lauren_nj
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#1
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okay now im freaking out and just found out that you cant delete posts but thanks anyway

and no my school gives us no direction. my teacher told me to write a ps and then he said hes too busy to mark it all and when i looked online they said the student room
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Sivn
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Has no one told you that never ever put your ps online????? UCAS has a system for plagiarism and the maximum percentage of your ps that's similar to anything online is 8% (if my memory is correct). Now you just can't use this ps anymore.
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ageshallnot
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(Original post by Sivn)
Has no one told you that never ever put your ps online????? UCAS has a system for plagiarism and the maximum percentage of your ps that's similar to anything online is 8% (if my memory is correct). Now you just can't use this ps anymore.
This^^
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username3331778
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While I agree completely with the guy who told you not to put your personal statement online I will offer my two cents

- Start with explicitly stating what subject you are applying for.
- If you need to cut down on word count remove the conclusion; by definition, they don't have any information in them that isn't already in the main body.
- Proof read it, there are a few mistakes and some parts could use some punctuation but I guess this is just an early draft.
- Avoid emotional/conversational/cliche phrases, "I hope to hear from you soon" and "strives for perfection" are kind of empty words.
- It should be "my team and I"
- It could do with some condensation in general, almost every sentence in that third paragraph starts with "I", for instance.
- The second paragraph about how each of your current subjects will be helpful in your choice of degree is good, keep something like that.

Take this with a grain of salt - I've written exactly one personal statement in my life just as almost everyone else here has, getting help from advisers or teachers in your college, who see a hundred a year, is probably going to be more helpful than my rambling.
I don't think the method UCAS uses to compare personal statements is quite as vigilant as people think but they probably check this place often and I don't know what the rules on TSR itself are like with stuff like this so it might be prudent to edit your message to remove all that or just delete this thread.
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lauren_nj
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(Original post by Sivn)
Has no one told you that never ever put your ps online????? UCAS has a system for plagiarism and the maximum percentage of your ps that's similar to anything online is 8% (if my memory is correct). Now you just can't use this ps anymore.
no and now im freaking out
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Sivn
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No need to freak out though, you still have a few months to write a new ps but just remember to compare it to the old one and make it completely different... Hard to do but still is a way.

EDIT: not too sure how the system works but if I were you I'll write a new one just in case.
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lauren_nj
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(Original post by yolkie)
It's fine, you would have to submit the thing almost word for word in order for it to pick stuff up. Even so your message in a forum that was public for like 30 minutes will not be used for comparison. This has probably happened before, you'll get some admin chiming in soon hopefully and setting it straight.
Thanks.
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lauren_nj
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(Original post by yolkie)
While I agree completely with the guy who told you not to put your personal statement online I will offer my two cents

- Start with explicitly stating what subject you are applying for.
- If you need to cut down on word count remove the conclusion; by definition, they don't have any information in them that isn't already in the main body.
- Proof read it, there are a few mistakes and some parts could use some punctuation but I guess this is just an early draft.
- Avoid emotional/conversational/cliche phrases, "I hope to hear from you soon" and "strives for perfection" are kind of empty words.
- It should be "my team and I"
- It could do with some condensation in general, almost every sentence in that third paragraph starts with "I", for instance.
- The second paragraph about how each of your current subjects will be helpful in your choice of degree is good, keep something like that.

Take this with a grain of salt - I've written exactly one personal statement in my life just as almost everyone else here has, getting help from advisers or teachers in your college, who see a hundred a year, is probably going to be more helpful than my rambling.
I don't think the method UCAS uses to compare personal statements is quite as vigilant as people think but they probably check this place often and I don't know what the rules on TSR itself are like with stuff like this so it might be prudent to edit your message to remove all that or just delete this thread.
i dont know ow to delete it but i edited it out
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Doones
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(Original post by lauren_nj)
okay now im freaking out and just found out that you cant delete posts but thanks anyway

and no my school gives us no direction. my teacher told me to write a ps and then he said hes too busy to mark it all and when i looked online they said the student room
Hi, I've checked the opening line from your original post and it has been cached by Google.

Name:  Screen Shot 2018-06-25 at 12.07.27.jpg
Views: 70
Size:  139.5 KB

You definitely need to entirely rewrite your PS.
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Puddles the Monkey
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(Original post by lauren_nj)
okay now im freaking out and just found out that you cant delete posts but thanks anyway

and no my school gives us no direction. my teacher told me to write a ps and then he said hes too busy to mark it all and when i looked online they said the student room
Just so you know - we also have PS review forum on TSR which is private and safe to post in as it won't be seen by Google or anyone except you and our PS Review team. You can find it here. Once you've completed your PS and have a final draft you can submit it there for a review
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