Does our second love compare to our first?

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Anonymous #1
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
When my boyfriend of nearly 2 years broke up with me, I was devastated. Even though the relationship was unhealthy and people tell me I can do a lot better I still worry, 1 and a half years later that nothing will be as good as him. As though I'll never be that in love or happy again. We were going through tough times in our lives, and the time we spent together was almost like an escape. It was intense and wild, and we thought that we'd spend the rest of our lives together.

Whenever I try to read up on advice, the Internet is innodated with this belief that you'll never get over your first love, and nothing will ever be as good as that. As someone who is only 19, and started dating him from the age of 15 until 17, the thought that "that's it" for me is quite depressing. That nothing will ever be as good as that again and I'll always compare others him.
Can anyone, from experience, say that a second, third or even nth love compares? I am starting college next month and I hope things will improve and I'll no longer feel as though I will never find someone else who will make me feel loved and happy.
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Report 3 years ago
I think your first love can be special and difficult to get over, but you will. You have different kinds of relationships in your life, and your first love is exciting because it's all new, and you've never felt like that before.

But you can absolutely still meet another partner who you love, and that you can build an amazing life with. Who knows - you might come to realise that your feelings for the new partner are even stronger!
Anonymous #2
Report 3 years ago
To be honest, there really isn't a specific love that is greater than the other. You will learn this with many more partners, and as you age. The only difference between the first love and all the others is the first true heart break and that's what kills you. And the more you experience these loves, the more you have matured and won't allow yourself to be so heartbroken. You learn to look for specific signs and red flags and find a mate eventually.

I have thought I've loved so many. Back then it hurt and I thought life could not go on. Now, much older, you see things differently. You question what love really is, the difference between mature love and immature love etc... I don't even think I've truly loved anyone. Just young, strong feelings that I thought was love.

The best thing to do is love yourself, fall in love with you, become strong for yourself and then experience dating. Dating is wonderful and exciting.

But don't worry about the past, you can't predict the future, so go live in the present. He's in the past, you're alive, go meet some wonderful souls. There's to many people out there to be sad about another. There is someone just perfect for you, but you won't find him crying over the one that wasn't right for you. Everyday you worry about this, you could miss a love that could be wonderful.

Feel better xoxo

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