my secondary school life is boring and i feel like i have real friends.

it's currently the beginning of the six weeks for me (i'm in year 10) and i'm sitting at home day after day on my own, watching people on snapchat and instagram go out with their respective friendship groups whilst i sit in with absolutely no concrete plans for the entirety of the summer.

it's never bothered me as much in past years, but for some reason i just feel so depressed about it this year to the point where i'd much rather be at school because at least then i'd be busy.

i have no real hobbies apart from mediocre piano proficiency, i have acquaintances and maybe one close friend but no established friendship group. they are all 'busy' when i try to organise things with them and i feel more like a tag along to their friendship group as i never get invited out with them whenever they make plans with each other unless i outwardly ask to be invited. i have never been to a real party or anything like that.

i really want to get into volunteering / extracurricular activities / something that will open up the opportunity to make new friends but i'm not sporty in the slightest and i don't even know where to begin to look

the thing is though it's not like i've withdrawn myself from friendship circles; i go to all girls grammar school so it will always be cliquey however i have tried my absolute hardest to try to be outgoing and friendly to everyone but to no avail. i feel like just giving up.

i've tried talking to my mum about it but she just thinks i'm odd for not having real friends and never going out despite me trying to explain to her how it's literally not my fault, and about the dynamics of secondary school and how i don't fit in at all anywhere and i can't just insert myself into a group of friends without seeming desperate and weird. i live very far away from my school so it is hard for me to get involved unlike my brother who can easily just go out every single night after school.

my grades etc and everything are all fine, it's just my social life (or lack of it there of) is really starting to get me down along with my mental health.

i've even considered begging my parents to send me to boarding school for sixth form even though i know realistically that will never happen and i could never deal with the guilt of being a financial burden on my parents.

is it worth getting this depressed over? i'm hoping things will change when i get into sixth form but if i stay at my current school i will still be far away from where everyone else as they all live close to the school. even though i know gcses/a levels are the main priority at the end of the day i feel like i'm wasting my teenage years.

sorry if this isn't very coherent i just need some advice lol

tl;dr I feel so dissatisfied with my life because i don’t have a proper group of friends, i never go out, i don’t have any hobbies outside of school and i just want a complete change of scenery (i.e to move to a different country with my dad for sixth form or go to boarding school) as I feel like anywhere i go i will never fit in with anyone