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How do I get a girlfriend at university

I am hopefully going to university in September and need advice on how to get a girlfriend there.
I haven’t had a relationship since I was 12 and it wasn’t serious at all( only lasted a few weeks). I know it was a long time ago but I was terrible as in I hardly spoke to her and had no clue what I was doing.

When i broke up the relationship, I never started one again or even tried. I didn’t really click with any girls in my school but I don’t think I tried hard enough. Anyways, I really want to find a girlfriend at university for a number of reasons. Firstly, I want to spend time with someone and get to know someone on a personal level. Secondly, I want to have a long standing relationship with someone I can hopefully have a future with and lastly I just want to share experiences with someone who’s kind, considerate and caring.
I have always been an introvert but I honestly feel like I can change now I have the ‘I have nothing to lose and everything to gain’ attitude. I am not the most attractive guy but do feel I have a lot to offer in terms of being genuine and just nice.
So what do I need to do? As in do I just approach every girl im interested in on my course and see which one interests me the most, do I join clubs I’m interested in and hope there are girls there etc. I also probably need to find a group of friends that are guys who will push me to be more confident and who I can have a good time with.
When I’m surrounded by the right people I’m so good to be around and lively etc. When I’m not I’m terrible at socialising and just not the same guy.
I also struggle with bad anxiety which may be a problem. I’m seeing my gp soon to try get beta blockers or something so I’m more confident.
My sense of fashion is also terrible and I need to buy a certain selection of clothes for uni so I feel better about myself.
There’s a lot of things I need to do this summer. Get some money, buy some good clothes, sort out some of my skin issues and improve my anxiety and confidence. I’m buzzing for university and can’t wait to pursue a course that interests me and hopefully meet some cool people. I am worried I won’t have any friends or click with any girls but I’m sure it’s normal to feel like that. I don’t want to say I never tried.
Anyways if any one has an advice I’d appreciate it.

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From reading your post, it seems as though you have the right idea on how to get a girlfriend already! You sound like a lovely guy and whoever you find is a very lucky girl indeed.
Original post by sonny.jim
From reading your post, it seems as though you have the right idea on how to get a girlfriend already! You sound like a lovely guy and whoever you find is a very lucky girl indeed.


I agree with what he said, good luck!!
Original post by susu66s
I agree with what he said, good luck!!

I'm a she. Take a look at my profile! It's not as though it matters but perhaps it means more coming from a girl.
Original post by sonny.jim
I'm a she. Take a look at my profile! It's not as though it matters but perhaps it means more coming from a girl.


I’m sorry I just looked at your avatar, but yeah you gave him good advice😌
Original post by sonny.jim
From reading your post, it seems as though you have the right idea on how to get a girlfriend already! You sound like a lovely guy and whoever you find is a very lucky girl indeed.


That’s reassuring to hear and thank you:smile:. Just really worried about being rejected or girls not liking me. I hope they give me a chance to just see what sort of guy I am
Original post by Willcornwell500
That’s reassuring to hear and thank you:smile:. Just really worried about being rejected or girls not liking me. I hope they give me a chance to just see what sort of guy I am

I hope for your sake that they do too! If not, they're not worth your time. I would say though, don't exhaust yourself by actively looking for someone to date. Let the perfect person come into your life!
chances are the reason you dont have a girlfriend is because you are not good looking

This wont change by going to uni.

Your options are a)become rich and find a gold digger b) give up
Original post by Anonymous
chances are the reason you dont have a girlfriend is because you are not good looking

This wont change by going to uni.

Your options are a)become rich and find a gold digger b) give up

No it’s because I haven’t properly tried or approached a girl. I am relatively rich and am not going out with a gold digger who is only concerned with using me for my money.
You’ll never find a genuine girlfriend with that sort of attitude.
Original post by sonny.jim
I hope for your sake that they do too! If not, they're not worth your time. I would say though, don't exhaust yourself by actively looking for someone to date. Let the perfect person come into your life!


