Is this suspicious or not at all?

Watch
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#1
Hi. So currently I see my girlfriend once a week (sometimes more) since we don't live that close to each other. That means we spend a lot of time texting and stuff.

We talk almost all day on Whatsapp, but the past 2 months I have seen her enabling/disabling constantly the option that you can see someone's last seen.

If you are not familiar with the app, you can basically hide or not your last seen so other won't know when you used the app last time.

So basically some days she has it enabled, then she disables and stuff like that. Should I worry about this or even think it's supicious, or not at all? I am a huge overthinker and it beats me asking such childish questions, but I want to know whether it's something important, red flag or I don't know what.
0
reply
Advertisement
FailedTeacher
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#2
Report 2 years ago
#2
Can she do that individually with you or if she turns it off, is it off for everyone?

She might not be doing it for you but tbh, just ask her.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#3
(Original post by FailedTeacher)
Can she do that individually with you or if she turns it off, is it off for everyone?

She might not be doing it for you but tbh, just ask her.
She is not doing it for me, because I have my last seen disabled already, so I can't see others' last seen. My friend told me that since she is in his contact list on whatsapp.
0
reply
Advertisement
Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#4
(Original post by FailedTeacher)
Can she do that individually with you or if she turns it off, is it off for everyone?

She might not be doing it for you but tbh, just ask her.
Also, she can't do it individually, she has 2 options: 1. disable her last seen for everyone 2. disable her last seen for ppl who are no in her contact list (I am)
0
reply
StriderHort
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#5
Report 2 years ago
#5
I'd switch it off, I don't really like the idea of apps telling other people what i'm doing out of principle

Lets face it, the 'seen' feature of most of these things just drives insecure or controlling people up the friggin wall, esp if they take it as gospel which way too many do (had too many people moan at me over the years 'why didn't you reply? facebook said you were there?' it was 3am, i was sound asleep you berk, I don't give a crap what a computer in America is telling you about me.
2
reply
Advertisement
FailedTeacher
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#6
Report 2 years ago
#6
(Original post by StriderHort)
I'd switch it off, I don't really like the idea of apps telling other people what i'm doing out of principle

Lets face it, the 'seen' feature of most of these things just drives insecure or controlling people up the friggin wall, esp if they take it as gospel which way too many do (had too many people moan at me over the years 'why didn't you reply? facebook said you were there?' it was 3am, i was sound asleep you berk, I don't give a crap what a computer in America is telling you about me.
Agreed!
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#7
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#7
(Original post by StriderHort)
I'd switch it off, I don't really like the idea of apps telling other people what i'm doing out of principle

Lets face it, the 'seen' feature of most of these things just drives insecure or controlling people up the friggin wall, esp if they take it as gospel which way too many do (had too many people moan at me over the years 'why didn't you reply? facebook said you were there?' it was 3am, i was sound asleep you berk, I don't give a crap what a computer in America is telling you about me.
The problem is she is constantly enabling/disabling it. Why would she do that? Its surely not cuz of me because I have my last seen disabled already so I can't see others' last seen anyway.
0
reply
Advertisement
StriderHort
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#8
Report 2 years ago
#8
Why's it a problem? is she ignoring you? Just ask 'Are you doing something weird with whatsapp? your status keeps changing' innocent enough question.

Cannot stress enough, these features just wind people up, in the dark old days of email sending emails that reported a read response was seen as EXTREMELY intrusive outwith a professional situation, very pushy.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#9
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#9
(Original post by StriderHort)
Why's it a problem? is she ignoring you? Just ask 'Are you doing something weird with whatsapp? your status keeps changing' innocent enough question.

Cannot stress enough, these features just wind people up, in the dark old days of email sending emails that reported a read response was seen as EXTREMELY intrusive outwith a professional situation, very pushy.
No, she is not ignoring me, we basically talk all day pretty much (of course with breaks and there are exceptions but in general we talk a lot). She is also surely not doing it for me because, as I said, I have my whatsapp last seen disabled myself so I can't see others' last seen too.

I just don't know. There must be a reason why she does that and I don't want to look like a fool and ask her about that. Is it reasonable to feel worried/think it's suspicious or am I being paranoid and overthinking it for no reason?
0
reply
Advertisement
StriderHort
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#10
Report 2 years ago
#10
Paranoia and overthinking for no reason by the sound of it.

