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Ex broke up because we weren’t in the same place, now Im going there :3

So basically I was dating this guy at school and we started dating the last few months and everything was going good, he would also talk to me often. He was really rooting for us to end up in the same city for university but obviously that wasn’t a huge possibility and I am going somewhere else.
Just a while ago I met him and he was acting normally but the next day he sends me this long paragraph about how much he hates distance and blah blah blah and how he has to break up. But NOW there IS a VERY HIGH possibility of me going to the SAME city as him, because education is much more affordable there, but it’s not what I want. Only reason I’m accepting it is because it’s easier for my mom and she wants me to go there.
Me and him are still good friends and we talk but idk if I should let him know about this because he’s probably gonna change the way he talks to me, and get his hopes high again and honestly I don’t know how I would react to him reacting either :3

SOO SHOULD I TELL HIM OR NOT?
Original post by Anonymous
So basically I was dating this guy at school and we started dating the last few months and everything was going good, he would also talk to me often. He was really rooting for us to end up in the same city for university but obviously that wasn’t a huge possibility and I am going somewhere else.
Just a while ago I met him and he was acting normally but the next day he sends me this long paragraph about how much he hates distance and blah blah blah and how he has to break up. But NOW there IS a VERY HIGH possibility of me going to the SAME city as him, because education is much more affordable there, but it’s not what I want. Only reason I’m accepting it is because it’s easier for my mom and she wants me to go there.
Me and him are still good friends and we talk but idk if I should let him know about this because he’s probably gonna change the way he talks to me, and get his hopes high again and honestly I don’t know how I would react to him reacting either :3

SOO SHOULD I TELL HIM OR NOT?


No. You deserve the chance to meet someone else.
Reply 2
Original post by Kevin De Bruyne
No. You deserve the chance to meet someone else.


Yess, I agree with that. I just don’t want him to blame me in the end for not telling him when we end up in the same place because he was serious about me however that only depended on us in the same place
Original post by Anonymous
Yess, I agree with that. I just don’t want him to blame me in the end for not telling him when we end up in the same place because he was serious about me however that only depended on us in the same place


Then he wasn't serious enough

If the population of your uni is large enough and you don't do the same course then you can avoid him easily.
Honestly, tell him but don’t get into a relationship again. If he leaves you once that’s fine, but to me it seems that he lacks commitment in relationships. You can do so much better than that. If you have to deal with a long distance relationship in the future when your married to this guy, will he divorce you? Maybe he will mature, I don’t know. Though I would definitely keep him in the friend zone for a while.
Original post by Anonymous
So basically I was dating this guy at school and we started dating the last few months and everything was going good, he would also talk to me often. He was really rooting for us to end up in the same city for university but obviously that wasn’t a huge possibility and I am going somewhere else.
Just a while ago I met him and he was acting normally but the next day he sends me this long paragraph about how much he hates distance and blah blah blah and how he has to break up. But NOW there IS a VERY HIGH possibility of me going to the SAME city as him, because education is much more affordable there, but it’s not what I want. Only reason I’m accepting it is because it’s easier for my mom and she wants me to go there.
Me and him are still good friends and we talk but idk if I should let him know about this because he’s probably gonna change the way he talks to me, and get his hopes high again and honestly I don’t know how I would react to him reacting either :3

SOO SHOULD I TELL HIM OR NOT?



He sounds a waste. Any luck you might not meet him again and you will meet someone else
He will be especially keen if he hasnt managed to get a gf. I would move on. Backward step to get back with him.
Reply 6
Original post by ThatBlonde
Honestly, tell him but don’t get into a relationship again. If he leaves you once that’s fine, but to me it seems that he lacks commitment in relationships. You can do so much better than that. If you have to deal with a long distance relationship in the future when your married to this guy, will he divorce you? Maybe he will mature, I don’t know. Though I would definitely keep him in the friend zone for a while.



Exactly, and I don’t want to get into anything with him any soon, and what you said about the marriage is why I thought too : ). I’ll definitely stay just friends with him, and I’ll tell him when it’s confirmed.
Thank you:smile:)
Reply 7
Original post by 999tigger
He sounds a waste. Any luck you might not meet him again and you will meet someone else
He will be especially keen if he hasnt managed to get a gf. I would move on. Backward step to get back with him.



Yes, that’s true. He will be very keen; and I have moved on for real, just this aspect of being in the same place is a bit shaky.
Original post by Anonymous
Yes, that’s true. He will be very keen; and I have moved on for real, just this aspect of being in the same place is a bit shaky.


If you analyse his behaviour is it selfish and it shows he is only interested if you are convenient and on tap. Even if true the excuse shows his interest is more for convenience. the likelihood of bumping into him all the time is slight as you will develop different friends plus have different lectures and there are tens of thousands. Just smile, but find someone else to date. he is more interested in his convenience and not you. There are tens of thousands of students at uni or in a city.

You address the fear by reminding yourself of the fact he ended it and you have moved on. No need to freak when you see him just acknowledge and move on.
Folk seem a bit surprised that a school boy lacks maturity and relationship commitment? :redface:

I wouldn't worry about it, uni = big and everyone's got their own stuff to do. If you're still friends with him and want to remain so it likely makes sense to tell him at SOME point, just be ready to throw a little mental cold water on him if needed'

'So are we back...?

'No, you broke up with me and I've put that behind me'

'But since you're he-'

'No'
Reply 10
Why not tell him where you are while making clear that nothing will happen, romantically at least? It's better than moving there and then running into him in the local Tescos lol
Original post by Anonymous
Yes, that’s true. He will be very keen; and I have moved on for real, just this aspect of being in the same place is a bit shaky.


My friend coincidentally ended up going to the same Uni that her ex was already a student at. She didn't even run into him for about 6 months. Now she's been here for 2 years and I think they've seen each other once more since then? So it hasn't been a problem, and she's in a relationship with this really great guy now. So, judging from her experience, I don't think this will hold you back at all. I hope you have a great time at Uni :smile:
Original post by StriderHort
Folk seem a bit surprised that a school boy lacks maturity and relationship commitment? :redface:

I wouldn't worry about it, uni = big and everyone's got their own stuff to do. If you're still friends with him and want to remain so it likely makes sense to tell him at SOME point, just be ready to throw a little mental cold water on him if needed'

'So are we back...?

'No, you broke up with me and I've put that behind me'

'But since you're he-'

'No'



If this actually happened I would mentally congratulate myself because this is perfect in every sense. I don’t want him back in any way but I will tell him at some point, just not now.

And plus I didn’t really expect him to stay irrespective of the things he said to me about staying and all the other sh¡t that comes with it, when I knew after a week of not seeing him that this is just not gonna last at all, but boy did he have his hopes up wayyyyyyy too high.
if you wish to restore the relationship yes

if not then it might be better not to

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