Sexually unfulfilled :(

i’m 18, my boyfriend is a year older than me and we have been dating for 7 months. we love each other and i do adore him, but we argue a lot. usually it stems from stupid things that don’t really matter, but it’s the fact we argue that makes it a problem.

something that we argue about most commonly is how easily annoyed and agitated i can get. it’s something i find really hard to control but he doesn’t understand it as he is a very calm person (i’ve had anger problems since i was a child).

The most common reason as to why i get so angry and agitated is because my sex drive is quite high. when i was with my ex, we would have sex 7-10 times a day (which seems too much to me now), but my current boyfriends sex drive is unbelievably low. now, i’m lucky if we have sex once a day. it’s gotten to the point where i have to plead with him to have sex and ask, rather than just let it happen naturally. When he says he’s not in the mood, it drives me insane, because he’s never in the mood. And then i feel as if i’m pressuring him into sex, which i obviously don’t want to do, but it’s inevitable that he might feel that way.

I don’t want to leave him, but i really can’t go on like this. i know sex shouldn’t be a big thing in a relationship, but as someone with a pretty high sex drive, it makes me go a little insane when i don’t have it for weeks. i really don’t want him to feel pressured into sex and i don’t want him thinking i’m being manipulating, but it’s really hard for it not to come across that way.

What should i do? or say to him?

Reply 1

Amy06

10

Honestly it sounds like you should break it off.

You have a high sex drive and your boyfriend does not, having to pleade
or beg for sex is not healthy in a relationship and your boyfriend may feel pressured.

If your sex drive is high for the sake of it and not for other reasons then you are both not compatible and you need to either accept less sex in your life or move on to someone else

Reply 2

username3941996

22

Original post by Anonymous

i’m 18, my boyfriend is a year older than me and we have been dating for 7 months. we love each other and i do adore him, but we argue a lot. usually it stems from stupid things that don’t really matter, but it’s the fact we argue that makes it a problem.

something that we argue about most commonly is how easily annoyed and agitated i can get. it’s something i find really hard to control but he doesn’t understand it as he is a very calm person (i’ve had anger problems since i was a child).

The most common reason as to why i get so angry and agitated is because my sex drive is quite high. when i was with my ex, we would have sex 7-10 times a day (which seems too much to me now), but my current boyfriends sex drive is unbelievably low. now, i’m lucky if we have sex once a day. it’s gotten to the point where i have to plead with him to have sex and ask, rather than just let it happen naturally. When he says he’s not in the mood, it drives me insane, because he’s never in the mood. And then i feel as if i’m pressuring him into sex, which i obviously don’t want to do, but it’s inevitable that he might feel that way.

I don’t want to leave him, but i really can’t go on like this. i know sex shouldn’t be a big thing in a relationship, but as someone with a pretty high sex drive, it makes me go a little insane when i don’t have it for weeks. i really don’t want him to feel pressured into sex and i don’t want him thinking i’m being manipulating, but it’s really hard for it not to come across that way.

What should i do? or say to him?

Maybe it’s best if you and him have a break. It looks like your relationship will never be truly fixed so breaking up is the only solution

Reply 3

username3131472

17

having a high sex drive can be to do with your hormones i would speak to the gp as this could possibly have an overall effect on you r mood and therefore your relationship

Reply 4

Drewski

19

There's am imbalance there that's not great for either of you.

Breaking it off is drastic, but unless you can work something out to solve it, it's the only real avenue

Reply 5

0g3

1

Original post by Anonymous

i’m 18, my boyfriend is a year older than me and we have been dating for 7 months. we love each other and i do adore him, but we argue a lot. usually it stems from stupid things that don’t really matter, but it’s the fact we argue that makes it a problem.

something that we argue about most commonly is how easily annoyed and agitated i can get. it’s something i find really hard to control but he doesn’t understand it as he is a very calm person (i’ve had anger problems since i was a child).

The most common reason as to why i get so angry and agitated is because my sex drive is quite high. when i was with my ex, we would have sex 7-10 times a day (which seems too much to me now), but my current boyfriends sex drive is unbelievably low. now, i’m lucky if we have sex once a day. it’s gotten to the point where i have to plead with him to have sex and ask, rather than just let it happen naturally. When he says he’s not in the mood, it drives me insane, because he’s never in the mood. And then i feel as if i’m pressuring him into sex, which i obviously don’t want to do, but it’s inevitable that he might feel that way.

I don’t want to leave him, but i really can’t go on like this. i know sex shouldn’t be a big thing in a relationship, but as someone with a pretty high sex drive, it makes me go a little insane when i don’t have it for weeks. i really don’t want him to feel pressured into sex and i don’t want him thinking i’m being manipulating, but it’s really hard for it not to come across that way.

What should i do? or say to him?

From 7-10 times daily to begging to have it at least once a day, that's from grace to grass. You need to leave him fast. its for his own benefit if you guys split.
You are a Lewis Hamilton attempting to drive a ford ka same way you would a race car on a race course.

I hope you are trained in CPR cos you might need that skills before the paramedic arrive to resuscitate him when it happens.

Leave him alone before you commit murder/man-sexslaughter.

Reply 6

JTfoxlove

12

Have you talked to a doctor/psychologist about your anger/emotional issues? I'd try to get in treatment for that as it will harm all of your relationships until you can address it.

As for sex - it sounds like you have very different sex drives. Relationships are about compromises so ideally you see to some of your needs and he actively tries to up his sex drive a little. This said no one should feel pressured into sex or feel unloved or ignored in a relationship. It really depends on how you both feel and your ability to communicate.

A relationship with lots of arguments doesn't sound stable, throw in compatibility issues and you may both just be wasting your time. I'd sit down and have a big chat.

Reply 7

Bio 7

21

Doesn't sound like you are compatible there, and is affecting your relationship too much. You will probably jave to break it off for both your sakes.

Original post by Anonymous

ix

Don't break it off yet. Have you talked to him about it? Maybe its not that he has a low sex drive but maybe an insecurity or issue about intimacy? If so you could see a sex therapist to help him? \

Just ask him why he doesn't want to or pulls away. Just be open and honest. Maybe do it when you are both comfortable. I.e when youre snuggling or something just tell him you want to ask him something, and ask him why he does and if there is anything wrong?

Its good you don't to pressure him into it but as i Said I wouldn't break it off straight away.