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My favourite teacher suddenly hates me or suddenly dislikes me

I’m an 18 year old girl who has just finished her first year at college in art and design. I found out that I couldn’t stop on to do level 2 art and design this year as I have depression and too many personal issues. Well , during the year I made a positive relationship with my tutor , friendship nothing more , and I’m not expecting anything romantic or sexual as she’s married and well I’m a student and she’s a tutor. We would talk about personal issues and some pretty deep stuff and I told her about my past and she understood and she had a lot of empathy as she also went through depression she would also calm me down and let me cry in front of her without judging me or telling me stop. She helped me through a lot of stuff. I admired her a lot. She helped me with my work and she would let me stay behind after class and we would sit and talk and joke around. We joked every lesson and she always made me laugh and she found me amusing. She would also talk to me if she seen me around in the art block and smile and wave to me every time she seen me and she always made an effort to talk or communicate in some way with me every time she saw me. I liked her and I told her I was a lesbian as she was on about me having kids or a husband and she was totally cool about it and said there’s students who are bisexual. She would always compliment me on my outfits and shoes and would sometimes sit with me after college in the art block just talking to me without me starting the conversation first. I brought her some presents as I was leaving and she loved them I brought her a pen with her name on it , a crystal healing pen , some Bruno bars as that was her favourite chocolate bar and a fairy wishing jar and I even brought her a thank you card and wrote a message in it for her. On the last day when we were saying good bye she agreed to add me on Facebook so I tried adding her and inboxed her explaing who I was. And I tried to follow her on instagram but she blocked me on Instagram then changed her privacy settings so I can’t look at it on any other account and she blocked my freind request on Facebook only literally two days after saying goodbye. I thought ok maybe she had personal issues and reasons for this but she wouldn’t even answer my emails of me asking to send her the story I wrote that she didn’t get chance to read when she was busy with marking so I couldn’t publish it as it won’t let me so I asked if I could email it her but she ignored me and I apologied for adding her on Facebook and I apologised if she took it the wrong way and also i applied for a health and social course and needed her to sign and fill in some papers about me otherwise I couldn’t get on the course or get offered a place and I explained that to her and she just completely ignored me. Now I think she hates me or dislikes me and I feel like she’s pushed me away and I feel like I should have never trusted her or opened up to her and I keep getting depressed and crying as I feel so low for what she had gone and I feel depressed and crying as I feel like she hates me or dislikes me.
There could be a number of reasons. Regardless, I think her relationship with you was very very inappropriate. Maybe she feels guilty because she crossed the line on several levels.
Teachers adding students on social media / exchanging contact details is a breach of safeguarding, so your teacher isn’t allowed to do that. That’s why she hasn’t added you, although she was wrong to say that she would in the first place.

As for ignoring you: many teachers don’t check their school email addresses in holidays, and it may well be that she is on holiday with her family, so she’s ignoring all emails. This is quite common.
Even though you're no longer her student, many schools have policies in place that prevent teachers from interacting with their students like friends for a while. My own school has such a policy that lasts for three years, and means that we're not allowed to have the teachers' phone numbers and social media and vice versa. It's true that she should fill out your papers though, so that's a bit odd. That being said, teachers don't check their school accounts often, as it is a holiday for them
I get the feeling that she got told off for it or something, or decided that having that much of a relationship out of the workplace was a bit strange.

I doubt anything too sinister would have happened.
Yeah maybe. But it was strange that she had other students on her social media so it made me abit confused but I gues you have a point there.
Original post by amypeanutbutter
Yeah maybe. But it was strange that she had other students on her social media so it made me abit confused but I gues you have a point there.


As in, current or recently left students? Because if so that's a safeguarding violation
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Avatar for Justmac
Justmac
18
As a teacher I can probably shed some light on this. I have had students try to add me on social media etc in the past and because of the nature of social media and the fact that it shows a window into my personal life I do not allow it. There are also rules and procedures that do not allow this. Do not take it personally, she probably doesn't want to take risks with her job etc.
As everyone else has already said, it is probably a safeguarding issue as schools might have policies that state teachers can't add students on social media. However, this differs from school to school. At my school, students added teachers all the time and this was no problem. Your school might be more stricter.

Regardless, she should sign your form but as it is the school holidays now, she probably won't be checking her school email and may be busy spending time relaxing with her family.
Original post by amypeanutbutter
Yeah maybe. But it was strange that she had other students on her social media so it made me abit confused but I gues you have a point there.


She spent time with you alone, treated you like a friend and told you about her personal life. She knew you were a lesbian and that she might be leading you on, but she continued to treat you in the same way. If she needs to sign forms etc, then fine. I don't think she's a particularly good person though and you should move on.
Are you sure she explicitly agreed to add you on Facebook immediately after leaving? Nothing else sounds odd except this as it is really cruel to agree then totally reject and block you with no explanation.
Yeah as she said she will as soon as she goes back on it as she said she doesn’t go on it much and asked me what I would be wearing on my photo so I told her I was wearing a dress and she started joking saying i bet your wearing your mermaid costume or mourning outfit and I said no and she said ok I will add you and then said good bye and told me to have a amazing summer then yeah

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