What do guys really think about paying on the first date? Watch

username3770138
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 10 months ago
#1
Just curious because as a girl I have such a strong opinion about this as I do with everything lol. I know some men/boys feel emasculated if the girl was to pay.
Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
0
reply
999tigger
  • Answer Heroes
Badges: 19
#2
Report 10 months ago
#2
(Original post by tsranonymous)
Just curious because as a girl I have such a strong opinion about this as I do with everything lol. I know some men/boys feel emasculated if the girl was to pay.
1. If a person asks then you are their guest and the assumption is that they pay.

2. If you wish to go dutch, then ask and they should without fuss agree to this.

3. If they wont agree and are insistent, despite making it clear it is your preference to go dutch, then they are idiot for not listening. They may also have the idea they are buying you.

4. I might also be aware of their being a great earnings differential between two people.

5. The guest can always buy drinks or pay next time.

6. It shouldnt be an issue and if you can't sort something like this out without fuss, then you dont have much chance of making it as a couple.

Thems my rules.
8
reply
Anonymous #1
#3
Report 10 months ago
#3
I don't really think the man should have to pay. In Western society, women are considered equal to men, so I don't think it's necessary for men to pay.

People can't have it both ways. Can't want equality, but then also expect the boy to pay.
4
reply
gjd800
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#4
Report 10 months ago
#4
Doesn't bother me either way.
0
reply
tamil fever
Badges: 17
#5
Report 10 months ago
#5
not a guy but i think all this first date paying will be sorted if u guys pay equally according to what u ordered.
7
reply
username3770138
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#6
Report Thread starter 10 months ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
I don't really think the man should have to pay. In Western society, women are considered equal to men, so I don't think it's necessary for men to pay.

People can't have it both ways. Can't want equality, but then also expect the boy to pay.

See this is exactly the way I think aswell. I know there are some women who always want the man to pay but I don’t understand because if he always treats you then who treats him.
Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
4
reply
monkeyman0121
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#7
Report 10 months ago
#7
That's easy, pay for the stuff that you had at the date, be it tickets, food or drinks. And they pay for the stuff they had. I like it this way.

I don't like the idea of splitting it equally since someone may get way more than the other and then whoever is not is paying way more than they have had too.
9
reply
username3770138
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#8
Report Thread starter 10 months ago
#8
(Original post by monkeyman0121)
That's easy, pay for the stuff that you had at the date, be it tickets, food or drinks. And they pay for the stuff they had. I like it this way.

I don't like the idea of splitting it equally since someone may get way more than the other and then whoever is not is paying way more than they have had too.
Yeah I agree with you.
Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
0
reply
Decipher
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#9
Report 10 months ago
#9
(Original post by tsranonymous)
See this is exactly the way I think aswell. I know there are some women who always want the man to pay but I don’t understand because if he always treats you then who treats him.
Thats the sad reality sometimes, however i'm sure guys don't mind paying it shows that they are a generous person and don't expect things in return which women find an attractive quality most times.
1
reply
MJ1012
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#10
Report 10 months ago
#10
Here's how it should work IMO
If you've asked them out/ chose the place, you definitely offer as there could be confusion that you were offering to treat them from the offset and they may not be able to afford a place you've chose.
In general, for a perfect first date, the guy offers to pay when the bill comes, it shows an element of romantic attraction still and not wanting to end the date as" just friends"
However, the woman should then say "no, I'll pay for myself" or "Ok, I'll get it next time"
This shows that the woman was genuinely interested in your company and that you were worth paying for as a mutual enjoyment and she's not some "thot" who swiped for a free meal or has some entitlement that her company should be paid for.
There are exceptions to this, such as a big, big financial disparity or if the man chooses a ridiculously expensive restaurant.
This way the man goes home knowing that the woman actively wanted to go on the date and the woman goes home knowing the man was romantic/ nice enough to offer to pay.
10
reply
username3770138
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#11
Report Thread starter 10 months ago
#11
(Original post by MJ1012)
Here's how it should work IMO
If you've asked them out/ chose the place, you definitely offer as there could be confusion that you were offering to treat them from the offset and they may not be able to afford a place you've chose.
In general, for a perfect first date, the guy offers to pay when the bill comes, it shows an element of romantic attraction still and not wanting to end the date as" just friends"
However, the woman should then say "no, I'll pay for myself" or "Ok, I'll get it next time"
This shows that the woman was genuinely interested in your company and that you were worth paying for as a mutual enjoyment and she's not some "thot" who swiped for a free meal or has some entitlement that her company should be paid for.
There are exceptions to this, such as a big, big financial disparity or if the man chooses a ridiculously expensive restaurant.
This way the man goes home knowing that the woman actively wanted to go on the date and the woman goes home knowing the man was romantic/ nice enough to offer to pay.
Yeah I definitely agree with you. It should work like this but it’s a shame it doesn’t always.
Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
0
reply
username3770138
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#12
Report Thread starter 10 months ago
#12
(Original post by Decipher)
Thats the sad reality sometimes, however i'm sure guys don't mind paying it shows that they are a generous person and don't expect things in return which women find an attractive quality most times.
Yeah I guess so, but it’s the same women who want the men to pay who’ll pull the ‘men and women are equal’ card.
Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
0
reply
FakeNewsEditor
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#13
Report 10 months ago
#13
Idc either way. It's such a petty issue and I don't welcome how moralised or politicised it has become.
2
reply
as125
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#14
Report 10 months ago
#14
This is how it should work IN MY OPINION

