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How Can I Keep A Friendship With A Couple?

I've got a slight dilemma at the moment. My two best friends have entered into a relationship, and now I'm worried that I'm going to be excluded. They've of course assured me that this won't happen, and it's been going on for months now and they haven't excluded me to be very fair to them! Of course they've done their own things as they should do, but I can't help overthinking that they're having fun without me. It's the same when I see them both active at the same time on Facebook. I know they're talking to each other, and it's obviously nothing sinister, but I just feel rubbish that they're probably having a very good time and I'm left with no one to message. I know that's completely irrational, but I'm starting to feel like I'm not good enough for them. I honestly like them both so much.

They're the two best people I know. I'd just like some advice as to whether I should confront them about anything or just tell them my honest feelings? I've already told them many times I'm happy for them but the lie is too deep to go back on that now! Please don't tell me to expand my friendship circle as I've already been told...

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Original post by Anonymous
I've got a slight dilemma at the moment. My two best friends have entered into a relationship, and now I'm worried that I'm going to be excluded. They've of course assured me that this won't happen, and it's been going on for months now and they haven't excluded me to be very fair to them! Of course they've done their own things as they should do, but I can't help overthinking that they're having fun without me. It's the same when I see them both active at the same time on Facebook. I know they're talking to each other, and it's obviously nothing sinister, but I just feel rubbish that they're probably having a very good time and I'm left with no one to message. I know that's completely irrational, but I'm starting to feel like I'm not good enough for them. I honestly like them both so much.

They're the two best people I know. I'd just like some advice as to whether I should confront them about anything or just tell them my honest feelings? I've already told them many times I'm happy for them but the lie is too deep to go back on that now! Please don't tell me to expand my friendship circle as I've already been told...


Hannah Baker? Is that you?
Reply 2
Original post by FrankGary
Hannah Baker? Is that you?


That did make me laugh I won't lie
This is complicated, I've personally never gone through this but from a relationship perspective. They will do things only between them since they are together as a couple. I understand that you feel left out but think about it like this. They're your best friends, they still want to hangout with you and see you but they also want to nurture their relationship. Put yourself in their shoes, if you were in a relationship with someone you really like, wouldn't you want to spend time with them? Wouldn't you want some time alone with them? Don't take it personal but think about the fact that they are a couple now and it's normal for them to spend time with each other and not invite you along. Maybe you'll understand their point of view later on but for now, I would say this is not worth you confronting them and ruining your friendship with them. Be there for them and I'm sure they'll be there for you too. If they're not around, do things for you, meet other people, etc. Like I said, it will be tough because one feels like a third wheel but eventually you'll come across new people too and maybe you won't be as close but they'll still be your friends. If you truly are concerned then express this to them but don't ruin your friendship.
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous
This is complicated, I've personally never gone through this but from a relationship perspective. They will do things only between them since they are together as a couple. I understand that you feel left out but think about it like this. They're your best friends, they still want to hangout with you and see you but they also want to nurture their relationship. Put yourself in their shoes, if you were in a relationship with someone you really like, wouldn't you want to spend time with them? Wouldn't you want some time alone with them? Don't take it personal but think about the fact that they are a couple now and it's normal for them to spend time with each other and not invite you along. Maybe you'll understand their point of view later on but for now, I would say this is not worth you confronting them and ruining your friendship with them. Be there for them and I'm sure they'll be there for you too. If they're not around, do things for you, meet other people, etc. Like I said, it will be tough because one feels like a third wheel but eventually you'll come across new people too and maybe you won't be as close but they'll still be your friends. If you truly are concerned then express this to them but don't ruin your friendship.


Thank you for this reply, it has helped me quite a lot and put it into a bit of a perspective for me. The thought of meeting someone else fills me with dread though, I love the pair of them and want them to keep being my best friends. They've said the same to me, but of course I know that inside they love each other. Do you reckon it's possible for us to remain as best friends?
Reply 5
Ask for a threesome
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you for this reply, it has helped me quite a lot and put it into a bit of a perspective for me. The thought of meeting someone else fills me with dread though, I love the pair of them and want them to keep being my best friends. They've said the same to me, but of course I know that inside they love each other. Do you reckon it's possible for us to remain as best friends?


