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Girlfriend broke up with me?

Hello everyone!



I’m a 19 y/o male who has been recently broken up with by my girlfriend.



Let me give some backstory:



Well we’ve been together for about 8 months, met each other at uni and we live in the same accommodation (not same flat) but during this period we would often see each other everyday and spend a lot of time together because it was what made us both happy. I would say within the last month or so, we started to have a few heated arguments over the pettiest things. Last night, we was sleeping separately (due to her finishing work late) and she messaged me saying if she could come over because she felt sad. I told her to come over and she eventually started crying and was telling me about how unhappy she’s been recently.



I went home for about 2 weeks whilst she was still at uni accommodation and I thought it was all fine, until last night she told me that she cut herself a little bit whilst I was gone and I’m guessing that’s when she stated she was feeling miserable with everything. I comforted her and she has never done anything like this before, she hasn’t been diagnosed with depression or anything previously as she always spoke about how good her childhood was.



She said to me that she isn’t happy in general and that makes her unhappy in the relationship with me, but she constantly kept saying it wasn’t my fault and it was her. I was just really confused as to where this came from because we was doing amazing and was always having a good time together?



She was saying stuff like she doesn’t think she’s a relationship type of person and stuff, and that she has commitment issues. I do feel like it’s my fault and all the small things I’ve done have just built up and she’s tired of dealing with it anymore. I did agree and above all I want her to be happy and if that means that she’s not in a relationship with me then and that’s what happened.



Today, we spoke a bit more about it and thought we’d give it another go after me trying to fight for her. Later on the afternoon she just felt like having another go at this relationship right now wasn’t a good idea. At this time, she was saying stuff like I just need a break and some me time etc... and I was upset but I didn’t want to be anymore selfish but at the same time she was saying that a relationship just isn’t for her right now and she did confirm she’s breaking up with me but still wants to be best friends with me.



I don’t know what to do at this point because I was heartbroken but I want her to be happy with herself above anything else. What does it mean, when she’s saying she wants a break and then breaking up with me?



Am I supposed to wait or am I expected to move on and we just be friends? I’m just genuinely upset that this has happened and it’s been painful.



Any takes?



Thanks!
Cool story bro.
WTF.
Original post by Anonymous
Hello everyone!



I’m a 19 y/o male who has been recently broken up with by my girlfriend.



Let me give some backstory:



Well we’ve been together for about 8 months, met each other at uni and we live in the same accommodation (not same flat) but during this period we would often see each other everyday and spend a lot of time together because it was what made us both happy. I would say within the last month or so, we started to have a few heated arguments over the pettiest things. Last night, we was sleeping separately (due to her finishing work late) and she messaged me saying if she could come over because she felt sad. I told her to come over and she eventually started crying and was telling me about how unhappy she’s been recently.



I went home for about 2 weeks whilst she was still at uni accommodation and I thought it was all fine, until last night she told me that she cut herself a little bit whilst I was gone and I’m guessing that’s when she stated she was feeling miserable with everything. I comforted her and she has never done anything like this before, she hasn’t been diagnosed with depression or anything previously as she always spoke about how good her childhood was.



She said to me that she isn’t happy in general and that makes her unhappy in the relationship with me, but she constantly kept saying it wasn’t my fault and it was her. I was just really confused as to where this came from because we was doing amazing and was always having a good time together?



She was saying stuff like she doesn’t think she’s a relationship type of person and stuff, and that she has commitment issues. I do feel like it’s my fault and all the small things I’ve done have just built up and she’s tired of dealing with it anymore. I did agree and above all I want her to be happy and if that means that she’s not in a relationship with me then and that’s what happened.



Today, we spoke a bit more about it and thought we’d give it another go after me trying to fight for her. Later on the afternoon she just felt like having another go at this relationship right now wasn’t a good idea. At this time, she was saying stuff like I just need a break and some me time etc... and I was upset but I didn’t want to be anymore selfish but at the same time she was saying that a relationship just isn’t for her right now and she did confirm she’s breaking up with me but still wants to be best friends with me.



I don’t know what to do at this point because I was heartbroken but I want her to be happy with herself above anything else. What does it mean, when she’s saying she wants a break and then breaking up with me?



Am I supposed to wait or am I expected to move on and we just be friends? I’m just genuinely upset that this has happened and it’s been painful.



Any takes?



Thanks!

She needs her own time to battle her own demons mate. Be there for her but I'd suggest purely platonic. Eliminate the on/off relationship confusion.

When her head is in a better place give it a go again if you must. But right now she seems too fragile.

