Boyfriend cheated while blackout drunk Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 9 months ago
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This weekend my boyfriend ended up going home with a girl. He does not remember leaving the bar, getting in the cab, getting out etc. All he remembers is "coming out of it" and realizing he was kissing a girl and he got up and left as soon as he realised.

He has shown so much remorse and wants to fix things, but ive never been blackout drunk so i am having a hard time coming to terms with if he knew what he was doing or not.
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cheesecakelove
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(Original post by Anonymous)
This weekend my boyfriend ended up going home with a girl. He does not remember leaving the bar, getting in the cab, getting out etc. All he remembers is "coming out of it" and realizing he was kissing a girl and he got up and left as soon as he realised.

He has shown so much remorse and wants to fix things, but ive never been blackout drunk so i am having a hard time coming to terms with if he knew what he was doing or not.
You need to decide if you can learn to trust him again. Cheating is not to be taken lightly, even if he was drunk. Have a think about where your relationship is and what the future holds. If it something that you can't get over, it might be a good idea to end things.
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DanB1991
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Blackout drunk is one of those things many people don't believe until it happens to them. Personally after a couple of slip ups I simply can't get in that state, it's not like I loose complete control, at the time you're in control, but it's like a totally irresponsible side of you takes over. I honestly can't let myself get that drunk because I don't know what will happen. It's not simply just cheating, it's also things like did I offend someone last night? Did I drive home drunk? etc, things you would never do sober.

Realistically you have to decide, should you give him a chance? If you do set ground rules and stick to them and be cruel to be kind. And this does not mean using it as emotional blackmail or in arguments overt the next 5+ years! If you ever change your mind end it! Don't play around with them and lead them on if you feel like the relationship should end.

Either way nights out of getting blackout drunk are not a good idea for anyone! Bad things will happen.
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username4094562
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(Original post by Anonymous)
This weekend my boyfriend ended up going home with a girl. He does not remember leaving the bar, getting in the cab, getting out etc. All he remembers is "coming out of it" and realizing he was kissing a girl and he got up and left as soon as he realised.

He has shown so much remorse and wants to fix things, but ive never been blackout drunk so i am having a hard time coming to terms with if he knew what he was doing or not.
Being drunk is never an excuse for cheating. Cheaters always have an excuse for their behaviour and normally saying 'I was drunk' is the most common statement you hear. If you choose to forgive him and take him back, this means you have to forget that he ever cheated on you and that this night happened. Taking him back means you have to continue to trust him and let him go out on his own to bars, essentially being in the same situation that led him to cheat on you. Realistically, will you be able to do that?

The other option is to break up with him and find someone else who has the decency to keep his **** in his trousers and not stick it into the nearest vag he finds.
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Roryroars
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That sounds really scary and he is lucky more didn't happen to him when he was like that. It sound like he learn his lesson. Now it is for you to decide if he need to be punish more because he cheat still yes. No one here can tell you that I think though.
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goggleyed
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#6
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technically he was raped...
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joey11223
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It's up to you I suppose if you believe what he is saying, clearly he is very remorseful. Of course I wonder if the gender of your partner and this girl were reversed, would some be suggesting they were spiked, be calling them a victim etc.

I'd give them another chance, after all he didn't have to admit it happened at all really, that along with the remorse shows it's something he never intended doing. The only concern is...will he get himself into that sort of situation again.
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DanB1991
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(Original post by goggleyed)
technically he was raped...
He really wasn't
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awkwardshortguy
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This reminds me of one of my favourite Skyrim quests, except my character never cheated on anyone.
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DanB1991
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(Original post by awkwardshortguy)
This reminds me of one of my favourite Skyrim quests, except my character never cheated on anyone.
Nah just sleeps with a Hagraven
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YaliaV
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(Original post by Roryroars)
That sounds really scary and he is lucky more didn't happen to him when he was like that. It sound like he learn his lesson. Now it is for you to decide if he need to be punish more because he cheat still yes. No one here can tell you that I think though.
Oh come on. He chose to get drunk and he chose to get drunk. He isn't the victim and the OP would be stupid to trust him again
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YaliaV
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(Original post by Constantine2018)
Being drunk is never an excuse for cheating. Cheaters always have an excuse for their behaviour and normally saying 'I was drunk' is the most common statement you hear. If you choose to forgive him and take him back, this means you have to forget that he ever cheated on you and that this night happened. Taking him back means you have to continue to trust him and let him go out on his own to bars, essentially being in the same situation that led him to cheat on you. Realistically, will you be able to do that?