No problem and I think you guys can remain best friends, I don't see why you can't. You care about them and they care about you, you guys should be fine. As long as you make time for them and they do too, then you guys will be fine.
Reply 7
Original post by shagga
Ask for a threesome


I won't say that hasn't crossed my mind...
Reply 8
Original post by Anonymous
No problem and I think you guys can remain best friends, I don't see why you can't. You care about them and they care about you, you guys should be fine. As long as you make time for them and they do too, then you guys will be fine.


Thank you so much, made me feel a lot better :biggrin:
Reply 9
Original post by Anonymous
I won't say that hasn't crossed my mind...


You filthy bugger
Original post by shagga
You filthy bugger


I'll remind you who suggested I ask for one...
Original post by Anonymous
I've got a slight dilemma at the moment. My two best friends have entered into a relationship, and now I'm worried that I'm going to be excluded. They've of course assured me that this won't happen, and it's been going on for months now and they haven't excluded me to be very fair to them! Of course they've done their own things as they should do, but I can't help overthinking that they're having fun without me. It's the same when I see them both active at the same time on Facebook. I know they're talking to each other, and it's obviously nothing sinister, but I just feel rubbish that they're probably having a very good time and I'm left with no one to message. I know that's completely irrational, but I'm starting to feel like I'm not good enough for them. I honestly like them both so much.

They're the two best people I know. I'd just like some advice as to whether I should confront them about anything or just tell them my honest feelings? I've already told them many times I'm happy for them but the lie is too deep to go back on that now! Please don't tell me to expand my friendship circle as I've already been told...


Your kinda third wheeling them..........they are probably being nice to you but if i was you give them space, you can't just leach of two people. Hang out with other friends or go out and meet some yourself who knows if you meet the right person you could double date :u:
Reply 12
Original post by Anonymous
I'll remind you who suggested I ask for one...


Didn't say I don't like filthy buggers
Original post by Decipher
Your kinda third wheeling them..........they are probably being nice to you but if i was you give them space, you can't just leach of two people. Hang out with other friends or go out and meet some yourself who knows if you meet the right person you could double date :u:


Well meeting someone for myself is an idea I suppose, but we had been a close knit three for a while prior to them taking off in a romance, so I think they might be reluctant to have someone else brought into the group unless they knew them personally prior to them two. It's also for the reason that we were best friends before that I'm struggling to accept im leaching off them because then it's as if they've just f*cked me off surely?
Original post by shagga
Didn't say I don't like filthy buggers


I never said that you did either :smile:
Reply 15
Original post by Anonymous
I never said that you did either :smile:


Touche, now make me proud and have a threesome
Original post by shagga
Touche, now make me proud and have a threesome


Oh don't worry I will, I'll let this thread know how it goes!
Original post by Anonymous
I think they might be reluctant to have someone else brought into the group unless they knew them personally prior to them two. ?


See theres the issue buddy, you have to remember that you are your own person and you are allowed to be friends with people those two aren't. You're coming of like you rely on them, you need be a lil more independent and not need your friends assurance ^ ^
Original post by Decipher
See theres the issue buddy, you have to remember that you are your own person and you are allowed to be friends with people those two aren't. You're coming of like you rely on them, you need be a lil more independent and not need your friends assurance ^ ^


Yeah but I know they'd be the same. They definitely wouldn't invite anyone else when it was just the three of us.
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah but I know they'd be the same. They definitely wouldn't invite anyone else when it was just the three of us.


You have to stop talking about the three of you, you are a strong independent person xD
As people get older relationships mature so over time they'll want their own space and they will eventually want more time for each other than just the three of you. It's just life unless you stay a third wheel forever but that's tragic :biggrin:
But you can always stay best friends with them but you just won't be as close as before..........relationships between best friends excluding you is a kick in the balls.
Luckily haven't experienced it myself but i have been a lil annoyed when a mate of mine was third wheeling for a month and didn't notice........ :pinch:

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