23 and 16 year old girl

I am 16 about to start my second year at college in september and I really like this guy who's never dated a girl before. I've liked him for over a year now and only just started dating. My friends think it's wired but my mum really likes him. What do you think I should do.

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Reply 1

cherryred90s

Original post by Anonymous

I think he’s way too old for you. When he wants to settle down and have children etc, you’ll be wanting to go to uni, and enjoy being young. Doesn’t sound like it will work out in the long term

Reply 2

Maths&physics

Original post by cherryred90s

I think he’s way too old for you. When he wants to settle down and have children etc, you’ll be wanting to go to uni, and enjoy being young. Doesn’t sound like it will work out in the long term

thats not necessarily true - people want to settle down at different ages.

Original post by Anonymous

the youngest a man should date is half his age + 7. even if we round down, youre too young for him.

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you have your mum's approval

nice now enjoy relationship and ignore your friends :P

Reply 5

cherryred90s

Original post by Maths&physics

thats not necessarily true - people want to settle down at different ages.

It’s likely to happen though. That age gap would be a problem at some point, and I’m sure that they’ll want different things and they’ll either break up, or one of them will feel forced to do something that they don’t want to do for fear of being dumped. (Probably her)

the youngest a man should date is half his age + 7. even if we round down, youre too young for him.

I think this is bs. Had they both been older (her 30 and him 37), this wouldn’t be much of an issue

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Thanks for the advice everyone it means a lot and I don't want to go uni as i want to be a chef and he supports my disison

Reply 7

Maths&physics

Original post by cherryred90s

thats not true, ive seen so many different relationships work and fail for so many reasons. and in this case, men tend to want to settle down later than women, so it helps that the man is older.

not 7 years difference but half his age + 7, so at 37, the youngest he should be dating is 25/26.

Reply 8

cherryred90s

Original post by Maths&amp

thats not true, ive seen so many different relationships work and fail for so many reasons. and in this case, men tend to want to settle down later than women, so it helps that the man is older.

Well yeah, relationships fail for many reasons, which includes a conflict of interests. A 16yr old vs a 23yr are likely to be at completely different stages in life. One could have graduated uni and just starting a career, whereas the other has just received their GCSE results. I don’t see how you could have anything in common

not 7 years difference but half his age + 7, so at 37, the youngest he should be dating is 25/26.

Who’s rule is this?! Is that something you’ve made up?

Reply 9

Maths&physics

Original post by cherryred90s

I already said hes too old for her, and only they know what they want in life. youre just talking about hypotheticals.

no, I didn't make it up.

Reply 10

cherryred90s

Original post by Maths&amp

I already said hes too old for her, and only they know what they want in life. youre just talking about hypotheticals.

no, I didn't make it up.

I’m just saying that with a gap that big at two such crucial ages, they are bound to have a conflict of interests.

Reply 11

GalGirl101

You're going to have conflicts of interests. At 16 you're waiting for your GCSE results whereas he's most likely graduated from university and working.

Reply 12

1582

Volunteer Team

Original post by cherryred90s

Who’s rule is this?! Is that something you’ve made up?

They didn't make it up. It's well known and a large number of people agree with it.

As for the OP:
The fact he's 23, never been in a relationship, and then decides the first one he wants to try a relationship with is a 16 year old is concerning. I'd personally be wary of him.

Reply 13

Maths&physics

Original post by cherryred90s

I’m just saying that with a gap that big at two such crucial ages, they are bound to have a conflict of interests.

possibly. I think hes too old anyway.

Reply 14

-Eirlys-

Debate & Current Affairs Helper

Original post by Anonymous

It is odd. I am a 23 year old woman, I would never dream of dating a teenager who will not be on the same level of me mentally or in terms of our place in our lives. Grown men who date young teenage girls usually aren't the best types of people - there's probably a reason he's never dated a girl before and can't get a woman his own age, so he is now preying on a naive young teenage girl that will always be besotted and feel lucky to have caught the attention of a grown man - this situation usually results in manipulative behaviour from the guy because he can use your naivety to his advantage. I am surprised your mother is happy about this situation, my mother would never allow me to date a grown man when I was a teen. At least your friend seems to have her head screwed on.

Reply 15

cherryred90s

Original post by sinfonietta

It may be well known and a large number of people may agree with it, but that doesn’t make it a logical rule to follow.

Reply 16

cherryred90s

Original post by Maths&amp

possibly. I think hes too old anyway.

Because it doesn’t adhere to the half his age +7 rule that you follow?

Reply 17

ANM775

Original post by GalGirl101

You're going to have conflicts of interests. At 16 you're waiting for your GCSE results whereas he's most likely graduated from university and working.

She said that she's starting second year of college in september

the girl is literally days from turning 17

Reply 18

Carolina K. v2

Personally, I would say that it's better for you to date someone around your age. However since the age gap isn't that big I think you should be alright but the two of you might have diffrent aims in life. For example he might want to have a familly but you might want to have your own job. In that situation talk it over and don't give into pressure from anyone. Just do whatever is the best for you while also considering his side of the story.

Reply 19

Roryroars

OP it sound like you mind is made up. You have moms approval it sound like so why ask for it here? Don't really know if it will work out for you or not but I wish you well. I am around your age at 15 and I can tell you I would not date guy that age because I don't think I would have anything in common. That is just me though. Good Luck.