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Why can't my boyfriend come when penetrating me??

Let me give you some context. I started dating this guy a couple of months ago and after a month we had sex for the first time. It was also my first time ever having sex. I was a 25 years old virgin.

I am a very reserved person and I’ve never had a huge social life until recently, so I’ve never had the chance to actually meet a guy I was interested in. I’ve been told by friends that I can come across as unapproachable and intimidating, but thats only a sort of protection that I put on to hide my shyness. I’ve also always been told I am quite attractive so I thought that boys would just come to me without having to do any work (this way I attracted the wrong type of men, only interested in looks).

This guy is very nice and caring and I was very excited at the idea of having sex with him, and not nervous about it being my first time, pain and stuff like that, because I really wanted to do it and felt very ready.

I felt a little embarrassed to be still a virgin at 25 though, so I decided not to tell him. I thought he wouldn’t notice: I am a gymnast so my hymen was very likely already broken by doing all types of jumps, stretching and splits; also, while masturbating I have put there objects larger than the average penis and I have a very high pain threshold.

I was very aroused when we did it and I didn’t feel any pain; I didn’t come only by penetration but still it was very enjoyable for me. I noticed he had some difficulties in sticking it in though, and in getting the rhythm going. He went on for what felt like a reasonable amount of time but he didn’t come.
I thought it was normal due to me being a virgin and probably pretty tight. We did it another time and again I enjoyed it but he didn’t come.
I didn’t question him about it but after we did it he told me that he “isn’t used” to condoms and that’s why he couldn’t come. I had given him a blow job without condom before and he told me I was good at it but he didn’t know why he couldn’t come. Both of the times I blamed it on the situation we were in: laying down on a field at night close to some itchy hay isn’t the most comfortable or relaxing (I found it pretty exciting, though).

I found out later that the best way to make him come is by using both my hands and mouth, but I feel like he takes a very long time to come and while I do it I am always afraid that I am not good enough and that he won’t come at all. I don’t mind spending a lot of time on him because I really want to please him, but I wonder if it’s normal that he takes so long, and it makes me very insecure because sometimes it happens that he doesn’t even come with blowjobs.

Also I think that using lube to masturbate him would be better for both of us but I am afraid that he thinks that I am not good enough on my own. I feel like spit isn’t enough and once he told me I was hurting him and I don’t ever want that to happen again.

We went away together for a weekend and we spent a lot of time in bed and it was amazing. He says he loves being with me, touching me and making me come. I come almost every time, but even when I don’t I don’t care because I love to feel him inside me and he can go for a very long time, which I know it’s rare.

The fact that he doesn’t come with penetration really frustrates me though. Shouldn’t orgasm be much easier for men than for women???

I’m starting to wonder if maybe I’m not attractive or sexy enough, even if I am confident in my body. I really want to keep on having sex with him but I feel like maybe there’s something wrong with me? Maybe my body just doesn’t turn him on enough?

He keeps on telling me how good I am and once he told me I gave him the most amazing orgasm of his life but I don’t know whether to believe him. Maybe he says so just to not make me feel bad about the penetration thing.

I don’t know how to approach the issue with him because I am afraid it could put even more pressure on him. Should I try to talk to him about it or should I wait?
I read some articles about delayed ejaculation and probably it could be it. He also drinks heavily sometimes and occasionally smokes weed. That maybe could play a part?

If someone has experienced something like this please tell me because I really want to please him and I’m starting to feel terrible about this situation! I adore having sex with him but I feel like this issue will give us a lot of anxiety and pressure and eventually spoil everything.

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Don't know if troll or not but ngl popped a semi
You shouldn’t be afraid to talk to him about it if you’re really concerned, but you should never feel like you’re not good enough. Everyone is different, and sex follows that rule vehemently, so not everyone comes in the same circumstances. Try to learn what he enjoys most, that’s more important. Ask him what he wants and what he likes! If he’s right for you he’ll be happy to share his desires.
Yo pussy be loose like a goose.
he may not be into u.
Reply 5
Try another d.1ck but make sure you're not cheating on him

Spoiler

(edited 5 years ago)
Reply 6
Original post by Marian_4
He also drinks heavily sometimes and occasionally smokes weed. That maybe could play a part?


That's your answer.
You sticking actual eggplants up there or what?

It's more like his problem rather than something wrong with you. No way this little decorator isn't repainting those sugar walls condom or no condom.
(edited 5 years ago)
you're a well down there
Original post by It's****ingWOODY
Yo pussy be loose like a goose.


For real though, no way gooses are loose.
Original post by So Instinct
For real though, no way gooses are loose.


It must be true, it rhymes :dontknow:
This will not be about you.

