Somali girl needs advise/help. Watch

Mumtaz2000
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sorry for the bad grammer/spelling. i live in the Netherlands so my english sucks.

So i am in a relationship and i really love my boyfriend. I have been dating him since 2015. I am muslim and i know dating is forbidden but we love each other and we dont go that far, just holding hands, cuddling, hugging ok we kiss too but we never done anything more than that. i have been pretending to wear hijab since i started dating him but actually i take it off when i go on a date with him. i dont belief in Islam that much but i belief there is a God and that mohamed was a prophet pbuh. i do pray 5 times a day and i fast.

so the whole story starts when my bf parents found that he loves a somali muslim girl.* his parents were mad that he was dating me. his family have married only white for generations. they are christians and they totally hate muslims. lol my luck. he is 19 and they cant boss him around because he lives alone.

but here is the real problem.

a week after his parents found out:

a somali saw me kissing my bf in his car and told my sister, my sister told my other sister, my other sister told my brother and my brother yelled at me called me names and was so mad. then my parents found out and hell broke out. my mother kept saying that i am a shame. my father did not even speak to me. then out of nowhere my mother asked me what race/ethnicity he is and i said white Dutch every thing went crazy. they all started shouting saying we will go back to somalia cause i need to learn our culture.i told them that we are serious and that we will even get married if they want to. my father asked if my bf is a muslim and because i was scared i told them the truth that my bf is a* non muslim then my father slapped me and my mother hitted me with her slipper and kept throwing things on me.

i love my mother but what she did was really bad and broke my heart. she took me to my room and she made me take off my clothes, i refused but she threatened me to hit me if i dont shut up. i really never knew they were like this. she checked my body like she can know whether i lost my virginity or not. can she ? or maybe she was searching for a hickey i dont know but she said " i regret not performing fgm on you"*
and that she should have cut me so i will not become the slut i am now. what slut? i am still virgin and he is my first bf. 😢.

at least they did not take my phone away so i massaged my bf to tell him everything. then after a 2days my bf came to our house, he was so worried. he wanted to talk to my parents but they refused and they were rude to him. my sisters throw water with oil on him, who does that? my brother wanted to jump him and punch but my father stopped him. for gods sake what did my bf do to them?

my bf kept trying to speak to my father but my father never gave him a chance.

that was a month ago, now they want me to marry a somali guy who is 7 years older than me. he is my brothers friend. i am not attracted to somali guys, i like blond guys with green eyes= my bofriend. i am already in love with some one else i feel like i am in some sort of tv show. they are going too far. they keep bringing this somali dude home and he is creepy, he keeps staring at me. my mother keeps calling me to talk to him in the living room. lol his jokes sucks and he is ugly and has a big belly eww seriously do they hate me that much?. i have to stay in my room the whole day because he is in the living room.

i am 17 (my boyfriend is 19), i will become 18 in 29 november and they are planning to marry me off in 30 november like do you belief that? i think they have watched too much tv dramas.

i dont know why they did not take my phone away. i feel embarrassed by what they are doing. i mean we are living in the 21 century. my bf is worried to death. he thinks they will kill me (they will not go that far). he keeps telling me to call the police but how can i call the police on my family, i still love them.

i did not belief them when they said we will go back to somalia but they really got a ticket to Hargeisa Somaliland/Somalia. they want me to go with them after tomorrow. by the way that creepy is going with us too.


i really dont know how to feel about all this. why do they want me to go to Hargeisa? what if they are planing to cut me/fgm there? that thought is terrifying. i still did not tell my bf that they got the tickets and that they are serious, should i tell him? i though they were not serious now its quit scary. should i run away? omg.

. i have been in love with my bf for 4 years now. he loves me more than anything, he is ready to even convert to islam and marry me but my family dont want to give him a chance. i only want to marry him.

i keep thinking what if i go there and they force me to get cut and then they force me to marry that creepy and that creepy forces himself on me. now i regret not having sex with him. if i had sex with him at least i would have lost my virginity to someone i love.

thanks for reading i really needed to get it off my chest.

Edit:

Guys everything went upside down. yesterday ok its a bit unbelievable how things went. yesterday morning my brother hitted me with the belt because i am an insult to them and because i needed a lesson before the guest comes. i got all bruises in my arms and my back. no one stopped him. the idiot i was suppose to marry came with his parents to ask for my hand since his parents dont have a passport they cant go with us to somalia. i had to sit in the living room with them and they were planning my wedding in somalia. the idiots parents talked about the rumors that i go around with white guys and she said " now you understand that going around is not good right?" after the idiot parents went home. the idiot was going to sleep with us. my brother was mad and said you brought us shame he went to my fathers room the gun was there so i run to my room and called the police, at least if i die so he will get caught and rot in the prison. i opened the window and screamed as loud as i can. actually he did not get the gun but he get a belt to hit me with. they were not expecting me to call the police. my mother begged me to stop shouting and screaming. the neighbors came out. my brother dragged me to the living room. he hit me couple of times to shut me then the police came, no one opened the door so they had to break it. my family did not care that he was hitting me but they told him to stop or the police will put him in jail. he stopped when he saw the police and i told them that there is a gun in the room. they grabbed my father, brother, the idiot so they will not do anything and the female cop helped me. she took me outside and the other cops grabbed all my family to the police station. i called my bf and my friend so they will come help me. they asked me what happened and i told them everything, that they abused me, about the gun, about going to somalia, about the marriage and the idiot. i reported my father and brother for abusing me and trying to force me to marriage. i reported my mother for abusing me too and threathening me to perform fgm on me. i reported my whole family for keeping me as a hostage in my own house. also i told them that the idiot might be a danger in the future since he believes he took my hand and we have to marry. my bf and my friend came and the police gave us a ride to a place to keep the women that are in danger or needs help. all that happened yesterday. today i also spoke with the police and my sisters were released and the idiot too.

i though i will be sad but i am not. they dont deserve to be my family. i disown them. i dont want them anymore in my life.

life is funny, months ago i would have swore that my family is the best but look now it changed. i am more happy without them. all i got from them is bruises. also the somali communitie is the worse. in the future i will pretend to be something else then a somali lol. i really must be feelingless since i am watching tv, having fun and not even caring about anything that happened.

i will be in the "women house" (i dont know what its called in english), until i become 18. then i will move to live with my bf. i will get a part time job and study hard to become an engineer.

and ofcourse i will marry him. he was with me the whole day 💘.

Attachment 764518

Thanks all 💖.
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Joe312
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Your boyfriend sounds like a decent guy. Go live with him, get educated, get a job. make your own life. You can do it.
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Mumtaz2000
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(Original post by Joe312)
Your boyfriend sounds like a decent guy. Go live with him, get educated, get a job. make your own life. You can do it.
i really would love to do that but i am stuck in my parents house. they don't let me go. they will be behind me even if i run away.
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username3941996
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Call the police then. Tell them that you are being forced into marriage. Your parents might cut you off but it’s that or marrying some guy and not going to uni ever.
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Unsurewhatcanido
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Whatever you do please don’t go to Somalia! Stay in the country where people will help you... I doubt many people would care about what is happening to you in Somalia. They might even force you to stay there.Forced marriage is haram in Islam anyways. Run away and just get islamically married to your boyfriend. Then wait until you are older to get actually married.
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Joe312
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(Original post by Mumtaz2000)
i really would love to do that but i am stuck in my parents house. they don't let me go. they will be behind me even if i run away.
Call the police and tell them you are being held hostage in your own house. Say you have been threatened with FGM and forced marriage. It will be a very painful way to get to leave your parents house, but it will work.
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SweetLeilani
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I definitely agree to get the police involved. This is abuse, religion or not!
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Mumtaz2000
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(Original post by Unsurewhatcanido)
Whatever you do please don’t go to Somalia! Stay in the country where people will help you... I doubt many people would care about what is happening to you in Somalia. They might even force you to stay there.Forced marriage is haram in Islam anyways. Run away and just get islamically married to your boyfriend. Then wait until you are older to get actually married.
i know forced marriage is haram but seems like my parents dont care about that.
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Mumtaz2000
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(Original post by Joe312)
Call the police and tell them you are being held hostage in your own house. Say you have been threatened with FGM and forced marriage. It will be a very painful way to get to leave your parents house, but it will work.
i want to call the police but i am scared.
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gongi123
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As mentioned above, arranged marriage is haram which seems to be the case here. I understand that you love your family and do not wish to cause any problems for them however if you do not wish to take any action you will have to suffer for the rest of your life with that 'creepy' man and develop a family with him which you do not wish for. Islam teaches us that we should obey our parents strictly however what they are trying to do is haram, maybe you could get help from other people such as any relatives or friends who could convince your parents or could protect you, running away is a bit of an extreme option even if possible. May Allah help you in your time of need, and inshallah your problem will be solved.
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username3890778
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(Original post by Joe312)
Call the police and tell them you are being held hostage in your own house. Say you have been threatened with FGM and forced marriage. It will be a very painful way to get to leave your parents house, but it will work.
you are disgusting for telling her to lie about forced marriage and fgm
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username3941996
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(Original post by Rainfall)
you are disgusting for telling her to lie about forced marriage and fgm
They are forcing her to marry. Technically he isn’t lying m. She hasn’t got a choice and is being forced.
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Unsurewhatcanido
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(Original post by Mumtaz2000)
i know forced marriage is haram but seems like my parents dont care about that.
You really should try to run away if you can otherwise call the police! If you try to run away don’t make it obvious just take your passport and money. Act as though you are going to buy something for your trip to Somalia. FGM is no joke and you can’t live your life married to someone who you don’t love. The guy might even rape you if you don’t give him what he wants. Are you ready to live through that? Are you ready to give up your education?
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Joe312
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(Original post by Rainfall)
you are disgusting for telling her to lie about forced marriage and fgm
Didn't you read her post...? It's not a lie...
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Mumtaz2000
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(Original post by Unsurewhatcanido)
You really should try to run away if you can otherwise call the police! If you try to run away don’t make it obvious just take your passport and money. Act as though you are going to buy something for your trip to Somalia. FGM is no joke and you can’t live your life married to someone who you don’t love. The guy might even rape you if you don’t give him what he wants. Are you ready to live through that? Are you ready to give up your education?
i dont want to give up my education especially that i applied into a uni and got a scholarship and i will start in september. i dont want to go through that, no one wants it. i think the best is to deceive them and run away to my bf apartment's. if they come after me and act like a crazy i will call the police.
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Mumtaz2000
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(Original post by Rainfall)
you are disgusting for telling her to lie about forced marriage and fgm
they clearly want to force me into marriage sis.
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Unsurewhatcanido
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(Original post by Mumtaz2000)
i dont want to give up my education especially that i applied into a uni and got a scholarship and i will start in september. i dont want to go through that, no one wants it. i think the best is to deceive them and run away to my bf apartment's. if they come after me and act like a crazy i will call the police.
Yes, do that! Please, don’t throw your life away. The quicker the better. Don’t take any clothes otherwise it will seem obvious, just take your passport and money.
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Mumtaz2000
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(Original post by Unsurewhatcanido)
Yes, do that! Please, don’t throw your life away. The quicker the better. Don’t take any clothes otherwise it will seem obvious, just take your passport and money.
ok. i have plan i dont know if its a good.

plan:
-tell my bf about the plan and to pick me up
- get the papers i need for uni, passport (every thing that is too important)
-wait until they sleep to get out of the house safely. i already have stolen one of the house keys (we have 5 copies of the keys so its hard to know i stole it).
-get in my bfs car
- then to his appartment

if i get caught:
1:they properly will take away my phone but if they try to force me to go with them to the airport then i will tell the police in the airport about them.

or

2: they might shoot my bf and maybe even me since there is a gun in our house.


that is quit scary. what do you think?
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Mumtaz2000
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if anyone of you has a good idea to get me out the house please share/reply.
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Unsurewhatcanido
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(Original post by Mumtaz2000)
if anyone of you has a good idea to get me out the house please share/reply.
Since they have a gun the safest way to get out is to tell the police.
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