Find the sum of the total amount that the bill is for the food, drinks, crisps, whatever people have on dates.
Then make the sum equal to 0.
After this take X on one side.
Differentiate and find the derivative.
Make the gradient =0 and find the stationary point

Determine if the stationary point is a min/max and if it is min the guy pays and if it is max the women pays

BOOM! Always works, such a easy way of doing things
Thank you
Take a bow as125
1
reply
applesforme
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#15
Report 10 months ago
#15
(Original post by Anonymous)
I don't really think the man should have to pay. In Western society, women are considered equal to men, so I don't think it's necessary for men to pay.

People can't have it both ways. Can't want equality, but then also expect the boy to pay.
why not? if a man wants to make a good impression he should try to pay just for the first time. he shouldn't push it, if she wants to go halves, but it's a gentlemanly gesture just for the first time.
1
reply
Decipher
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#16
Report 10 months ago
#16
(Original post by tsranonymous)
Yeah I guess so, but it’s the same women who want the men to pay who’ll pull the ‘men and women are equal’ card.
obviously its a kind gesture to offer to pay as a man, but if the women says something like "dw about it i will pay for myself" then its fine. But if the guy is adamant on paying then that raises other issues and can be seen as rude for the girl.

And also women who are two faced and do both expect to pay and then be adamant on paying, are the types that men would wanna avoid, so they can carry one it only makes it easier for guys to decide if she is worth continuing a relationship with or not.
0
reply
username4103202
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#17
Report 10 months ago
#17
(Original post by MJ1012)
Here's how it should work IMO
If you've asked them out/ chose the place, you definitely offer as there could be confusion that you were offering to treat them from the offset and they may not be able to afford a place you've chose.
In general, for a perfect first date, the guy offers to pay when the bill comes, it shows an element of romantic attraction still and not wanting to end the date as" just friends"
However, the woman should then say "no, I'll pay for myself" or "Ok, I'll get it next time"
This shows that the woman was genuinely interested in your company and that you were worth paying for as a mutual enjoyment and she's not some "thot" who swiped for a free meal or has some entitlement that her company should be paid for.
There are exceptions to this, such as a big, big financial disparity or if the man chooses a ridiculously expensive restaurant.
This way the man goes home knowing that the woman actively wanted to go on the date and the woman goes home knowing the man was romantic/ nice enough to offer to pay.
And, if a woman offers to pay, it should be a genuine request and not fake courtesy. The only way to know for sure is to let her pay without fuss. If she shows clear discomfort or decides to not go on a second date with you because of this , then you've dodged a bullet unless that's the kind of woman you desire.
3
reply
Anonymous #2
#18
Report 10 months ago
#18
If I'm "taking" a girl out for dinner / lunch etc, I would treat her as my guest and insist on paying 2-3 times then be happy to split (it's meant to be my treat in my opinion)...
If it's a mutual "we should go out at some point", I'd offer to pay (out of habit) but happily without discussing split the bill if offered
If the girl is taking me out... 9/10 I'd be offering out of formality (happy to split though too), and would equally be willing for the girl to pay
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#19
Report 10 months ago
#19
(Original post by petalsunrise)
why not? if a man wants to make a good impression he should try to pay just for the first time. he shouldn't push it, if she wants to go halves, but it's a gentlemanly gesture just for the first time.
But why? What is the logical reason for why he should offer?

(Obviously it's up to individuals. If the man offers, then that's up to him. Obviously it would look bad if the man didn't offer. But if you actually think about it logically, that's completely sexist and unfair.)
0
reply
username1221160
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#20
Report 10 months ago
#20
Having a strong opinion about something as petty as who should pay is a red flag. You won't get a second date if you are really insistent either way.
2
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

How did your Edexcel GCSE Maths Paper 1 go?

Loved the paper - feeling positive (516)
26.27%
The paper was reasonable (857)
43.64%
Not feeling great about that exam (383)
19.5%
It was TERRIBLE (208)
10.59%

Watched Threads

View All