive and overthinking.
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shadowdweller
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It's possible that she's also trying to take things slow and protect herself, if you've already broken up previously - in your example, for instance, dismissing the 'us' part of it might be her trying not to get too invested too early :dontknow:
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Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
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(Original post by 999tigger)
.



Work out why you split.

Compromise and grow a thicker skin, chill a bit and maybe she can be a bit more thoughtful?

Seems you are being oversensitive and overthinking.
I don't know. As I said we joke a lot and that's just how we are. I love joking with her, we both have a nice humour and we have a huge connection. The problem is that since she was my ex and since we decided to take things slow, such words kind of make me believe she is being serious even tho her actions have proven otherwise.

For example, she would never say that thing I mentioned before we both confessed our feelings. Obviously since we both confessed are not try harding anymore and we are going to be more open but yeah.

Not sure if I am being over sensitive and an idiot here.
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canadaman815
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I totally understand your sensitivity. I've had girls before who I was very close to dating, and yet because they didn't understand my sensitivity and would sometimes made jokes I would consider cruel at my expense (even after I told them I was sensitive), things never worked out between us. Looking back, I'm glad I didn't date these types of people because it wouldn't have been healthy for me.

I'm not saying that's necessarily what's best for you, but you need to make sure that she honestly knows your feelings are being hurt, and if she continues on this way anyway, you have to consider whether this is healthy for you. Do you leave conversations like this with a lower sense of self-esteem? Do you feel she generally brings your mood up and is encouraging of you and your talents, or do you more just feel addicted to this girl or comfortable with her because of your previous relationship? Think about your compatibility, and when you get a chance, have an open talk about it. Hoping for the best.
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