Genuine love, love back?

OP

jackbourne

I think It takes time to actually fall in love with someone, so, by the time this has happened for yourself, then it will probably have happened for the partner because you have been together for a while. :biggrin:

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Good point. I was thinking more along the lines of infatuation which is love in the first stage. There are genuine infatuations I guess.

Reply 4

22KT22

15

randomgirl

Well I've only romantically loved one person, and that's my current bf. He loves me back (or at least says he does :p:

)

:dito: But then you can have unrequited love, sadly not everytime you love someone (and i do mean love not infatuation) do they love you back.

Reply 5

OP

22KT22

:dito: But then you can have unrequited love, sadly not everytime you love someone (and i do mean love not infatuation) do they love you back.

It is likely that at some stage, they would have liked you. Otherwise you wouldn't love them so much. There must have been some two way streak, no matter how minor.

Reply 6

To be honest i didn't even believe in love really until i fell for someone. He never felt the same for me so it ended pretty quick. still hurts.

Reply 7

dh00001

16

if only it was true. loving someone and them not loving back is quite common and sucks

Reply 8

quintsy

17

dh00001

if only it was true. loving someone and them not loving back is quite common and sucks

I think it's quite easy to say that for it to be "true love", both parties must feel equally strong feelings for each other etc. but in reality some of the strongest feelings come about when the other person doesn't like you back.

Reply 9

Anony mouse

10

jackbourne

I think It takes time to actually fall in love with someone, so, by the time this has happened for yourself, then it will probably have happened for the partner because you have been together for a while. :biggrin:

:

Yes that's a good point, and I wonder to what extent this is true.

So a lot of people are saying that they love someone who didn't love them back, but I think it's more of the case that they were infatuated rather than in love.

Reply 10

Ashes_to_Ashes

2

I think if you are aware someone likes you, you are more likely to like them back. However when it comes to love I think it's more complicated and not as straightfoward as that, so in answer to your question probably not, and if anything it wouldn't happen quickly.

Reply 11

Ashes_to_Ashes

2

Anony mouse

So a lot of people are saying that they love someone who didn't love them back, but I think it's more of the case that they were infatuated rather than in love.

I don't think that's necessarily true all the time but most likely they would have been infactuated.

Reply 12

Anony mouse

So a lot of people are saying that they love someone who didn't love them back, but I think it's more of the case that they were infatuated rather than in love.

I know what you are trying to say, but unfortunately it's rarely as simple as that. I don't believe in love at first sight. through strong feelings can happen pretty suddenly. I've had several several relationships in which i'm quite happy to admit i don't think i ever really felt love for my boyfriend. The only time i've felt love was someone i started seeing and at first it was clear he was very interested, then he got cold feet (classic commitment phobe) and drew back. by this time i was head over heals. it's hard because i don't like telling mutual friends the extent of how i felt, but from reading other threads on here i feel i can safely say lots of people have felt unrequited love at some point or another.

Reply 13

OP

chel

To be honest i didn't even believe in love really until i fell for someone. He never felt the same for me so it ended pretty quick. still hurts.

What was it that made you love him? It might not be love but infatuation?

Reply 14

OP

chel

The only time i've felt love was someone i started seeing and at first it was clear he was very interested, then he got cold feet (classic commitment phobe) and drew back. by this time i was head over heals. it's hard because i don't like telling mutual friends the extent of how i felt, but from reading other threads on here i feel i can safely say lots of people have felt unrequited love at some point or another.

How did you get head over heals with him? What did he do that make you this way?

Reply 15

tgt

How did you get head over heals with him? What did he do that make you this way?

No offense meant but how can anyone pick one thing that makes someone fall in love? you just do. it's rather well known 'you can't help who you fall in love with'. It wasn't something that developed over night. He's been a friend for a long time, still is. I find it a bit patronising that people keep saying that just because people's feelings are unrequited it must be infatuation rather than love.
I can't be the only person who has felt this way??

Reply 16

fatal

12

yup pretty much any guy ive had feelings for has loved me back

Reply 17

OP

chel

No offense meant but how can anyone pick one thing that makes someone fall in love? you just do. it's rather well known 'you can't help who you fall in love with'. It wasn't something that developed over night. He's been a friend for a long time, still is. I find it a bit patronising that people keep saying that just because people's feelings are unrequited it must be infatuation rather than love.
I can't be the only person who has felt this way??

Fair point. I can't help think that it was because he was good looking or something along that nature.

Reply 18

tgt

Fair point. I can't help think that it was because he was good looking or something along that nature.

He was, but he was also an amazing guy, sweet, clever, talented, he made me feel unbelievably special for the short time i was with him, i've never felt that way with anyone else, or by myself.
I think it's impossible to say categorically why anyone falls in love with someone. Other wise i guess we'd all for the same people.
I understand why people feel that you can only be in love if you're in a relationship where the feeling is returned because you would get to know each other so well, spend so much time together. but i assure you this doesn't have to be the case.
Instead of doubting peoples feelings, people should try and sympathise with them. unrequited love has to be one of the most painful emotions.

Reply 19

OP