Please could somebody help me??

Hi,please keep this anonymous...i'm writing cos i really have no idea who else to ask.

For the last couple of years I have been suffering from flashbacks and now am convinced that I was sexually abused as a child by my father.I've read some stuff on a few websites and was surprised to read that someone can repress the memories for a long time.

However the last few months i've been becoming ill from the stress of keeping it a secret...only one person knows and i no longer talk to her...i feel very depressed and at times suicidal and i feel it is my fault and that in some ways I'm a fraud because I'm only remembering it now.

There is a tutor at uni who has noticed that I haven't been myself the last few months and I feel as if I could trust her enough to tell her but I don't know how to say it.I could ask to talk to her after class but I have no idea how I would even begin to bring it up in a conversation.I'm over 18 so if I told this tutor would she have to tell anyone else?

Is there anyone out there who has maybe been through the same thing and has some ideas cos I really can't cope with this much longer.Please don't tell me just to call the Samaritans or something because I've tried and I just keep putting the phone down.

Thankyou for taking the time to read this and for any help.

Reply 1

Kabloomybuzz

Is there a counsellor at your college/uni that your tutor could reffer you to? Your Tutor is in no way bound by confidentiality and could therefore tell someone, this wouldn't be the case with a counsellor because the "flashbacks" aren't a definite indication that you were abused, just a possibility and it would probably be helpful to talk to somebody about stuff. This way, your counsellor will know there is a problem and know you are trying to do something about it and should be able to give you support through that

Reply 2

Somebody

Since you're over 18, there is no obligation to tell others (you are no longer a kid, so social services won't be involved).

As Kabloomybuzz said though, yur tutor may not be the best person to talk to.... uni counsellors are trained to deal with this kind of stuff...

However, you do need to trust the person you're talking to, and if the only person you feel you can trust is your tutor, tell her that there is something you would like to talk about, but you're scared of telling anyone. Perhaps see if she'll go to the counsellor with you so you have someone else you know there with you?

Do you have any younger brothers and sisters? Especially younger ones under 16 who are still at home? If so, you definatley need to tell someone ASAP for their protection...

Not sure what other advice I can give really...

*hugs*

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

I know where you're coming from, as I found out last year myself that I was sexually abused by my father and I wasn't well at the time as it was. I had obviously repressed the memories myself but I did have flashbacks when it came out. It's not your fault at all.

The best advice people gave to me was that I was strong and had obviously come through this and so I could beat it.

I'd talk to the tutor. I know it's not something easy to talk about but I just came out and said it as it was. I don't think she'd tell anyone, but she'd probably urge you to get counselling or speak to someone else. She might suggest that you contact social services if it hadn't been done before but it's up to you if you want to take the case further.

Reply 4

becki08

Do you have any younger siblings? They may have to say something if you do. By law if you're over 18 and don't have any younger siblings then they won't have to say anything but some schools policies differ. It's best to try and ask hypothetical questions to make sure first. It's good that you want to talk to someone and if you feel you can trust your tutor then I think you should. She'd let you know first if she did have to say something. I'm sorry you've had to go through this and hope things get better for you soon x

Reply 5

Mr. Ed

I'm not saying it didn't happen, but false memories are very easy to construct.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_memory_syndrome

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