My GF tried drugs and I feel really uncomfortable

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Wizbe
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So my girlfriend of 2 years went on holiday to Amsterdam with her mate on an innocent break. They tried the pubs, nightclubs and visited lots of museums.

Yesterday she was showing me all her photos on her phone from the holiday and she showed me one of the 'brownie' she had. She said that I wasn't meant to see that one, which I guess makes me feel worse.

I really hate drugs, never done them, never will. I was sure she was the same, she hasn't told anyone else that she did it in Amsterdam. I feel really uncomfortable about it and was really not impressed when she told me. I thought she was a sensible person and I don't know what to think.

Am I overreacting? I don't know what to do. I really can't stand drugs as I've had some friends who wanted to just try them and have ended up going off the rails completely. She said to me she'd never do it again and just wanted to try it, but that doesn't stop me feeling crappy.

Any thoughts/inputs would be helpful, thanks.
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Anonymous #1
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Nah you’re not overreacting. If she does do it again then talk to her and tell her u don’t like it but maybe it was just a one off. But I she does it again defo talk cuz I know people who have nearly dies from drugs and it’s not cool.
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Razz13
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What about alcohol?
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StriderHort
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(How are you supposed to talk to her about drugs if you know nothing about them? Its gonna be a kinda one dimensional talk isn't it? )
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username2861570
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Hmm, I kind of have a similar experience. My best advice would be to confront your gf about it. Don't be horrible to her, just confront her in a loving way and ask her why she did and say that it makes you feel uncomfortable and it would make you feel better if she didn't do it again. If she refuses to give it up, realise that we can't control how someone lives their life, so you will either have to stay with her knowing that she does it or break up with her.
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Wizbe
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She drinks alcohol, so do I. But we were both previously drug virgins. I intend to stay like that and I was convinced she was going to do the same. She did say she won't ever do it again and that when I asked her why she said she only tried it because it's legal over in Amsterdam and she wanted to try it. But that doesn't stop me feeling weird. I want to believe her that she won't do it again but the fact she showed me the picture of her 'brownie' by mistake makes me think otherwise..
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ChaoticButterfly
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(Original post by Wizbe)
She drinks alcohol, so do I.
You both already take drugs.
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Wizbe
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(Original post by ChaoticButterfly)
You both already take drugs.
It's not really the same is it though. Social drinking compared to taking something to get high. None of us get drunk when we drink, we just have the odd beer or cider on a night out.
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ChaoticButterfly
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(Original post by Wizbe)
It's not really the same is it though. Social drinking compared to taking something to get high. None of us get drunk when we drink, we just have the odd beer or cider on a night out.
How is that any better than say eating a space cake in amsterdam though?
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Johnathan94
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Meh, the drug itself is really harmless - you shouldn't be having any terribly strong feelings about her trying weed if you wouldn't mind her smoking, or even really drinking.

That said, I sort of see your point about the other stuff. You would hope that her first time trying something like that would be something she would share with you and so the fact that she tried to keep it from you is a little troubling... hiding things is still hiding things and that's bad news in a relationship.
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Wizbe
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(Original post by Johnathan94)
Meh, the drug itself is really harmless - you shouldn't be having any terribly strong feelings about her trying weed if you wouldn't mind her smoking, or even really drinking.

That said, I sort of see your point about the other stuff. You would hope that her first time trying something like that would be something she would share with you and so the fact that she tried to keep it from you is a little troubling... hiding things is still hiding things and that's bad news in a relationship.
She doesn't smoke and again, I'd feel the same way if she did start smoking. It's not about wanting to try it at the same time, I just feel really strongly against drugs and to me it's the fact she's done it fullstop.
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Simone250900
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(Original post by Wizbe)
So my girlfriend of 2 years went on holiday to Amsterdam with her mate on an innocent break. They tried the pubs, nightclubs and visited lots of museums.

Yesterday she was showing me all her photos on her phone from the holiday and she showed me one of the 'brownie' she had. She said that I wasn't meant to see that one, which I guess makes me feel worse.

I really hate drugs, never done them, never will. I was sure she was the same, she hasn't told anyone else that she did it in Amsterdam. I feel really uncomfortable about it and was really not impressed when she told me. I thought she was a sensible person and I don't know what to think.

Am I overreacting? I don't know what to do. I really can't stand drugs as I've had some friends who wanted to just try them and have ended up going off the rails completely. She said to me she'd never do it again and just wanted to try it, but that doesn't stop me feeling crappy.

