B1401 – Enhanced Sex Education Bill 2018 Watch

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Saracen's Fez
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B1401 – Enhanced Sex Education Bill 2018, Unown Uzer, CountBrandenburg MP and Joep95 MP
Enhanced Sex Education Bill 2018

A
BILL
TO


Improve sex education provided to teenagers by providing Enhanced Sex Education


BE IT ENACTED by The Queen's most Excellent Majesty, by and with the advice and consent of the Commons in this present Parliament assembled, in accordance with the provisions of the Parliament Acts 1911 and 1949, and by the authority of the same, as follows:-

1) Definitions

(a) “Enhanced sex education” in the context of this Act refers to sex education provided to sixth-form students with functioning sexual apparatus for the purpose of teaching them how to have sex of a decent quality, to improve their skills, experience, and knowledge in having sex, and to offer them practice in having sex in preparation for a final examination.
(b) “Functioning sexual apparatus” refers to genitals that function properly in providing sexual pleasure for the owner of the genital(s) and/or genitals of the parties involved in the sexual exchange.
(c) Asexuals refer to individuals with lack of sexual attraction to others, or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity.
(d) “ARS” refers to the Attractiveness Rating System where a person is assigned an rating out of ten, based on their physical attractiveness, where 10 is most attractive and 0 is least attractive.

2) Enhanced Sex Education Course

(1) All sixth-form schools are required to provide enhanced sex education, with licensed sex educators, to all students with functioning sexual apparatus, that have reached the age of consent, before they graduate from sixth-form.
(2) All sixth-form students with functioning sexual apparatus, other than asexuals, shall be required to attend and take part in enhanced sex education.
(3) Under enhanced sex education, licensed sex educators are required to teach each student, except asexuals, how to have decent sex and make a sex partner orgasm.
(4) Licensed sex educators are required to provide at least 60 minutes in total for each student to practice having sex with them in order to hone and improve their sex skills.
(5) The Department of Education shall design a curriculum for enhanced sex education based on the provisions of this Act.
(6) Licensed sex educators are required to cover topics on the curriculum for enhanced sex education.

3) Examinations

(1) Prior to final exams before graduation from sixth-form, all students who have undergone enhanced sex education are required to complete an exam for their enhanced sex education course.
(2) All enhanced sex education students shall first be required to complete a paper exam to demonstrate their knowledge gained in enhanced sex education.
(3) All enhanced sex education students, other than asexuals, shall be required to undergo a practical exam with licensed sex examiners to demonstrate their sexual experience and skills.
(4) All enhanced sex education students shall be required to undergo an oral exam with licensed sex examiners.
(5) Licensed sex examiners will grade each student in the practical exam and oral exam based on their sexual knowledge, experience, and skills as demonstrated in the relevant exam.
(6) The paper exam shall comprise 20% of the total score, the practical exam shall comprise of 50% of the total score, and the oral exam shall comprise of 30% of the total score, for all non-asexual candidates.
(7) For asexual candidates, the paper exam and oral exam shall each comprise of 50% of the total score.
(8) In order to pass the enhanced sex education exam, a student must attain 50% or above of the total score.
(9) In order to graduate from sixth-form, a student must pass their enhanced sex education exam.
(10) Passing scores shall be assigned a grade from A* to E based on percentage. Failing scores shall be assigned a U.

4) Licensing and regulation

(1) Anyone who teaches enhanced sex education or grades a enhanced sex education examination must be licensed by the Department of Education.
(2) An independent commission shall be established to determine applicants’ sexual experience and skills, and rating based on ARS, and shall provide recommendations to the Department of Education of candidates who meet the requirements under subsection 3.
(3) In order to become a licensed sex educator or licensed enhanced sex education examiner, a person must—
(a) Have functioning sexual apparatus;
(b) Present proof of positive feedback on sex from at least 3 sexual partners in the form of a recommendation letter;
(c) Not carry any sexually transmitted diseases;
(d) Demonstrate that they are high experienced and skilled sexually to the independent commission under subsection 2; and
(e) Be rated 7/10 or above under ARS by the independent commission under subsection 2.
(4) The Department of Education shall carry out random, unannounced audits to ensure that the provisions of this Act are met.
(5) The Department of Education reserves the right to revoke the license of any licensed sex educator or licensed enhanced sex education examiner should any provision under this Act be violated by the relevant license holder, as long as the Department of Education provides at least 30 days notice prior to revocation.
(6) Licensed sex educators and licensed enhanced sex education examiners have the right to appeal any notice of revocation of license to the Department of Education or a court of law.
(7) A panel of at least ten people who are part of the independent commission under subsection 2 shall decide each applicant’s sexual experience and skills, and ARS rating.
(8) The independent commission under subsection 2 must devise criteria to guide panel members on what each score under ARS means in terms of physical attractiveness.
(9) Applicants who are rejected by the independent commission may file an appeal by paying a deposit of £50 to the independent commission to re-evaluate their ARS rating or sexual experience and skills. If the applicant is deemed to meet the requirements under subsection 3 as a result of the appeal, the deposit shall be returned.