Okay yeah that makes sense. Thanks for your advice
Original post by Willcornwell500
That’s reassuring to hear and thank you:smile:. Just really worried about being rejected or girls not liking me. I hope they give me a chance to just see what sort of guy I am
Think of it as being like a door to door salesman.

In fact, great preparation for you going to uni would be to get a job over the summer as a salesman.
Something like being an adjustable bed salesman would be ideal (do you have a car and full driving license?). Where you visit people's homes and try to sell them something. After receiving some training.

Where most of the time you won't get a sale. But the times that you do, make up for all the rejections.
Original post by Willcornwell500
No it’s because I haven’t properly tried or approached a girl. I am relatively rich and am not going out with a gold digger who is only concerned with using me for my money.
You’ll never find a genuine girlfriend with that sort of attitude.


there is no such thing as properly trying or approaching girls. That is not how it works.

If no girl has shown an interest in you, if your facebook inbox is empty, if no girl has asked your friend for your number, it means your *****
Hi! You seem to be on the right path already :smile:
However, a few suggestions.

1) If you have any female friends, ask them for fashion tips. Hell, even watch Queer Eye on Netflix- it has some great, simple tips for fashion without being too hard or expensive to follow (also super fun to watch). Also, trying to replicate male celebrity styles are a good start too - just make sure its stuff you would actually wear.

2) Dear god do not approach every girl on your course. Not only does it seem desperate but every girl on the course will warn one another about you being the "creepy guy".

3) Self-improvement over the summer is great! Looking after your body is super important and getting into the habit of it now will make it easier when you're stressed out at uni.

4) Join clubs and societies you're interested in, both in and outside of uni. Its great for meeting people, improving your social skills and looking interesting on your CV.

5) Try dating apps like Tinder and Bumble. They can be superficial but you can get a genuine idea of how to interact with girls, and if (like me) you get nervous talking or don't feel interested anymore, you can unmatch and pretend it never happened lol.

6) Give it time. You're most likely not going to end up with a girlfriend within the first few weeks; everyone is getting used to everyone else and their new environment. Try and attend as many "freshers" events as possible, talk to lots of people. Anxiety is poopy but when you think about it, you may not even see the people again, but at least you were friendly to them. Also, people are just as nervous when it comes to dating and talking to strangers :smile:.

7) Getting a job over the summer is a great idea; you'll have a little money to party and a little money to support yourself. Working in public service job like retail or catering is great because you can improve your social skills.

8) Try and stay as true to yourself as possible, don't be a clone of every dude around you. Yes, you can evolve and develop new interests, but don't become 'generic boy #383779'.

Good luck, from a gal also going to uni in September (hopefully, lol)!
Original post by Anonymous
there is no such thing as properly trying or approaching girls. That is not how it works.

If no girl has shown an interest in you, if your facebook inbox is empty, if no girl has asked your friend for your number, it means your *****


I’m telling you this as a good piece of advice. You’re stupid.
Girls hardly approach guys unless they’re extremely rich, famous or extremely good looking. How do guys that are average looking and not rich have girlfriends? Because they’re confident and approach girls. You have a very narrow minded view.
Original post by yikesonbikes
Hi! You seem to be on the right path already :smile:
However, a few suggestions.

1) If you have any female friends, ask them for fashion tips. Hell, even watch Queer Eye on Netflix- it has some great, simple tips for fashion without being too hard or expensive to follow (also super fun to watch). Also, trying to replicate male celebrity styles are a good start too - just make sure its stuff you would actually wear.

2) Dear god do not approach every girl on your course. Not only does it seem desperate but every girl on the course will warn one another about you being the "creepy guy".

3) Self-improvement over the summer is great! Looking after your body is super important and getting into the habit of it now will make it easier when you're stressed out at uni.

