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i just can't masturbate. i feel SO sexually frustrated

I just turned 18, I'm a girl and a virgin. I've never been in a relationship and never done anything sexual at all. heck I've barely even spoken to a guy before, I come from a very strict background and I believe that this upbringing partially contributes to me feeling so repressed.

i feel so so so horny and it's just so intense. when i start to feel horny I'll feel horny for hours and it's almost physically painful and feels sore because everything is constantly throbbing . i watch porn sometimes but my own imagination gets me off even more and i prefer my imagination. another thing, when i get horny i ALWAYS feel my eyes watering up and I feel like I'm going to cry. I think this is because I crave sexual intimacy, particularly with someone I love, so deeply (i always fantasise about having sex with a future boyfriend or something and it gets me so so horny, maybe this is also because I've been quite lonely my entire life).

the only issue is, I really, really can't relieve myself because I don't know how. and yes i do my best to keep myself distracted but there are inevitably times where i do end up feeling horny and then the same scenario as above holds true.

i feel really quite embarrassed that I'm 18, an adult, but i don't know how to masturbate. I've been trying to masturbate since I was 14 (though admittedly the first time i ever felt turned on wasn't until 15) but I'm still not sure how. nothing I do will feel pleasurable.

i literally just don't know what to do. I'm so sick and tired of this. even as I currently write this, it's 6am and I haven't slept all night because I'm just so sexually frustrated. I don't understand why I can't masturbate properly. anytime i touch myself it just doesn't feel
pleasurable at all even though I'm turned on. I feel like a lot of sexual gratification for me is mental as opposed to me touching myself.

i really really really want a vibrator too (probably not a dildo because I can't imagine that feeling comfortable) but, strict parents, i don't even know how I'd buy and hide one (although I will hopefully be going to uni soon and will definitely be buying a vibrator then). i also wouldn't lose my virginity to anyone i didn't love and feel comfortable with, so that's off the table too.

i just really don't know what to do :frown: and I would really appreciate some advice. I feel like not knowing how to masturbate is having such a toll on me. thank you

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When you say strict background, what exactly?

I feel really really frustrated too, though I do not have the same problem as you as a guy, but I shouldn't really do anything before marriage due to my background
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
When you say strict background, what exactly?

I feel really really frustrated too, though I do not have the same problem as you as a guy, but I shouldn't really do anything before marriage due to my background


due to my background, I really shouldn't have sex before marriage too! my background is Indian. my parents would kill me if they found out.

in terms of strict upbringing, I'm not allowed to talk to boys, wasn't even allowed to wear shorts in the hot weather (of decent length) despite being 18 and, when I was 16, my dad saw one of my friends talking to a guy and he made me stop being friends with her. that pretty much sums it up
Original post by Anonymous
due to my background, I really shouldn't have sex before marriage too! my background is Indian. my parents would kill me if they found out.

in terms of strict upbringing, I'm not allowed to talk to boys, wasn't even allowed to wear shorts in the hot weather (of decent length) despite being 18 and, when I was 16, my dad saw one of my friends talking to a guy and he made me stop being friends with her. that pretty much sums it up


Same as me! I'd probs get disowned if I have sex and they find out. Some people say men can get away with anything but not in my family lulz

