Why do guys only want me for sex and not as a girlfriend?

I am 23yo and I have never had a boyfriend nor had sex. I know that this is quite an unusual case for the modern dating scene, but I really did not intentionally avoid dating or sex. I just can't seem to meet the right kind of guy who is sincerely interested in me. If I actually met a nice guy who genuinely liked me, I am open to losing my virginity, but so far that has not happened.

People around me are often surprised that I never had a boyfriend, and would comment that: "that's impossible, you're so beautiful! You must be too picky."

Honestly, I do think I am somewhat attractive. I may not be the hottest girl in town but i often receive compliments for having a sweet looking face and a nice body. But that might be the problem, since I am unusually curvy for a short Asian girl and my girlfriends often tell me that my boobs are distractingly big. But because of this, I am very self conscious and will try to dress in a classy way that does not draw too much attention to my chest area. Despite that, I still keep receiving interest from men who only want me for sex and not for a proper date.

I also don't think that I'm picky, since my friends often say that I have rather low standards in terms of visual appearance in men. I also don't mind just dating a guy to know him better - I do not need the guy to be instantly boyfriend worthy. I have also been told that I am friendly and easygoing, since I like to travel solo and meet new friends regardless of gender. So I do not lack opportunities to meet new people, it is just that these men I meet are purely sexually motivated. Furthermore, when they find out my lack of dating experience and virgin status, they only seem to be more sexually curious about me. On the other hand, the more decent guy friends often just say that I'm cute but do not approach me to ask me out.

I really don't know what the problem here, someone enlighten me?

it is just that these men I meet are purely sexually motivated.

Honesty, from what you've described I think you're handling it all the correct way.... Imo. I think you're right to hold off until you have found a committed relationship.

Sady, even though you meet a lot of friends from traveling it is rather uncommon to find an actual relationship that way. Fellow travelers are usually just passing through like yourself and not looking for anything beyond the physical here and now. Yes, exceptions certainly occur but they are the exceptions.

If meeting people isn't a problem then just be yourself when you do meet a guy you might fancy. You can casually flirt by making good eye contact, smile, ask open ended questions, touch his forearm while talking etc. If he's interested he'll keep talking and try to get to know you more. But, one thing is don't make your identity as 'virgin' and 'never had a boyfriend'. I don't think those are things that need to be discussed soon after meeting. Your identity should be your career choice, your being a traveler etc. let the new people you meet know about those things. If a guy asks you out meet for coffee or something equally casual and don't discuss sexual or dating histories. Get to know each other as individuals. If the guy brings that up - which is he going to do that over coffee?? - then just say I'd rather not discuss that right now and move on to another topic. If you're meeting guys while traveling one of you will be leaving in just a few days there isn't the time to casually get to know each other but I would still set the same standard. If a guy meets you and 'wants to get to know you' then he can ask you out. Don't waste time even talking to the guys who bring up sex right away.... just quickly excuse yourself and move on.

You might want to look for some new ways of meeting guys as well. Regardless, stay true to yourself there are plenty of guys who do like girls for the human that she is and not just for sex. If you stay true to yourself you'll meet that guy. Just don't assume every guy is just wanting sex either be open minded to getting to know them as well and give them a chance. Also, a guy may actually bring up having sex (because they like sex!) especially if you've been on a date but if you just say I"m not ready for that just yet at this point (without telling everything about being a virgin and never having had a boyfriend, etc.) the good guy will totally respect that and will still want to see you. That scenario definitely happens and it turns out that kind of guy doesn't care if you choose not to have sex he wants to be with you regardless.

Good luck!

Hey OP!, i'm asian and i'm in the exact/similar position to yourself so hopefully like the above user i can give you some useful advice/tips! The first thing like the above user said is that you are not doing anything wrong, in fact your doing all the right things in my opinion. According to yourself, you have a good attractive body and instead of flaunting and showing it off, you prefer to stay humble and try and cover it as much as possible. Personally that is a trait that i look for in a girl. The problem with us guys is that (people like me), is that we are a cowardly bunch and we fear rejection even before we have talked to you and prefer to retain our self-respect and ego by not even bothering to go up to you and making conversation. By doing this, it saves a lot of effort and time and also heartbreak! The second we fear is that oh that girl is pretty/sexy she must have a boyfriend, even though we dont even know you!
Moving on to the second thing, if the men want you for sex only then they are the wrong men indeed and you should be glad you found their intentions before things progressed/ went down to another level, so dont worry if you havent found anyone willing to be in a committed relationship, its just the men around you are probably thirst guys who only want to satisfy their sexual lust! I apologise for the long reply/post and being a fellow asian, i would love to know more about your situation/experiences cause im in the same boat as you. Feel free to Personal message me (PM) me, or email/social media so we can chat more! If not i wish you the very best of luck and i hope you find someone worth your time!

And how does this manifest itself?

Dark knight, thanks for the encouraging words! It gives me some hope that I will eventually meet the right guy someday (and that they do actually exist haha). I wish you lots of luck in your search for the right one too!

I am 23yo and I have never had a boyfriend nor had sex. I know that this is quite an unusual case for the modern dating scene, but I really did not intentionally avoid dating or sex. I just can't seem to meet the right kind of guy who is sincerely interested in me. If I actually met a nice guy who genuinely liked me, I am open to losing my virginity, but so far that has not happened.

People around me are often surprised that I never had a boyfriend, and would comment that: "that's impossible, you're so beautiful! You must be too picky."

