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What do I do? Boyfriend and university? watch

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    #1

    I am clueless as to what I should do. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years and although I sound probably naïve and like a typical teenager in love, this guy is the best I am going to get. Everything about him is perfect, he is everything I want and we are so so so happy together it is insane. The problem is university, we are going to be on opposite sides of the country (we are talking hours and hours and hours) and I don’t know how I’m going to manage without him. If we break up it’ll break my heart and I couldn’t imagine anything worse, but I’m worried about us not seeing each other too...
    Am I delusional? I just can’t imagine myself with anyone else.
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    University always!! You are not naive and if anyone tells you otherwise, don’t listen. I know it can be hard especially because of how great a relationship you say it is but as the end of the day, education is the most important thing in this situation. It has the ability to change your whole life forever. You are so young too, being tied down in a relationship will only hold you back. You also don’t want to hold him back either. Your education and career will never leave you or wake up one day and decide to leave, but a boy can & will (one of my favourite quotes). You have so much ahead of you, please don’t lose it over a relationship. If it’s meant to be, somehow it’ll be. Sending you all the love x
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
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    If you think about it, University is for 3 years, if that relationship is really that amazing you'll have a lifetime to spend with him after you get your degree
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am clueless as to what I should do. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years and although I sound probably naïve and like a typical teenager in love, this guy is the best I am going to get. Everything about him is perfect, he is everything I want and we are so so so happy together it is insane. The problem is university, we are going to be on opposite sides of the country (we are talking hours and hours and hours) and I don’t know how I’m going to manage without him. If we break up it’ll break my heart and I couldn’t imagine anything worse, but I’m worried about us not seeing each other too...
    Am I delusional? I just can’t imagine myself with anyone else.
    Prioritise the course. If it’s meant to be, you have years and years together ahead of you once you graduate!
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
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    If he really is as amazing as you say, you'll find a way to work around it. Don't ever skip your education for the benefit of a relationship (unless you've been married for years and years with kids etc I guess). I knew a couple where one person studied in St Andrews and the other was in London, and they made it work. So your situation is not unique and is definitely doable!
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    Stop whining and break up with him
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    I think you have to take advantage of the opportunities in life which are presented to you. You must have applied to university with careers aspirations in mind, and the course must appeal to you too. Whilst it might be upsetting for you to not spend a lot of time with your boyfriend, the distance can strengthen your relationship. As you grow personally in life and achieve the goals you want to, you become the best person you can be, and I am sure your boyfriend will feel the same.
    • #2
    #2

    Long distance relationship seems to be your best option if you don't want to break up. If he doesn't want that then you have to prioritise university!
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    My sister and her boyfriend managed a long distance relationship for a few years due to university, she was studying up North and he was studying down South, they now have been living together for years after graduating. It can be done.

    You have modern technology on your side now with things like Skype and Facetime, which is how my sister mainly kept in touch with her boyfriend, in a way it probably made their relationship stronger. I'd also recommend getting a 16-25 railcard, which you can get free with some student bank accounts, so you can travel and meet up with him with less expense.
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    Try long distance relationship but you’ll probably find a replacement at uni. Don’t sacrifice your degree and career over young love
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am clueless as to what I should do. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years and although I sound probably naïve and like a typical teenager in love, this guy is the best I am going to get. Everything about him is perfect, he is everything I want and we are so so so happy together it is insane. The problem is university, we are going to be on opposite sides of the country (we are talking hours and hours and hours) and I don’t know how I’m going to manage without him. If we break up it’ll break my heart and I couldn’t imagine anything worse, but I’m worried about us not seeing each other too...
    Am I delusional? I just can’t imagine myself with anyone else.
    With all due respect,

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    • #3
    #3

    First of all, he is not perfect, he seems perfect but with time you will likely come to notice many flaws and these may be enough for you to end it with him (as most relationships go). Second, university always takes priority.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am clueless as to what I should do. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years and although I sound probably naïve and like a typical teenager in love, this guy is the best I am going to get. Everything about him is perfect, he is everything I want and we are so so so happy together it is insane. The problem is university, we are going to be on opposite sides of the country (we are talking hours and hours and hours) and I don’t know how I’m going to manage without him. If we break up it’ll break my heart and I couldn’t imagine anything worse, but I’m worried about us not seeing each other too...
    Am I delusional? I just can’t imagine myself with anyone else.
    University. My gf dumped me before Uni. I was depressed for quite some time. By now she isn’t married with a guy she met at Uni, and I’m soon to be engaged.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am clueless as to what I should do. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years and although I sound probably naïve and like a typical teenager in love, this guy is the best I am going to get. Everything about him is perfect, he is everything I want and we are so so so happy together it is insane. The problem is university, we are going to be on opposite sides of the country (we are talking hours and hours and hours) and I don’t know how I’m going to manage without him. If we break up it’ll break my heart and I couldn’t imagine anything worse, but I’m worried about us not seeing each other too...
    Am I delusional? I just can’t imagine myself with anyone else.
    If this is the right person then it will last - you'll only be apart for 10 weeks or so before a holiday. These days there is skype and many ways to stay in touch. Many people's relationships have survived ...
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    At Uni, im currently 150 miles + away from my GF, and we've made it work for almost 2 years now... It possible. We just talk most days/MSG/text each other, sometimes skype and see each other every 2-4 weeks and ofc holidays when were in the same city. Sure theres problems and times i wanna actually wanna be with her, but both of us going UNI and having our own groups of friends and lives at UNI + talking to each other constantly means i dont miss her or feel like my relationship is worse than what it was.

    Currently at Uni, 2 of my mates have GF at other Unis. One in his hometown and the others not having one. Outside my close friends many have GF outside of the UNI we go to, easily more so than couples that meet and go to the same uni. so yeah its possible to go uni and keep your BF if you wanna.
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    University
    • #4
    #4

    Stay with boyfriend: Relationship that could still end
    Go to university: Get degree, relationship could last and if not will find someone else there
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    Both. I started uni a year ago in Nottingham and my boyfriend lives in London. We've made it work very well, he visits a couple of times a term and uni gives you long holidays where you can spend loads of time together. Also we video chat every night before bed which helps. Stay together and start uni and see how you both feel after a month or two, but theres no reason why it shouldn't work.
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    Prioritise the course. If the relationship is strong, it'll last despite the distance. You'll be able to see each other at holidays and maybe weekends. Can either of you drive? How much is train/plane fare back and forth? Are there any towns/cities halfway? Try the website www.whatshalfway.com to find cities, events and hotels between you and him.
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    Community Assistant
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am clueless as to what I should do. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years and although I sound probably naïve and like a typical teenager in love, this guy is the best I am going to get. Everything about him is perfect, he is everything I want and we are so so so happy together it is insane. The problem is university, we are going to be on opposite sides of the country (we are talking hours and hours and hours) and I don’t know how I’m going to manage without him. If we break up it’ll break my heart and I couldn’t imagine anything worse, but I’m worried about us not seeing each other too...
    Am I delusional? I just can’t imagine myself with anyone else.
    If you put the effort in to make it work then you will. You can video call each other every day.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
 
 
 
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