I'm in love with my female teacher... any advice (I'm a girl)

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jzseal
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Okay I'm really nervous about this but here goes...

I'm desperately in love with my female teacher. It all started when I began coming to her for advice regarding some issues in her class, but it escalated to numerous discussions about my depression and mental state. We often spend hours after school or at lunchtimes talking together, and I know quite a lot about her personal life. I have no idea how this happened, but I just fell for her after that! She truly is the light of my world, and she makes me feel so safe and happy. Now, I am aware that this is not just admiration, I have sexual and romantic attraction towards her, as embarrassing as that is.

Despite spending so much time together, I know she sees me as a student who needs support and nothing more, and I also do not think she is aware of my feelings for her. Even if she were to have guessed, she knows me well enough how dependent I am on her, and she would know that I would never make any kind of advance towards her. I am not ignorant, I am painfully aware of the repercussions that an unprofessional relationship would have on both of us.

I am absolutely dreading spending the summer without contact with her, as I have no one else who makes me feel this way, and my family are not supportive of me. At the moment, I am dealing with my feelings by writing down my emotions in a diary, but with little success. Next year I will leave the school for good, so I need to start controlling myself. My entire world revolves around her and the next chance I will get to see her, if only in passing.

In short, my mental health is deteriorating and I could really do with some advice! Are feelings like these completely normal? I try so hard to be rational, but that is so hard for a teenager in love. Are there any further steps I should be taking to deal with my feelings?

Thanks in advance!
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blue900
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It's normal to like someone but if you think you don't have a chance with her then I would suggest to stop talking to her so you could move on.

The more you talk to her, the harder it will be for you to move on from her.

She could be happily married with children and is just being nice with you since teachers are trained to be professionals with students.
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Simone250900
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i would distance myself i get you really like her but until you leave school i wouldn't even think about it as you both could get into serious trouble, sorry
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Pantera Fan Club
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Uhh, restraint? Teachers can be just as hot as any other adult but you need to restrain your fantasies to your head. You are a teenager pumped full of hormones and I get that, but you need to bottle this up, I'm afraid.
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Tootles
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(Original post by jzseal)
Okay I'm really nervous about this but here goes...

I'm desperately in love with my female teacher. It all started when I began coming to her for advice regarding some issues in her class, but it escalated to numerous discussions about my depression and mental state. We often spend hours after school or at lunchtimes talking together, and I know quite a lot about her personal life. I have no idea how this happened, but I just fell for her after that! She truly is the light of my world, and she makes me feel so safe and happy. Now, I am aware that this is not just admiration, I have sexual and romantic attraction towards her, as embarrassing as that is.

Despite spending so much time together, I know she sees me as a student who needs support and nothing more, and I also do not think she is aware of my feelings for her. Even if she were to have guessed, she knows me well enough how dependent I am on her, and she would know that I would never make any kind of advance towards her. I am not ignorant, I am painfully aware of the repercussions that an unprofessional relationship would have on both of us.

I am absolutely dreading spending the summer without contact with her, as I have no one else who makes me feel this way, and my family are not supportive of me. At the moment, I am dealing with my feelings by writing down my emotions in a diary, but with little success. Next year I will leave the school for good, so I need to start controlling myself. My entire world revolves around her and the next chance I will get to see her, if only in passing.

In short, my mental health is deteriorating and I could really do with some advice! Are feelings like these completely normal? I try so hard to be rational, but that is so hard for a teenager in love. Are there any further steps I should be taking to deal with my feelings?

Thanks in advance!
Let's get rid of this illusion, once and for all: teenagers are obivous. She probably knows, but it's waaay more than her job is worth to admit it. Even if she was desperately in love with you, the merest hint of reciprocation could lose her her job and preclude her ever being able to go near a school again.
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username4163686
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I don't mean to sound insensitive, but it's a classic case of love sickness. We all had that heart-wrenching romantic melancholy at some point as a teenager, were we feel like holding a boombox outside their bedroom window as a symbol of our undying love. The truth is, when you get older you look back on those times and laugh.

It's easy to fall for someone who you get on with that seems caring and compassionate, but you always have to remember that it's only the surface of someone. There is a reason why relationships usually fold within six months to a year.

But you probably won't listen to me anyway. I never listened to my elders when I was a teenager, either.

You should consider put some distance between each other, and go out and do other things to preoccupy you mind.
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screamingicecube
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I'm gonna be frank

She's your teacher. Students shouldn't be having relationships with their teachers really that's outside the realm of teacher x student. I understand your dilemma. So here is my advice.

1) if you believe it's okay, you can think about your feelings for as long as you'll like. What you're feeling is normal, and sometimes it's just nice to have someone you like in your mind you can just think about.

However if you feel like this will mess with your mental health, try other methods. One thing you could do is be upfront with her about it and hopefully her professional stance as a teacher will let her calmly reject you and make it easier for you to move on. Or the other things people suggest like pay attention to a hobby or hang out with others.

2) or wait until you leave school and suggest to her if she'd like to keep contact, then make a move later on if you will. Make sure she swings your way first ofc tho. If you want to make sure there's a chance and slimmer chance you'll jeopardise the relationship you already have ofc.
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Anonymous #1
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go for it!!! life is too short not to live in its fullest!!
if i were you i’d be completely honest & say everything including what u just wrote here. “I know you’re my teacher but im only human” its a biological matter. so go for it.. you can move on if she rejects you. and if she doesn’t enjoy the relationship
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frostfly
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(Original post by jzseal)
Okay I'm really nervous about this but here goes...

I'm desperately in love with my female teacher. It all started when I began coming to her for advice regarding some issues in her class, but it escalated to numerous discussions about my depression and mental state. We often spend hours after school or at lunchtimes talking together, and I know quite a lot about her personal life. I have no idea how this happened, but I just fell for her after that! She truly is the light of my world, and she makes me feel so safe and happy. Now, I am aware that this is not just admiration, I have sexual and romantic attraction towards her, as embarrassing as that is.

Despite spending so much time together, I know she sees me as a student who needs support and nothing more, and I also do not think she is aware of my feelings for her. Even if she were to have guessed, she knows me well enough how dependent I am on her, and she would know that I would never make any kind of advance towards her. I am not ignorant, I am painfully aware of the repercussions that an unprofessional relationship would have on both of us.

I am absolutely dreading spending the summer without contact with her, as I have no one else who makes me feel this way, and my family are not supportive of me. At the moment, I am dealing with my feelings by writing down my emotions in a diary, but with little success. Next year I will leave the school for good, so I need to start controlling myself. My entire world revolves around her and the next chance I will get to see her, if only in passing.

In short, my mental health is deteriorating and I could really do with some advice! Are feelings like these completely normal? I try so hard to be rational, but that is so hard for a teenager in love. Are there any further steps I should be taking to deal with my feelings?

Thanks in advance!
Your teacher sounds like a really caring and sensitive person. However, you must remember that she is your teacher after all. You have to keep these feelings to yourself and make NO move on them whatsoever - but you already know this because you’re a smart girl.

Someday, you will find a partner you truly love and whom loves you equally. And when you find that person, I promise you that you will forget all the feelings you’ve had for your teacher.

Regarding your mental health, I would advise seeing a therapist when you leave school, if your parents aren’t the best people to talk to. Things WILL get better, OP. :cute:

All the best!
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Alandaw5
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Hey its fine I am a girl and I'm 15. I recently just came out as bisexual and I have a crush on my female social studies teacher. So I think pay attention to her, ask her questions, look at her some in her eyes, and try to spend some time with her.
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