C'mon, you talk all day every day and can't ask her how she uses whatsapp? it's not an accusation or 'We need to talk' it's just 'your whatsapp keeps doing weird stuff, are you changing it?' New features are added to all these things constantly, half the time I only know what the hell they are because I ask someone what they just did.
0
reply
karl pilkington
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#11
Report 2 years ago
#11
If she is talking to another guy maybe she is doing it so that he doesn't know she talks to you. Maybe her parents check it or something,
0
reply
Advertisement
UWS
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#12
Report 2 years ago
#12
The more you think about it, the more "suspicious" it will be.
1
reply
GlockInmyRari
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#13
Report 2 years ago
#13
Why do you worry? I mean what could be wrong? Especially if she's not doing it for you, i don't see the problem. This is not an indication of her cheating or whatever, do you think?

I used to do it sometimes too tbh. Just when i want some more time to think about my respons. Or when i want to hide that i didn't sleep all night. Could be for students i'm doing a group project with or people i have a difficult relationship with. For example people who always ask me things last minute. I disable last seen and message-read-confirmation, ignore them for an hour, and say that i didn't see whatsapp and it's too late now.

There are a lot of normal reasons why she could be doing it.
0
reply
Advertisement
Anonymous #1
#14
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#14
(Original post by UWS)
The more you think about it, the more "suspicious" it will be.
So what should I do, in your opinion?
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#15
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#15
(Original post by karl pilkington)
If she is talking to another guy maybe she is doing it so that he doesn't know she talks to you. Maybe her parents check it or something,
Yeah, I am afraid it might be the first, even though she hasnt shown me any signs to believe that.
0
reply
Tankinator
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#16
Report 2 years ago
#16
You are crazy. Imagine obsessing over when someone was last one their whatsapp lmao. The world has gone completely mad. Technology is invading our lives
0
reply
UWS
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#17
Report 2 years ago
#17
(Original post by Anonymous)
So what should I do, in your opinion?
Nothing.
0
reply
Advertisement
Spacerboon
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#18
Report 2 years ago
#18
Nope, she hasn't done anything suspicious or wrong. Likelihood is that she wanted to read your messages and respond when she was able to give them her full attention (she might have been working/with a friend/on a Netflix binge). I'd guess she didn't want you to think she was online and ignoring you but might have ducked in and out of Whatsapp to send the odd one-off message to someone.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#19
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#19
(Original post by Spacerboon)
Nope, she hasn't done anything suspicious or wrong. Likelihood is that she wanted to read your messages and respond when she was able to give them her full attention (she might have been working/with a friend/on a Netflix binge). I'd guess she didn't want you to think she was online and ignoring you but might have ducked in and out of Whatsapp to send the odd one-off message to someone.
I think you didn't understand it fully, there is no way she does it cuz of me because I, myself, have whatsapp last seen disabled, that means I can't see when someone was last time active and others can't see my last active too. I know about her last seen because a friend of mine told me.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#20
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#20
(Original post by SpongebobSwag)
Why do you worry? I mean what could be wrong? Especially if she's not doing it for you, i don't see the problem. This is not an indication of her cheating or whatever, do you think?

I used to do it sometimes too tbh. Just when i want some more time to think about my respons. Or when i want to hide that i didn't sleep all night. Could be for students i'm doing a group project with or people i have a difficult relationship with. For example people who always ask me things last minute. I disable last seen and message-read-confirmation, ignore them for an hour, and say that i didn't see whatsapp and it's too late now.

There are a lot of normal reasons why she could be doing it.
Yeah, but since she is not doing it for me, and since we talk pretty much all day (with breaks ofc) I think of the worst. Like, what if she is talking to another dude and they have some fights etc, or maybe they flirt etc? I know, I am being so ****ing paranoid right now and I want to kill myself for thinking all these but I can't help.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Are you travelling in the Uni student travel window (3-9 Dec) to go home for Christmas?

Yes (137)
28.48%
No - I have already returned home (65)
13.51%
No - I plan on travelling outside these dates (93)
19.33%
No - I'm staying at my term time address over Christmas (45)
9.36%
No - I live at home during term anyway (141)
29.31%

Watched Threads

View All
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise