Seriously doubting my life choices and future...

Hi everyone, I'm fairly new to TSR and am just seeking general advice.

I feel like I'm always making the wrong decisions in life and don't have a clue how to fix them. I don't think I've made a right decision since starting my GCSEs, which was about four years ago now.

I'm potentially about to go onto University in a few months and am seriously doubting whether this is the right choice for me. I don't feel like I'm ready for it yet but feel slightly pressured by my family and friends to go this year. I feel that if I go and I don't enjoy it, I'll become more withdrawn and make a bigger mess of things. I feel that if I don't go, I'll be judged by others and have wasted my time revising a lot for A-Levels over being sociable, which has resulted in me losing a few friends.

I know I could always go next year and have a year out to decide what to do, but I don't have any ideas what to do with this time to fill the gap with. I've been told to look at apprenticeships and volunteering etc, but I want to have the experience of going to University and being able to give back to those who've helped me in the past.

Most people I know have a rough idea of what they want to do and how to get there but I don't have a definite idea of what career/job I want to do?

If anyone has any advice I'd kindly appreciate it...
P.S. Apologies for the long post, its been building up inside of me for a while and felt like I needed to get it out.

I just graduated and can tell you. Uni is not something undertaken halfarsed. Its best to have a gap year or maybe ever 2 and figure out what you want in life. Your family will likely resign theirselfes from pressuring after a while when they realise you wont budge.

I was 24 when i started my degree after failing my gcses. And doing 2 years of college to get a level 2 btec so i can do level 3. Then after 3 years i finally did a level 3 and then took 1 year break before doing uni. I clawed my way up to here off my owm back after the pressure subsided
. If i did my degree and level 3 back to back at 18 omwards i would have crumbled.

Make your own decisions. You know what deep down you want to do bit of self validation and you will be fine.

Cheers for the advice, its given me a lot to think about. It's good to hear that you've got to where you wanted to be. Just got to see what results day brings now...

I'll have a look at what kinds of things I can do with my gap year and it might be exactly what I need to build my CV and make a more well-thought out decision for next year.

If I do get my expected results, do you think it'd be wise to defer entry or withdraw my application and re-apply next year??

If you feel you can do the degree, and your more for than against, keep enrolled. but if you have too much self doubt etc, withdraw for now explain the situation and reapply after a year or 2 after you sorted out personal issues.

To get the best out of University you need to have a clearer idea of what you want to do in life.

From what you have said you are not ready yet.

I would suggest looking at apprenticeships for now to build confidence and work experience.

Go to your careers office at College and ask for information.

Also look at the apprenticeship section on this site.

This is not a second rate option to University but an option that allows you get experience of work in an area of
your interest.

Once you look at potential different apprenticeships you will find yourself drawn to jobs by interest and those
are the ones to apply for.

This will be an excellent addition to your CV and make you stand out from other's.

A degree is only valuable with work experience as you only get work skills by working.

You will only appreciate this point by experiencing full time work.

Colleges are judged by the proportion going to University.

This is why they are so anxious to get you there.

Do the best thing for you not them.

You can do an apprencticeship.

You can also do an hnc/hnd.

You can also do an online degree with the Open University in a fanstastic range of subjects such as physics, mathematics, history, law, psychology, computing, environment, geography etc.

A hnc/hnd is like a level 4/5 qualification equivalent to year 1, 2 year of uni.

i took a gap year - i had offers but i was sceptical and didnt want to rush into it. i spent the year once a week at college doing aat level 3 which carried a shed load of ucas points. and then just did voluntary work, internships the other 4 days and built up a solid CV and got into a way better uni. and turned up way more clued up more intelligent, mature, socially developed, clearer sense of purpose

I took a gap year mate and applying for internships right now. Don’t worry about filling your year if that’s holding you back, literally no one cares or asks.

Cheers, appreciate it. From this thread it seems a lot of people didn't go to University straight away and I shouldn't force myself if I don't want to. What made you decide to have a gap year, if you don't mind me asking?

Honestly I was just tired of studying. Mentally exhausted from revision and didn’t feel like going back on the grind so soon.
The break was the best thing I ever did, and made me so much more charged up when uni came round.

Did you take your gap year before or after receiving your results? I've looked at doing voluntary work to build my CV at some local charity shops. My CV is very weak as it is, so maybe having a gap year would be a reasonable suggestion. Thanks for the advice.

i rejected all the uni offers before exam period. and just started voluntary work/internships when college started. i ended up doing 7 different stuff in truth tho it was all basically unpaid or expenses. but was worth it i.e. an investment

Thanks for the advice. How come you ended up rejecting all the University offers, if you don't mind me asking? I think it's too late for me to reject mine as results day is only a few weeks away, so would it be wise to wait it out and see what happens.