I'm in love with my ex's sister

My ex and I were together for 4 years but she ended it with me on very bad terms. The last year of our relationship was hardly a relationship anyways, we probably saw each other once a month even though we lived 10 mins apart.

She broke up with 3 months ago but i've still been talking to her sister. Her sister doesn't really like her, they don't exactly hate each other, they just don't get along. My ex was very feminine and her sister is more of a tomboy cool girl.

My ex's sister and I have been talking the entirety of the 4 years too and we're basically best friends. I know that seems weird but my ex knew that. Her sister and I would go out together and it was more like a besties thing, never found her attractive to be in a relationship. Of course I thought she was pretty and cute but not hot or anything sexual.

Through out the 4 years, I did sometimes think that I ended up with the wrong sister but dismissed this in my head since it just seemed wrong. Her sister and I have been telling each other we love each other (as friends) for about 2 years now but now my feelings have escalated. I always sort of thought she was the one for me instead of my ex and now i'm 100% sure.

It was always known that her and I have the same sense of humour, like the same things, want the same things, we also talk every single day and not even once have had a boring conversation in 4 years. My ex even used to say that her sister and I are basically the same person.

Should I pursue this and tell her how I feel or is this completely wrong? I'm 21, my ex is 21 and her sister is 19.

Her sister goes for guys like me. She's had 3 relationships in which every time she's said she's dating the younger version of me and constantly used to say how her exes would do things or say things and it would remind her of me. So?

Reply 1

as125

So.....

Just smash already

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by as125

So.....

Just smash already

Real advice please. Like should I pursue it even though it may ruin her relationship with her family?

I'm fairly certain if I were to ask her out she'd say yes but then is it worth it? Her family would hate her stealing her sister's boyfriend of 4 years etc

Reply 3

random_matt

You are single, what's the problem?

Reply 4

Anonamoo12

Original post by Anonymous

Your ex ended it with you. Therefore you should be able to do what you like. It's not like you ended it with her to date her sister. The family situation will be sightly tricky because they may be confused, but it's not primarily about them. It's definitely worth a shot if you get along so well!

Yes

Original post by random_matt

You are single, what's the problem?

Original post by Anonamoo12

Guys, you need to consider the fact that her sister and I were together for 4 years, we went to prom together, college, started work together, went on holidays together. If I were to ask her out and she said yes, that would mean her sister hates her forever and her family will hate her too, plus people would find it very weird that I went from dating her sister for such a long time to her

Who gives a ****.

Can some girls give me advice. It was a mistake to post this so late and have all these guys reply with nonsense.

If you're a girl, please state it and tell me how you would feel if your sister got with your ex of 4 years or how you would feel if you were in love with your sister's ex and he loved you too, would you pursue things with him if it meant your family and some of your friends hate you?

Reply 9

random_matt

You don't need anyone's advise, all you seem to think about is hurting other people's feelings. You have answered your own dilemma, don't date her, jeez.

Reply 10

Anonamoo12

Original post by Anonymous

I am a girl....

Reply 11

i4Q

Dude it seems to me like you guys clicked so well together, perhaps you did get the wrong sister idk. It sounds like it would work out really well if you two got together however you must take into consideration the consequences of this. It may seem a no brainer to just follow your heart and go for her right now but in the long run, your ex is gonna hate you for the rest of that relationship, however long it may last. Ask yourself this question, can you live with yourself knowing that every time you see your ex you'll feel an awkward tension between each other and the fact that it sounds kinda douchy going straight for her sister right after the break up. Either ways its what you wanna do, if you don't care what your ex thinks or her parents, then by all means go for it. I just don't want you to be put in a situation where you'll regret not taking this opportunity.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

Original post by i4Q

This is what I regret. I wish I never got with my ex so that I could easily just be with her sister but even if I wanted to be with her now and didn't care about the consequences myself, she would still be affected by her family hating her and her friends finding it super weird. Kinda sad tbh

Reply 13

i4Q

Original post by Anonymous

I see, its a really difficult situation to be in. Only you can make this choice. Personally if i feel so strongly about someone like that i'd wait a bit, let the situation cool down give it a few months before you make such decisions. It will help make the situation look less like its a rebound and that you're not only going with her sister just to get back at your ex. Sure her parents won't really like it that much, the fact that you went from one of their daughter to another. If you look at it this way, if her parents were okay with you when you was with your ex, they're likely to still be okay with you if you get with her sister unless the break up was bad. Sure its gonna be awkward, but after you've waited some time I think it'll be fine. At the end of the day all parents wanna do is to see their kids happy and if your ex's sister is happy with you then i dont think her parents can argue