Should I let my mom enter into a relationship? Watch

nicholas1989
Badges: 3
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#1
It has been 15 years since my parents separated and I did not know the reason behind that break up. After my mom’s sacrifices for my sister and I, she deserves to be happy. I know that. However, I don’t want her to just jump over the person she had just met at a foreign socials event. She’s my mom, so I am concerned for her. When I told her to be familiar with the man first before committing, she got mad at me. I am not being judgmental here, I just want to know she is safe with whoever she wants to be with. I am a man myself and I know when the guy wants a serious relationship or not. How should I explain that to her without appearing villain?
0
reply
the bear
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#2
Report 1 year ago
#2
you can suggest to your Mum that she can get a background check on her new partner:

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/wo...-of-abuse.html
0
reply
StriderHort
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#3
Report 1 year ago
#3
I don't think there's anyway to explain that to her without sounding like a muppet.

Concern for your mum is one thing, assuming you know better and can tell her whats what about men is laughable, she doesn't answer to you and by your own admission you have no idea about her previous relationship.
11
reply
Claire461
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#4
Report 1 year ago
#4
(Original post by nicholas1989)
It has been 15 years since my parents separated and I did not know the reason behind that break up. After my mom’s sacrifices for my sister and I, she deserves to be happy. I know that. However, I don’t want her to just jump over the person she had just met at a foreign socials event. She’s my mom, so I am concerned for her. When I told her to be familiar with the man first before committing, she got mad at me. I am not being judgmental here, I just want to know she is safe with whoever she wants to be with. I am a man myself and I know when the guy wants a serious relationship or not. How should I explain that to her without appearing villain?
Turn it around and look at it from the perspective of how would you feel if your mother was in your business? Your mother has a right to make her own decisions in her life just as you do. Even if it goes tits up with this guy, she won’t thank you for your input, regardless of your motives.
4
reply
Conconz
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#5
Report 1 year ago
#5
Let her? She's an adult, she doesn't need you to let her do anything.
Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
1
reply
Tiger Rag
Badges: 22
Rep:
?
#6
Report 1 year ago
#6
And how do you plan on stopping her? She's your mum. She's a grown adult. She's old enough to make her own decisions. It's not up to you to decide for her.
1
reply
HattieTheSwann
Badges: 7
Rep:
?
#7
Report 1 year ago
#7
Whilst it is evident that you care and you carry good intent, she is an adult, has probably had more relationship experiences and needs to make her own decisions, regardless of whether you think it will end well or not. When my father died seven years ago I felt alot of responsibility towards my Mother as the elder child, and when she found a boyfriend after all that time (who is great) I did have to learn to not to take on that responsibility as there is another adult around (not that my mother needs looking after by her boyfriend she is perfectly capable of doing that herself lol XD) . It's difficult to explain but I kind of had to learn to be like a child again in some respects, but I got over it and you will too. You may be suspicious about him but he is probably harmless although it's worth suggesting they make friends on Facebook or whatever so that she can see he's not dodgy but, on the contrary, a socials event is great way of meeting new people with similar interests alot of people meet like that and get married. I suppose that's how people used to meet before online dating. Please give this guy a chance though.
1
reply
CinnamonSmol
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#8
Report 1 year ago
#8
you dont have to 'let' her do anything, I get that you're looking out for her, but shes a grown woman who can think for herself, if she gets hurt then its an experience from -people tend to realise things when they do something for themselves rather than when people tell them what to do
1
reply
AndrewSCO
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#9
Report 1 year ago
#9
It doesn't sound like she's committing to much. If you said they were getting married then sure but all you said is they're starting a relationship. Doesn't sound like there's anything wrong here. They met at some event thing, they got on well and they want to date. What's the problem? If there's anything dodgy about him she'll find it out while dating him but you haven't said anything which even suggests there's something off about him.
0
reply
Simone250900
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#10
Report 1 year ago
#10
say exactly what you just said to your mum about caring and looking out and the happiness she deserves!!! perfecttttttttttttttttttt
0
reply
KanyesVest
Badges: 15
Rep:
?
#11
Report 1 year ago
#11
Keep your nose out, while it’s commendable to be concerned. She’s a grown woman and you do not have the right to “let her” do anything.
Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
1
reply
nicholas1989
Badges: 3
Rep:
?
#12
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#12
(Original post by the bear)
you can suggest to your Mum that she can get a background check on her new partner:

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/wo...-of-abuse.html
Maybe I should. Thanks!
1
reply
nicholas1989
Badges: 3
Rep:
?
#13
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#13
(Original post by Simone250900)
say exactly what you just said to your mum about caring and looking out and the happiness she deserves!!! perfecttttttttttttttttttt
Thank you; appreciated!
1
reply
nicholas1989
Badges: 3
Rep:
?
#14
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#14
(Original post by Tiger Rag)
And how do you plan on stopping her? She's your mum. She's a grown adult. She's old enough to make her own decisions. It's not up to you to decide for her.
But I am her son and it's my job to keep her safe.
0
reply
NoTearsLeftToCry
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#15
Report 1 year ago
#15
She’s a grown ass adult... What do you mean “let” her?
1
reply
Tiger Rag
Badges: 22
Rep:
?
#16
Report 1 year ago
#16
(Original post by nicholas1989)
But I am her son and it's my job to keep her safe.
Your mother is a grown woman.
0
reply
StriderHort
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#17
Report 1 year ago
#17
(Original post by nicholas1989)
But I am her son and it's my job to keep her safe.
It's her job to keep herself safe. your life is your job
0
reply
bones-mccoy
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#18
Report 1 year ago
#18
(Original post by nicholas1989)
But I am her son and it's my job to keep her safe.
No, it's not. Your mother is a grown woman with a lot more life and relationship experience than you, I'm sure she can look after herself. You need to let her live her life.
0
reply
doodle_333
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#19
Report 1 year ago
#19
Let her live. She's an adult and knows how the world works. She can do whatever she wants. Tbh if she wants to go out and bang a bunch of randoms she can do It, it's none of your business.

And tbh you have no idea about men a whole generation apart from you.
2
reply
xoxAngel_Kxox
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#20
Report 1 year ago
#20
(Original post by nicholas1989)
But I am her son and it's my job to keep her safe.
It's really not. It's good that you care for her, but you honestly have to let her make her own decisions, particularly when it's regarding relationships.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts

All the exam results help you need

1,029

people online now

225,530

students helped last year

Do you have grade requirements for your sixth form/college?

At least 5 GCSEs at grade 4 (65)
14.54%
At least 5 GCSEs at grade 5 (69)
15.44%
At least 5 GCSEs at grade 6 (84)
18.79%
Higher than 5 GCSEs at grade 6 (180)
40.27%
Pass in English and Maths GCSE (21)
4.7%
No particular grades needed (28)
6.26%

Watched Threads

View All