Good luck.
Original post by pmc:producer
She needs her own time to battle her own demons mate. Be there for her but I'd suggest purely platonic. Eliminate the on/off relationship confusion.

When her head is in a better place give it a go again if you must. But right now she seems too fragile.

Good luck.


Quality advice right here!
Reply 4
**** mate i havn't even got a girlfriend yet ur already beatin me
Be there for her? I’d go no contact OP. She’s clearly telling you she wants to go after other guys. Commitment issues, not made for relationships and ****. Take the sign, don’t set yourself up for heartbreak and find someone else. Don’t be there for her, just break up and disappear, go on with your life.
Give her time, but I don't think you should wait for her. You'll probably end up being her emotional doormat if you do. Stay friends if it isn't too difficult, but don't try to 'fix' her. She could be feeding you a pack of lies anyway. Just move on.
Reply 7
Original post by pmc:producer
She needs her own time to battle her own demons mate. Be there for her but I'd suggest purely platonic. Eliminate the on/off relationship confusion.

When her head is in a better place give it a go again if you must. But right now she seems too fragile.

Good luck.


Thank you, I’ve slept on it and thought exactly this, and probably just would stay friends hopefully and not pursue anything romantic anymore unless she does towards me.
Sorry to hear that things have gone south. Being in a relationship can sometimes bring people up to emotional extremes, and when those extremes flip around and things start to go poorly, people can sometimes feel abnormally depressed or turn to self-harm because they don't know what else to turn to (I know I've gone through that). Unfortunately, once fighting and desperation begin, depending on the depth of the relationship, it can be hard to bring it back to its original state.

If she is continuing to struggle with these symptoms, I would suggest encouraging her to get help. Would she be open to seeing a guidance counselor or a therapist? Do her family and friends know about her issues? It's best to use discretion, but if you can help her through this time and make sure she's safe, that may be best. Hoping things improve, and don't blame yourself. You're both learning from this experience.
Thanks for sharing that OP.

The moral of the story is: don't argue over petty things.

If I was in a relationship where we were having a few arguments a month over the pettiest things I'd want to end it.

Usually petty arguments are a sign that one or two big and important things aren't right and the petty arguments are just an excuse to vent to each other.

All that stuff about her not being a relationship type of person, you can take with a pinch of salt. I bet she will soon change her tune when she meets some other guy she takes a fancy to.
This is literally what happened to me two weeks ago. Insane.
Original post by Anonymous
Hello everyone!



I’m a 19 y/o male who has been recently broken up with by my girlfriend.



Let me give some backstory:



Well we’ve been together for about 8 months, met each other at uni and we live in the same accommodation (not same flat) but during this period we would often see each other everyday and spend a lot of time together because it was what made us both happy. I would say within the last month or so, we started to have a few heated arguments over the pettiest things. Last night, we was sleeping separately (due to her finishing work late) and she messaged me saying if she could come over because she felt sad. I told her to come over and she eventually started crying and was telling me about how unhappy she’s been recently.



I went home for about 2 weeks whilst she was still at uni accommodation and I thought it was all fine, until last night she told me that she cut herself a little bit whilst I was gone and I’m guessing that’s when she stated she was feeling miserable with everything. I comforted her and she has never done anything like this before, she hasn’t been diagnosed with depression or anything previously as she always spoke about how good her childhood was.



She said to me that she isn’t happy in general and that makes her unhappy in the relationship with me, but she constantly kept saying it wasn’t my fault and it was her. I was just really confused as to where this came from because we was doing amazing and was always having a good time together?



She was saying stuff like she doesn’t think she’s a relationship type of person and stuff, and that she has commitment issues. I do feel like it’s my fault and all the small things I’ve done have just built up and she’s tired of dealing with it anymore. I did agree and above all I want her to be happy and if that means that she’s not in a relationship with me then and that’s what happened.



Today, we spoke a bit more about it and thought we’d give it another go after me trying to fight for her. Later on the afternoon she just felt like having another go at this relationship right now wasn’t a good idea. At this time, she was saying stuff like I just need a break and some me time etc... and I was upset but I didn’t want to be anymore selfish but at the same time she was saying that a relationship just isn’t for her right now and she did confirm she’s breaking up with me but still wants to be best friends with me.



I don’t know what to do at this point because I was heartbroken but I want her to be happy with herself above anything else. What does it mean, when she’s saying she wants a break and then breaking up with me?



Am I supposed to wait or am I expected to move on and we just be friends? I’m just genuinely upset that this has happened and it’s been painful.



Any takes?



Thanks!


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