Honestly, I do think I am somewhat attractive. I may not be the hottest girl in town but i often receive compliments for having a sweet looking face and a nice body. But that might be the problem, since I am unusually curvy for a short Asian girl and my girlfriends often tell me that my boobs are distractingly big. But because of this, I am very self conscious and will try to dress in a classy way that does not draw too much attention to my chest area. Despite that, I still keep receiving interest from men who only want me for sex and not for a proper date.

I also don't think that I'm picky, since my friends often say that I have rather low standards in terms of visual appearance in men. I also don't mind just dating a guy to know him better - I do not need the guy to be instantly boyfriend worthy. I have also been told that I am friendly and easygoing, since I like to travel solo and meet new friends regardless of gender. So I do not lack opportunities to meet new people, it is just that these men I meet are purely sexually motivated. Furthermore, when they find out my lack of dating experience and virgin status, they only seem to be more sexually curious about me. On the other hand, the more decent guy friends often just say that I'm cute but do not approach me to ask me out.

I really don't know what the problem here, someone enlighten me?

I don't understand. You want to date a guy who is not sexually attracted to you? Sounds like what you're looking for is a friend.

All straight guys are interested in having sex with you if they agree to date you, some are also interested in being committed and sharing their future with you. You need to assess if they are boyfriend material or not a priori. It's impossible to know for sure beforehand, that's why so many people get hurt.

I'm sorry but this is how guys work.

I guess the other poster may be right, since i usually meet these guys when I'm traveling and they might not be looking for anything more long term.

I am 23yo and I have never had a boyfriend nor had sex. I know that this is quite an unusual case for the modern dating scene, but I really did not intentionally avoid dating or sex. I just can't seem to meet the right kind of guy who is sincerely interested in me. If I actually met a nice guy who genuinely liked me, I am open to losing my virginity, but so far that has not happened.

People around me are often surprised that I never had a boyfriend, and would comment that: "that's impossible, you're so beautiful! You must be too picky."

Honestly, I do think I am somewhat attractive. I may not be the hottest girl in town but i often receive compliments for having a sweet looking face and a nice body. But that might be the problem, since I am unusually curvy for a short Asian girl and my girlfriends often tell me that my boobs are distractingly big. But because of this, I am very self conscious and will try to dress in a classy way that does not draw too much attention to my chest area. Despite that, I still keep receiving interest from men who only want me for sex and not for a proper date.

I also don't think that I'm picky, since my friends often say that I have rather low standards in terms of visual appearance in men. I also don't mind just dating a guy to know him better - I do not need the guy to be instantly boyfriend worthy. I have also been told that I am friendly and easygoing, since I like to travel solo and meet new friends regardless of gender. So I do not lack opportunities to meet new people, it is just that these men I meet are purely sexually motivated. Furthermore, when they find out my lack of dating experience and virgin status, they only seem to be more sexually curious about me. On the other hand, the more decent guy friends often just say that I'm cute but do not approach me to ask me out.

I really don't know what the problem here, someone enlighten me most

my boobs are distractingly big

Like you, I am in my twenties. Until the last year, I had not had a boyfriend either. Some of the fellows that I met told me that they could not understand why no one pursued me before. Call me old fashioned, but I believe that the best sex is found in the context of a committed [marriage] relationship.I would encourage you to continue to spend time with friends, continue to dress in a way that is classy, and continue to hold to your values. Both myself and my fiance are glad that we did not compromise our standards. [He is 6 years older than I.]I would be glad to send you the links to some encouraging articles about being single hope that helps!

I am 23yo and I have never had a boyfriend nor had sex. I know that this is quite an unusual case for the modern dating scene, but I really did not intentionally avoid dating or sex. I just can't seem to meet the right kind of guy who is sincerely interested in me. If I actually met a nice guy who genuinely liked me, I am open to losing my virginity, but so far that has not happened.

People around me are often surprised that I never had a boyfriend, and would comment that: "that's impossible, you're so beautiful! You must be too picky."

Honestly, I do think I am somewhat attractive. I may not be the hottest girl in town but i often receive compliments for having a sweet looking face and a nice body. But that might be the problem, since I am unusually curvy for a short Asian girl and my girlfriends often tell me that my boobs are distractingly big. But because of this, I am very self conscious and will try to dress in a classy way that does not draw too much attention to my chest area. Despite that, I still keep receiving interest from men who only want me for sex and not for a proper date.

I also don't think that I'm picky, since my friends often say that I have rather low standards in terms of visual appearance in men. I also don't mind just dating a guy to know him better - I do not need the guy to be instantly boyfriend worthy. I have also been told that I am friendly and easygoing, since I like to travel solo and meet new friends regardless of gender. So I do not lack opportunities to meet new people, it is just that these men I meet are purely sexually motivated. Furthermore, when they find out my lack of dating experience and virgin status, they only seem to be more sexually curious about me. On the other hand, the more decent guy friends often just say that I'm cute but do not approach me to ask me out.

I really don't know what the problem here, someone enlighten me?

You seem like THE perfect girlfriend in my opinion, speaking as 24 year old male. PM me 😳

girl i feel you. boys are honestly a waste of time, most of them. they just do want your body and sex they probably are just horny but not willing to commit to you! and you are better than that, just remember that you are not the problem and there is nothing wrong with you. when the time is right for you, it'll happen itself!! <3