1. Most likely he's getting stage fright and is struggling enough to relax and reach climax. Work on intimacy and lowering the pressure. Communicate, he's not a machine and is probably overthinking it - chances are this has been his experience with all partners.
2. Alcohol and drugs can impact both female and male sexual performance.
3. Condoms can impact the level of sensitivity a guy can feel - though if he's also struggling to reach climax from you touching his penis and oral sex - then this isn't the most likely culprit.
(edited 5 years ago)
Original post by It's****ingWOODY
Yo pussy be loose like a goose.


why say something so mean which will just destroy her confidence more. she said he takes a long time when she tries other ways as well, so it seems it really is him who has the issue.
Reply 13
Death grip syndrome perhaps? He's gotta cut down on the jerking off then.
Original post by It's****ingWOODY
Yo pussy be loose like a goose.


Lol. A suitable vibe in the pooper shooter usually provides some pressure when Mr Wobbly hides his helmet.

Gagging the goose is less violent than choking the chicken.
(edited 5 years ago)
Original post by It's****ingWOODY
Yo pussy be loose like a goose.


This poetry brought a tear to my eye:u:
Original post by Marian_4
Let me give you some context. I started dating this guy a couple of months ago and after a month we had sex for the first time. It was also my first time ever having sex. I was a 25 years old virgin.

I am a very reserved person and I’ve never had a huge social life until recently, so I’ve never had the chance to actually meet a guy I was interested in. I’ve been told by friends that I can come across as unapproachable and intimidating, but thats only a sort of protection that I put on to hide my shyness. I’ve also always been told I am quite attractive so I thought that boys would just come to me without having to do any work (this way I attracted the wrong type of men, only interested in looks).

This guy is very nice and caring and I was very excited at the idea of having sex with him, and not nervous about it being my first time, pain and stuff like that, because I really wanted to do it and felt very ready.

I felt a little embarrassed to be still a virgin at 25 though, so I decided not to tell him. I thought he wouldn’t notice: I am a gymnast so my hymen was very likely already broken by doing all types of jumps, stretching and splits; also, while masturbating I have put there objects larger than the average penis and I have a very high pain threshold.

I was very aroused when we did it and I didn’t feel any pain; I didn’t come only by penetration but still it was very enjoyable for me. I noticed he had some difficulties in sticking it in though, and in getting the rhythm going. He went on for what felt like a reasonable amount of time but he didn’t come.
I thought it was normal due to me being a virgin and probably pretty tight. We did it another time and again I enjoyed it but he didn’t come.
I didn’t question him about it but after we did it he told me that he “isn’t used” to condoms and that’s why he couldn’t come. I had given him a blow job without condom before and he told me I was good at it but he didn’t know why he couldn’t come. Both of the times I blamed it on the situation we were in: laying down on a field at night close to some itchy hay isn’t the most comfortable or relaxing (I found it pretty exciting, though).

I found out later that the best way to make him come is by using both my hands and mouth, but I feel like he takes a very long time to come and while I do it I am always afraid that I am not good enough and that he won’t come at all. I don’t mind spending a lot of time on him because I really want to please him, but I wonder if it’s normal that he takes so long, and it makes me very insecure because sometimes it happens that he doesn’t even come with blowjobs.

Also I think that using lube to masturbate him would be better for both of us but I am afraid that he thinks that I am not good enough on my own. I feel like spit isn’t enough and once he told me I was hurting him and I don’t ever want that to happen again.

We went away together for a weekend and we spent a lot of time in bed and it was amazing. He says he loves being with me, touching me and making me come. I come almost every time, but even when I don’t I don’t care because I love to feel him inside me and he can go for a very long time, which I know it’s rare.

The fact that he doesn’t come with penetration really frustrates me though. Shouldn’t orgasm be much easier for men than for women???

I’m starting to wonder if maybe I’m not attractive or sexy enough, even if I am confident in my body. I really want to keep on having sex with him but I feel like maybe there’s something wrong with me? Maybe my body just doesn’t turn him on enough?

He keeps on telling me how good I am and once he told me I gave him the most amazing orgasm of his life but I don’t know whether to believe him. Maybe he says so just to not make me feel bad about the penetration thing.

I don’t know how to approach the issue with him because I am afraid it could put even more pressure on him. Should I try to talk to him about it or should I wait?
I read some articles about delayed ejaculation and probably it could be it. He also drinks heavily sometimes and occasionally smokes weed. That maybe could play a part?

If someone has experienced something like this please tell me because I really want to please him and I’m starting to feel terrible about this situation! I adore having sex with him but I feel like this issue will give us a lot of anxiety and pressure and eventually spoil everything.


he may have a problem with his sperm ducts meaning he can't produce sperm... happens often
Reply 17
Original post by So Instinct

No way this little decorator isn't repainting those sugar walls condom or no condom.


What do you mean?
Reply 18
Try get him to stop masturbation for couple of days and see how that works out. I have noticed with myself when i don't release for couple of days my big sausage becomes very sensitive and ready to release at any given moment.
Original post by Marian_4
What do you mean?


well the literal transaltion would be that given the chance he would def spray it all up in you...(sorry)

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