The other option is to break up with him and find someone else who has the decency to keep his **** in his trousers and not stick it into the nearest vag he finds.
He probably exaggerated how drunk he was. If he was that drunk, he would have been on the floor and he wouldn't have been able to perform.
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experienced69
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I came into the thread expecting a spicy story but then it turned out someone kissed a girl while being wasted.

That is not cheating, that is being wasted. Try to talk him into not getting wasted is my advice.
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Roryroars
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(Original post by YaliaV)
Oh come on. He chose to get drunk and he chose to get drunk. He isn't the victim and the OP would be stupid to trust him again
Did I say he was the victim? No I didn't. I said the situation was scary and he probably learned his lesson. Yes it was stupid he decided to drink and get drunk and that is 100% his fault. The OP said he left as soon as he was able and he has been sorry about it since. It is up to her how she wants to punish him further.
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DanB1991
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(Original post by YaliaV)
He probably exaggerated how drunk he was. If he was that drunk, he would have been on the floor and he wouldn't have been able to perform.
Obviously never been blackout drunk before!!! :laugh:

Against popular belief blackout drunk simply means you've drank so much it caused drug-related amnesia! By comparison brownouts is the result of temporary drug-related amnesia, usually reversed by hearing others recollection of events.
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Waldorf67
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(Original post by goggleyed)
technically he was raped...
Lease provide the legal backing for this “technicality”
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YaliaV
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[QUOTE=Roryroars;78906404]Did I say he was the victim? No I didn't. I said the situation was scary and he probably learned his lesson. Yes it was stupid he decided to drink and get drunk and that is 100% his fault. The OP said he left as soon as he was able and he has been sorry about it since. It is up to her how she wants

You implied that he was

(Original post by DanB1991)
Obviously never been blackout drunk before!!! :laugh:

Against popular belief blackout drunk simply means you've drank so much it caused drug-related amnesia! By comparison brownouts is the result of temporary drug-related amnesia, usually reversed by hearing others recollection of events.
It's easy to claim that you were drunk and had no control over your actions. It's a manipulative pile of crap to be honest.
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DanB1991
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(Original post by YaliaV)
It's easy to claim that you were drunk and had no control over your actions. It's a manipulative pile of crap to be honest.
Ohh it doesn't stop your ability to control your actions.....

However alcohol has been proven to turn off the parts of your brain that cares.... It also turns off people ability to foresee the consequences of their actions.

Aka people know what they're doing, they know what they're doing is wrong, just their brain doesn't care nor does it process correctly the potential consequences.

It's akin to the beer googles process. Contrary to popular belief, people get more picky physically when drunk (aka they rate people's attractiveness harsher), but they just don't care.

:beer: god I've spent far too much time researching social affects of alcohol!
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experienced69
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(Original post by YaliaV)
It's easy to claim that you were drunk and had no control over your actions. It's a manipulative pile of crap to be honest.
Or it is the truth.
To be honest. Are you the one to know the difference?
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Roryroars
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[QUOTE=YaliaV;78906784]
(Original post by Roryroars)
Did I say he was the victim? No I didn't. I said the situation was scary and he probably learned his lesson. Yes it was stupid he decided to drink and get drunk and that is 100% his fault. The OP said he left as soon as he was able and he has been sorry about it since. It is up to her how she wants

You implied that he was



It's easy to claim that you were drunk and had no control over your actions. It's a manipulative pile of crap to be honest.
All I said is the situation was scary and that he probably learned a lesson. That is it. Where does it imply that he was the victim? He was still stupid to get that drunk.
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