Boyfriend out Drinking

Right I feel really psycho but every time my boyfriend goes out drinking with his mates I spend the whole night worrying about something bad happening to him / him getting really drunk or something and I end up just crying for hours and hours and I can’t sleep until he’s home which is usually like 3am or something stupid. I should probably add I have a bit of a fear of alcohol so the whole concept of drinking kinda scares me anyway.
Honestly it’s the worst feeling but I just want to know if anyone else gets like this because I feel so alone in this and I wanna know how anyone else deals with it. (I basically have no friends so I can’t just go out with them)

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Alcohol is pillaging our society.

Reply 2

Megannllxo

1

After seeing this post I feel totally relieved. I have struggled with anxiety and depression for years and I have the same problem. Mine is more to do with trust issues but I do worry that something with happen. And it is horrible, it makes you angry, upset and sad! I totally feel you! Best thing to do is sit down and explain it to him. Maybe try doing things to help you, reading, having a bath, meditation! Or even try speaking to someone like a counsellor. Don’t ever feel like your alone here because that’s one thing I did. There are millions of people that feel the exact same, and it’s ok to feel like that. No matter what anyone’s opinion is it’s ok to feel like this, don’t feel bad.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Megannllxo

After seeing this post I feel totally relieved. I have struggled with anxiety and depression for years and I have the same problem. Mine is more to do with trust issues but I do worry that something with happen. And it is horrible, it makes you angry, upset and sad! I totally feel you! Best thing to do is sit down and explain it to him. Maybe try doing things to help you, reading, having a bath, meditation! Or even try speaking to someone like a counsellor. Don’t ever feel like your alone here because that’s one thing I did. There are millions of people that feel the exact same, and it’s ok to feel like that. No matter what anyone’s opinion is it’s ok to feel like this, don’t feel bad.

Ah it’s so nice to see I’m not alone! Although of course I wouldn’t wish this upon anyone as it’s an awful feeling. I too have struggled with anxiety and depression for years now and I feel like this factor affects how upset I get about these things. I talk to him about it and he knows exactly how I feel but he goes out anyway. Then I probably spend the whole time making his night a misery being upset and messaging to check everything is ok. I honestly wish he just wouldn’t go out drinking without me being there so I wouldn’t have to go through this rigmarole but that would be selfish. Although he does know how it makes me feel so it annoys me sometimes that he still goes out even if he knows I’ve had a bad day. But yeah thank you very much this was a refreshing response to read. I always try watching movies and stuff to take my mind off it but usually end up in tears by 1AM anyway (like rn) which isn’t ideal.

Reply 4

username4173390

6

Original post by Anonymous

Alcohol is pillaging our society.

Someone's finally said it, so true

Reply 5

Clockrice

14

Original post by Anonymous

Right I feel really psycho but every time my boyfriend goes out drinking with his mates I spend the whole night worrying about something bad happening to him / him getting really drunk or something and I end up just crying for hours and hours and I can’t sleep until he’s home which is usually like 3am or something stupid. I should probably add I have a bit of a fear of alcohol so the whole concept of drinking kinda scares me anyway.
Honestly it’s the worst feeling but I just want to know if anyone else gets like this because I feel so alone in this and I wanna know how anyone else deals with it. (I basically have no friends so I can’t just go out with them)

You need to see a therapy and heal your own damage, if you are this dependent upon one person then that isn't healthy at all. Why do you stay with someone who goes out drinking, when they know you don't find that acceptable. You need to get psychological support.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

Alcohol is pillaging our society.

I mean I agree to an extent. I drink sometimes just to fit in but I’m scared of it’s affects. And I HATE being around people who are really drunk it makes me so anxious.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Clockrice

You need to see a therapy and heal your own damage, if you are this dependent upon one person then that isn't healthy at all. Why do you stay with someone who goes out drinking, when they know you don't find that acceptable. You need to get psychological support.

Trust me I know I need therapy I’m currently on a long waiting list. This person is my best friend and possibly my only real friend hence why I’m
so reliant. I do drink just to fit in (only the one on occasion) but I’m still scared of the substance of that makes any sense? So maybe he doesn’t know exactly how much alcohol bothers me but he definitely knows I get upset about it. But yeah I know I need support...

Reply 8

Clockrice

14

Original post by Anonymous

Trust me I know I need therapy I’m currently on a long waiting list. This person is my best friend and possibly my only real friend hence why I’m
so reliant. I do drink just to fit in (only the one on occasion) but I’m still scared of the substance of that makes any sense? So maybe he doesn’t know exactly how much alcohol bothers me but he definitely knows I get upset about it. But yeah I know I need support...

He isn't your best friend, he is an emotional facade you use to cover your own pain and internal conflict, which is why whenever he goes out or you think about him going away you break down and start crying, because you are then faced with your own internal damage. He doesn't matter, you matter. You best friend wouldn't leave you at night crying and terrified.

You can get free online therapy, you can ring around different therapists and see if they have a free appointment. My therapist does free appointments for people.

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

I mean I agree to an extent. I drink sometimes just to fit in but I’m scared of it’s affects. And I HATE being around people who are really drunk it makes me so anxious.

The burden alcohol puts on our NHS, particularly on weekends, the domestic violence, thuggery, anti-social behaviour - it is the most harmful drug we consume by far and this is backed by studies. It’s so difficult to tell society ‘drink responsibly’ because people are going to abuse that. Latest medical studies and advice has now said there is no ‘safe number of units’ and there’s a risk at every level.

Boyfriend out Drinking

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