Hi, I'm just looking for general ideas. I've been in situations where I was molested, and raped when i was younger. My boyfriend of just 7 months was joking about our lack of sex yesterday, and that he was touching me in my sleep and I didn't even stir. I'm a heavy sleeper, so I'm honestly not sure if he was joking. But I'm freaked out, and dont really want to fall asleep next to him, as I used to wake up being molested. If you are sleeping, is it consent? Is this just how guys are? My relationship experience is very limited, due to my history, so i honestly just dont know if every guy will always touch me without concern for consent, or is it just the guys that are attracted to me?
If you are asleep, you haven't consented.
Even if he hasn't and it was just a joke, you're going to find it hard to trust him again (although I personally don't find that funny).
Being asleep does not give him consent to touch you, that is not okay. I think that you need to talk to him. Tell him about your past (if you feel comfortable doing so if not that is fine of course) and ask I'm if he was joking, if not tell him that it is not okay and that you do not like it and he needs to stop right away. If he is a good boyfriend he should see that this is distressing you and then know that he is in the wrong and should not do anything like it again, but keep an eye on him.
And no not all guys are like that most should/will ask for consent that is the correct thing to do.
Hope this helps,
Last edited by Truffle55; 6 months ago
You don't have to laugh it off - even if he didn't do anything, the fact that he thinks it is a joke is disgusting and I personally wouldn't trust someone like that
If you don't want him to touch you when you're asleep then just tell him? For some couples this is accepatble but for others it isn't, so you really need to discuss it with your bf. It's a fine line. If my bf touched me whilst I was asleep I wouldn't mind, as I have told him before that I give consent to this. You need to tell yours that you don't like it for those reasons you stated, and if he's not a **** then he'll stop.
Let's not jump the gun. By touching you..what do you mean? ...as stupid as that sounds
I would also like to know this. Is it arousing for them? Why do they do it??