5) Short title, commencement and extent


(1) This Act may be cited as the Enhanced Sex Education Act.
(2) This Act comes into effect 90 days after Royal Assent.
(3) This Act extends to England and Wales.

Notes:

Many young people in the UK, as demonstrated by feedback from places like TSR and the BBC, feel that sex education in the UK is insufficient and does not teach them how to have satisfying sex. This bill will teach young people how to have good sex and ensure that they are sexually skilled when they enter uni. Sex is an important life skill, so it is important to equip students with this essential life skill to help them secure better job opportunities, broaden their career choices, and help them maintain a healthy family.

By increasing the incidence of orgasms in the UK, stress levels will decrease and increase happiness in people’s lives. This, by extension, will help tackle the UK’s mental health crisis and reduce [redacted] rates. As people can better focus on their work due to being relieved of any potential sexual frustration brought about by bad sex, productivity can increase, thereby helping boost the UK economy in wake of Brexit.

Furthermore, studies have shown that sex can help strengthen one’s immune system. By increasing the attractiveness of having sex a regular activity due to the increased incidence of orgasms brought about by this bill, the demand for sex can increase to correct the externality that is the underconsumption of sex by future midlife married couples. As they build stronger immune systems and reduce the risk of health complications such as prostate cancer, the burden on the NHS is reduced.

Improving the sex lives of future married couples can also help maintain marriages. After all, bad sex is a factor in many divorces. By teaching people to have good sex at a young age, they can live fulfilling sex lives even when married, so that fewer children have to grow up with a single parent. Since some MPs believe that it is detrimental to a child to be raised by a single mother, they should support this bill to reduce the risk of that occurring.

Clearly, this bill is very beneficial, not only to young people, but the country as a whole. I therefore urge MPs to vote in favour of this bill that not only benefits themselves, but to other people as well.

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DayneD89
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I was all for this until I saw the practical exam :rofl:
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SoggyCabbages
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Written by King of the Perverts himself, UU. Shame you aren't a few years younger because you could have had a state-funded dildo instead of you using your cucumber.

Nay.
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Miriam29
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Uhhhhh I think quite an obvious Nay.
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_gcx
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So close yet so far. Nay
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LifeIsFine
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Seeing the practical exam part well and truly gave me a good laugh, nay of course.
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CoffeeAndPolitics
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This is quite funny to read but it's a nay for me. The physical examination bit gave me the giggles.
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JMR2020.
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Oh dear
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CountBrandenburg
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Aye, it fulfils the one thing I feel is missing from my secondary education and will ensure when I go out into the world, I am able to mate and propagate easily with the skills learnt from this being useful for a lifetime.

God bless UU!
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LibertarianMP
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Nay, had a good chuckle though this is the best joke bill so far
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ellacxoo
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Wait I’m confused, is this real or are you proposing it
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DayneD89
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(Original post by ellacxoo)
Wait I’m confused, is this real or are you proposing it
Hi there

This part of the forum operates as a model house of commons, so this is a bill proposed by some of our members, I can only assume as a joke (or UU really is 12 and he's hoping he can get this in time for him).

If you're interested in debating any of the bills here feel free to get stuck in, and if you want to join any of the parties tell us a little about your beliefs here and we'll try to match you to the best party for you.
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EagleKingdom
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Another yawning joke bill. Nay.
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random_matt
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People's lives must be garbage if they find this kind of crap fun.
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CountBrandenburg
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(Original post by random_matt)
People's lives must be garbage if they find this kind of crap fun.
Er does this say a lot about how sad my life is since I seconded this bill ( I say, as if spending my days politicking on different MHoCs is any better)

On another note, I think UU like many of us finds fun reading threads in the Health and Relationships... which tbh we all sorta do anyway to humour ourselves
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Bluestar511
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Lol
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Rakas21
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Amusing but if you send a joke bill to division i shall vote Nay.
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username1751857
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Didn’t laugh. Nay.
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username2337287
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Definitely a Nay from me, this bill shall, therefore, be heralded as the most comedic- Not.
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04MR17
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Another one that ought not to be going to division I hope.

You had me at ARS. Identifying asexuals is where this bill fundamentally falls down.

That would be a no from me.
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