So funny story. I decided to see my GP today because I have think I have social anxiety and it's messing up my life. When I got there it was closed. **** me I guess. I'm not sure if to laugh or cry.
I had some issues for quite a long time and could never get myself to go and get any help because I would over think it and end up crying because I have so little faith in being able to fix my issues despite the fact that I improved a lot over the years. A long time ago I couldn't even get myself to talk in front of people (the words just wouldn't come out.) I'm still very self-conscious of the way my voice sounds and the way I talk. I have a lisp and really hate it especially when people ask me to repeat what I said. I didn't have a problem with how I speak when I was little (I never really paid much attention to things like that) it's more like something I learned through looking at people. I don't know why but I don't worry much about things until I hear that it's a thing most people pay attention to.
For example, I never cared about how many likes I got on a picture until a lesson in school where we had to fill out a form on social media and I found out that it's a thing people worry about. I also developed some odd habits. If I'm in a shop buying something and there are a few packs or it (let's say crisps) if I pick one pack, I always worry if I somehow offended the other pack because I didn't buy it. I don't really have that problem if the crisps are stalked in a row but if it's two or more rows I get that idea into my head and it just annoys me. I try not to let it get to me just like the likes thing.
I'm also very nervous around people even when I don't have to talk. Just being around people makes me very uncomfortable. I can't even do anything on my phone because I'm extremely uncomfortable when there are people near me.