4) Join clubs and societies you're interested in, both in and outside of uni. Its great for meeting people, improving your social skills and looking interesting on your CV.

5) Try dating apps like Tinder and Bumble. They can be superficial but you can get a genuine idea of how to interact with girls, and if (like me) you get nervous talking or don't feel interested anymore, you can unmatch and pretend it never happened lol.

6) Give it time. You're most likely not going to end up with a girlfriend within the first few weeks; everyone is getting used to everyone else and their new environment. Try and attend as many "freshers" events as possible, talk to lots of people. Anxiety is poopy but when you think about it, you may not even see the people again, but at least you were friendly to them. Also, people are just as nervous when it comes to dating and talking to strangers :smile:.

7) Getting a job over the summer is a great idea; you'll have a little money to party and a little money to support yourself. Working in public service job like retail or catering is great because you can improve your social skills.

8) Try and stay as true to yourself as possible, don't be a clone of every dude around you. Yes, you can evolve and develop new interests, but don't become 'generic boy #383779'.

Good luck, from a gal also going to uni in September (hopefully, lol)!

Thank you for your advice :smile:. I hope you get into your desired uni
Original post by Willcornwell500
Thank you for your advice :smile:. I hope you get into your desired uni


Thank you! :smile:
Original post by Willcornwell500
I am hopefully going to university in September and need advice on how to get a girlfriend there.
I haven’t had a relationship since I was 12 and it wasn’t serious at all( only lasted a few weeks). I know it was a long time ago but I was terrible as in I hardly spoke to her and had no clue what I was doing.

When i broke up the relationship, I never started one again or even tried. I didn’t really click with any girls in my school but I don’t think I tried hard enough. Anyways, I really want to find a girlfriend at university for a number of reasons. Firstly, I want to spend time with someone and get to know someone on a personal level. Secondly, I want to have a long standing relationship with someone I can hopefully have a future with and lastly I just want to share experiences with someone who’s kind, considerate and caring.
I have always been an introvert but I honestly feel like I can change now I have the ‘I have nothing to lose and everything to gain’ attitude. I am not the most attractive guy but do feel I have a lot to offer in terms of being genuine and just nice.
So what do I need to do? As in do I just approach every girl im interested in on my course and see which one interests me the most, do I join clubs I’m interested in and hope there are girls there etc. I also probably need to find a group of friends that are guys who will push me to be more confident and who I can have a good time with.
When I’m surrounded by the right people I’m so good to be around and lively etc. When I’m not I’m terrible at socialising and just not the same guy.
I also struggle with bad anxiety which may be a problem. I’m seeing my gp soon to try get beta blockers or something so I’m more confident.
My sense of fashion is also terrible and I need to buy a certain selection of clothes for uni so I feel better about myself.
There’s a lot of things I need to do this summer. Get some money, buy some good clothes, sort out some of my skin issues and improve my anxiety and confidence. I’m buzzing for university and can’t wait to pursue a course that interests me and hopefully meet some cool people. I am worried I won’t have any friends or click with any girls but I’m sure it’s normal to feel like that. I don’t want to say I never tried.
Anyways if any one has an advice I’d appreciate it.


Remember there are PLENTY of mf fishes in the sea. Just because you didn't click with any girls at school doesn't mean your options are limited. I have never had a boyfriend myself, but that doesn't make me lacking in any way, I'm just sick and tired of f***boys tryna use me for my looks. In all honesty, I just want an average guy willing to be a great life partner for me. I wanna be serious with a lowkey and awks guy because they're the cutest ever!

You will find plenty of girls like myself not interested in ******** and 8 packs. And you will also find girls who value and stand by 8 packs and jawlines like oxygen. That's okay, those two breeds are compatible. And yours and mines are also compatible. So dw you will find her at uni.

It may mean you will need to put in effort to find such a girl at uni or it may mean that she finds you first! Just have some confidence to talk to everyone on a friendzone basis and eventually you have some platform to begin grafting.

