The Student Room Group

why does my mum hate me?

basically i have a love/hate relationship with my mum. one day she can be really nice to me and we get on really well and then other days its like she absolutely hates me and picks on every tiny thing that i do wrong.

like yesterday we were fine and went shopping together but then today she just starting having a go at me for not going out with my friends as i'm at uni and have just returned for easter. then she asked me if i was going to my cousins birthday with her friends and i said no because i don't know her friends and would feel quite uncomfortable and in the way if i went. mum thinks i'm just making excuses. i admit that i'm not a very outgoing person and my self esteem is quite low, but her being like this is not helping. she even once said to me that i was embarassing and i was fat and should lose weight. i have PCOS which means i have a lot of excess hair on my body/face. this has also not helped my self esteem.

i told her to shut up once and she realy shouted at me and said 'don't ever say that to me again! you do nothing for this family how dare you tell me to shut up!'
i don't no how she can say that as i help whenever i can, i help in the kitchen, i help my dad with some of his business work as he is self employed, aswell as doing my own uni work. actually when she was shouting at me about not doing anything for the family i was just doing something to help out my dad! argh!!! sorry i just needed a rant. i feel that she compares me to everyone else, especially my cousins. does anyone else have this problem?
sorry for the long post.
Reply 1
I've been told I can't troll anymore so I won't.
Reply 2
sounds like she's slightly unhappy with herself if she has to pick on you all the time.

we make people feel worse than us, so we feel better about ourselves.

sucks, but happens so much.

your still her daughter regardless and i'm sure she remembers that!
I have quite a difficult relationship with my mum too.
I'm sure your mum doesnt hate you, she probably finds it difficult to accept that you are growing up and that she doesnt have much control over you any more.
Don't listen to her hurtful comments, she is obviously just trying to be spiteful in order to get a reaction from you.

Try and think about the times when your mum has been good to you, I'm sure deep down you know that she probably loves you very much.
Reply 4
Yes. Lots of other people have this problem, ash I'm afraid I'm one of them. I'm not sure how I can help, I'm actually just going to let it out and see if it's any consolation for you.

For some reason my mum holds
---e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g--- against me. I don't know why it's really mean. I know what you mean- one minute she's my favourite person and the next I want to kill myself because of how she makes me feel. My self-esteem is practically non existent but she just tells me to toughen up. She has this obsession with other people's children like she can't be happy with my brother and I. And to make it worse if I try to talk to him she does what a jealous little kid would do- she makes sure he's too busy for me to speak to him and then is super sweet to him as if to rub it in my face. I don't have a heck why she thinks I believe her when she tells me I'm so 'precious'. I may be the youngest in the family, but I seem to be the smartest.
I know how u feel cos my mum hatess me to and is horrible.. at laest im not the only one