About your original question, I dunno what to advise tbh. The tempting answer is to say 'you don't need to masturbate if you let a guy get you off' and it is even more tempting to volunteer as tribute lool but otherwise all you can do is try other things like use lube or somethin to reduce the pain when you touch it or put things in it
First you need a space where you are comfortable and will not be disturbed. There are many things you can try for mastrabating: toys, mirrors, positions, clothing, audio... (For me, i find that a clitoral stimulator helps me mastrabate.) But it's most important that you feel comfortable and sexy. 😄 And if one thing kinda works for you but isn't quite enough for you, you can always add to it. 😉
(edited 4 years ago)
You could look up videos of women masturbating and you can try to do the same. I'm tallking about those home videos amateurs make, not those with porn stars. Relax, and focus on the feeling alone. You could start from here, and then you can figure out what you like. I'm sure it's more of a mental problem than a physical one so be patient with yourself and know you will get there. You're very young so you have all the time in the world to get to know your body.
I'm getting the same feeling too I don't blame you
I know your feeling I'm going through the same persition.. And I'm only 16
Get a boyfriend secretly at uni😂😂
Reply 9
Damn you making me horny when you said it’s sore from everything throbbing so much 😆seriously though you really need to relieve yourself.
I don’t know if it’s the same for girls but as a male if I didn’t masturbate even for just 2 weeks at 16-18 years old I would be ready to explode.
It’s best you learn how to masturbate otherwise you will just be too distracted all the time.
I’d buy something that makes you feel good and do it somewhere you feel comfortable when your family is asleep. Maybe eat some aphrodisiac food and use fragrance free moisturiser as lube. Trim your nails and watch or even listen to porn. And try stimulating your clitorus maybe if it feels to sensitive rub it with your labia surrounding it (this is what I do). And try a combination of putting your fingers in your vag touching your g spot and then back to your clit. (This is really graphic I know but I understand your pain and want to help you) and I’d keep going at it until you feel some kind of pleasure and I’m sure you’ll be happy from there. Maybe even sexting with a stranger anonymously might give you what you need. I’ll pray for you gurl!
Maybe try drinking some wine or alcohol just enough to feel relaxed but not enough for your parent’s to notice.
Honestly i was exactly the same. I got a vibrator and it changed my life lmao. Get one as soon as you leave for uni - you won’t regret it at all.
I think buying a vibrator, would really help you.
Normally when you order they come in plain wrappings, so your parents would probably not even know what it is. Good luck. Xx
Original post by Scooby14doo
My private part is 6 inches long and I can definitely turn you on and I can also lick your vagina

Good for you. Not interested. Try a different site, more appropriate to your needs!!!!
Original post by Anonymous
I just turned 18, I'm a girl and a virgin.


All the guys here.

Reply 16
Original post by Anonymous
I just turned 18, I'm a girl and a virgin. I've never been in a relationship and never done anything sexual at all. heck I've barely even spoken to a guy before, I come from a very strict background and I believe that this upbringing partially contributes to me feeling so repressed.

i feel so so so horny and it's just so intense. when i start to feel horny I'll feel horny for hours and it's almost physically painful and feels sore because everything is constantly throbbing . i watch porn sometimes but my own imagination gets me off even more and i prefer my imagination. another thing, when i get horny i ALWAYS feel my eyes watering up and I feel like I'm going to cry. I think this is because I crave sexual intimacy, particularly with someone I love, so deeply (i always fantasise about having sex with a future boyfriend or something and it gets me so so horny, maybe this is also because I've been quite lonely my entire life).

the only issue is, I really, really can't relieve myself because I don't know how. and yes i do my best to keep myself distracted but there are inevitably times where i do end up feeling horny and then the same scenario as above holds true.

i feel really quite embarrassed that I'm 18, an adult, but i don't know how to masturbate. I've been trying to masturbate since I was 14 (though admittedly the first time i ever felt turned on wasn't until 15) but I'm still not sure how. nothing I do will feel pleasurable.

i literally just don't know what to do. I'm so sick and tired of this. even as I currently write this, it's 6am and I haven't slept all night because I'm just so sexually frustrated. I don't understand why I can't masturbate properly. anytime i touch myself it just doesn't feel
pleasurable at all even though I'm turned on. I feel like a lot of sexual gratification for me is mental as opposed to me touching myself.

i really really really want a vibrator too (probably not a dildo because I can't imagine that feeling comfortable) but, strict parents, i don't even know how I'd buy and hide one (although I will hopefully be going to uni soon and will definitely be buying a vibrator then). i also wouldn't lose my virginity to anyone i didn't love and feel comfortable with, so that's off the table too.

i just really don't know what to do :frown: and I would really appreciate some advice. I feel like not knowing how to masturbate is having such a toll on me. thank you


Pm me noww
Thread’s over a year old, people. Please READ date of OP before bumping
Original post by Scooby14doo
Do you want to be my girlfriend

You haven't got a scooby doo chance of going out with me, is that clear enough!!!!
Reply 19
I wonder if OP is finally able to satisfy herself

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