Save the flirting for the serious girls that catch your eye.

Also, how would you rate yourself looks wise out of ten?
Walk round campus with a skull tshirt, a trench coat and a big backpack (khaki).
You'll be irresistible.
Original post by Willcornwell500
I am hopefully going to university in September and need advice on how to get a girlfriend there.
I haven’t had a relationship since I was 12 and it wasn’t serious at all( only lasted a few weeks). I know it was a long time ago but I was terrible as in I hardly spoke to her and had no clue what I was doing.

When i broke up the relationship, I never started one again or even tried. I didn’t really click with any girls in my school but I don’t think I tried hard enough. Anyways, I really want to find a girlfriend at university for a number of reasons. Firstly, I want to spend time with someone and get to know someone on a personal level. Secondly, I want to have a long standing relationship with someone I can hopefully have a future with and lastly I just want to share experiences with someone who’s kind, considerate and caring.
I have always been an introvert but I honestly feel like I can change now I have the ‘I have nothing to lose and everything to gain’ attitude. I am not the most attractive guy but do feel I have a lot to offer in terms of being genuine and just nice.
So what do I need to do? As in do I just approach every girl im interested in on my course and see which one interests me the most, do I join clubs I’m interested in and hope there are girls there etc. I also probably need to find a group of friends that are guys who will push me to be more confident and who I can have a good time with.
When I’m surrounded by the right people I’m so good to be around and lively etc. When I’m not I’m terrible at socialising and just not the same guy.
I also struggle with bad anxiety which may be a problem. I’m seeing my gp soon to try get beta blockers or something so I’m more confident.
My sense of fashion is also terrible and I need to buy a certain selection of clothes for uni so I feel better about myself.
There’s a lot of things I need to do this summer. Get some money, buy some good clothes, sort out some of my skin issues and improve my anxiety and confidence. I’m buzzing for university and can’t wait to pursue a course that interests me and hopefully meet some cool people. I am worried I won’t have any friends or click with any girls but I’m sure it’s normal to feel like that. I don’t want to say I never tried.
Anyways if any one has an advice I’d appreciate it.


Seems like you have a good attitude, I wish you luck! Two things: one which you seemed to have talked about a bit is confidence levels. Confidence means the world, and is extremely attractive!
The second thing is to be careful of falling into the "nice guy" trap - there are some guys who wonder why they aren't in a relationship because of how nice they are. Like a previous poster said, you don't want to turn into average decent chap#205 - having a good sense of humour, dressing well, being interesting to talk to etc all really help as well.

I'm going to uni this year, and really excited as well! We should have a great time :smile:
(edited 5 years ago)
Original post by remsharaza
Remember there are PLENTY of mf fishes in the sea. Just because you didn't click with any girls at school doesn't mean your options are limited. I have never had a boyfriend myself, but that doesn't make me lacking in any way, I'm just sick and tired of f***boys tryna use me for my looks. In all honesty, I just want an average guy willing to be a great life partner for me. I wanna be serious with a lowkey and awks guy because they're the cutest ever!

You will find plenty of girls like myself not interested in ******** and 8 packs. And you will also find girls who value and stand by 8 packs and jawlines like oxygen. That's okay, those two breeds are compatible. And yours and mines are also compatible. So dw you will find her at uni.

It may mean you will need to put in effort to find such a girl at uni or it may mean that she finds you first! Just have some confidence to talk to everyone on a friendzone basis and eventually you have some platform to begin grafting.

Save the flirting for the serious girls that catch your eye.

Also, how would you rate yourself looks wise out of ten?


I understand what your saying and thanks for your advice. And I am glad there are girls like you out there who don’t care about six packs etc and just wanna be with an average guy cause that pretty much sums me up. Also I don’t think too highly of myself so would rate myself like 5-6/10 at highest but others may rate me 7-8 cause I have pretty low self esteem.

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