Any thoughts/inputs would be helpful, thanks.
i agree if she does it again then let her know where you stand, she knew you didn like them so didnt show you..
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Wizbe
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(Original post by ChaoticButterfly)
How is that any better than say eating a space cake in amsterdam though?
Well there's a reason that these drugs aren't legal over in the UK and alcohol is. It's also that she showed it to me by mistake which makes me think she was trying to hide it from me.
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Johnathan94
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(Original post by Wizbe)
She doesn't smoke and again, I'd feel the same way if she did start smoking. It's not about wanting to try it at the same time, I just feel really strongly against drugs and to me it's the fact she's done it fullstop.
Well in that case it sounds like maybe your relationship is in trouble. Sounds to me like she's a little more free-willed and adventurous than you (not a bad thing to be more reserved on those issues, just to be clear) and either you're going to have to bring her into alignment with your way of thinking (not likely, at least not whilst keeping her happy) or vice-versa.
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_gcx
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(Original post by Wizbe)
Well there's a reason that these drugs aren't legal over in the UK and alcohol is. It's also that she showed it to me by mistake which makes me think she was trying to hide it from me.
Indeed there is, alcohol brings in that ££
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Anonymous #2
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You are overreacting. Maybe you may think cannabis is wrong because it has been illegal for us our entire lives in the UK but if alcohol was illegal you would feel the same about your girlfriend trying alcohol, as an example. There is absolutely nothing wrong with cannabis or with wanting to try new things. And it's not like your girlfriend will become "addicted" to it, so it won't be like other drug experiences your friends have had. If done responsibly, like how you are responsible with alcohol, there is nothing wrong with it. I think you need to become more open-minded (and no this isn't telling you to try drugs or anything! but weed is quite harmless and this is now also being acknowledged by places in the world as it is becoming legalised for recreation). Also, weed is natural. The only reason it appears wrong is because it has been illegal our entire lives but that doesn't mean it is wrong.
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Wizbe
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We already spoke about it briefly last night, but I still feel uncomfortable. I want to know that she won't do it again and to not hide things from me. Would I be an unreasonable person for saying that to her and bringing it up again? And if she feels differently, and is open to trying it again, would I be a bad person for ending it?

I really don't know what to do, I know her family would be distraught too if they found out she'd done it.
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StriderHort
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(Original post by Wizbe)
It's not really the same is it though. Social drinking compared to taking something to get high. None of us get drunk when we drink, we just have the odd beer or cider on a night out.
It's exactly the same.

That's kind of the deal in Amsterdam - They have a cafe culture, so yes, going out for a quick smoke or edible with your friends is the same as going out for a beer with them. UK drug policy is messed up and that's largely openly admitted now, If anything folk seem far more in the grip of prescription drugs and weird synthetic ones than a hash brownie
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
You are overreacting. Maybe you may think cannabis is wrong because it has been illegal for us our entire lives in the UK but if alcohol was illegal you would feel the same about your girlfriend trying alcohol, as an example. There is absolutely nothing wrong with cannabis or with wanting to try new things. And it's not like your girlfriend will become "addicted" to it, so it won't be like other drug experiences your friends have had. If done responsibly, like how you are responsible with alcohol, there is nothing wrong with it. I think you need to become more open-minded (and no this isn't telling you to try drugs or anything! but weed is quite harmless and this is now also being acknowledged by places in the world as it is becoming legalised for recreation). Also, weed is natural. The only reason it appears wrong is because it has been illegal our entire lives but that doesn't mean it is wrong.

Weed can actually **** up your dopamine systems, and for teenagers and young adults it can stump growth physically and mentally. And before anybody says cannabis isn’t bad and its harmless, there have been multiple cases of addiction, and I personally know a lot of people who cant go a day without consistently smoking it and are dependant on cannabis.
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ChaoticButterfly
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(Original post by Wizbe)
Well there's a reason that these drugs aren't legal over in the UK and alcohol is. It's also that she showed it to me by mistake which makes me think she was trying to hide it from me.
What are those reasons though? They are not very good ones. Only difference is alchohol is more socially acceptable in our culture. It is arguably a more dangerouse drug. Personally I would be much more concernced if my girlfriend took up smoking. Much more addictive than space cake.

There is a communication and trust issue there sure. But you are were evidently going to judge her like she injected herself with heroine if you found out so I wouldn't say it is all her fault.

If she started taking other kinds of drugs, and started making a habit of it then you could start worrying. But just eating a space cake as part of a holiday in a country famouse for liberal drug laws and drug tourism is not in itself grounds for concerns. Maybe if you were less judgmental and understanding she would feel less like she needs to hide this kind of thing from you? Which would mean if there was a drug problem she would feel more able to tell you about it? You are clearly worried about this being a surface sign of deeper drug use.
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