Jealous of my boyfriends lifestyle?Watch this thread
My boyfriend has a very comfortable life. He goes on luxury holidays multiple times a year and gets everything he wants from his parents. I on the other hand have to work for money and am lucky to go on a budget holiday once every few years. I find myself getting very jealous of his life and it gets to the point i start to resent him for it. It isn't a nice feeling and I wish I wasn't so jealous of him but I cant seem to help it. Am I being stupid??
Everyone has different lifestyles. If he gets it all handed to him, then that's his lifestyle - you can't change that. He probably lives his life thinking it's all normal, and he's probably even proud of your hard work and determination. The fact that you envy your own boyfriend, and undermine your own success, is quite pathetic really. In fact, the jealousy seems like some sort of entitlement, because 'Oh well my boyfriend gets x y and z just given to him, whilst I have to work so hard for only x'. Don't forget, he only gets it easy because his parents have probably worked hard to get that money.
Personally, I'd rather do what you do and actually have to work for my own stuff, for some sense of accomplishment in life. But so what if he lives an easy life? If you can't stand that, leave him and find someone who better reflects your own lifestyle.
and feeling jealous isn't part of human nature?
"I work for the things I want. Someone else has already said they do the same. I'm pretty sure anyone, including you, would act the same if they were in the boyfriend's position though... Showing off is part of human nature"
and feeling jealous isn't part of human nature?
'Rubbing it in your face' probably means he tells you about the times he's going on holiday, but since it's rather frequent, you've started to 'resent' him due to the fact you only go on a 'budget holiday once every few years'. You've voluntarily felt bitterness towards him, since you keep comparing yourself to him. Hence, the worst mentality. I could compare myself to some multi-billion dollar celebrity, and how much of an 'easy' lifestyle they have relative to mine. Do I? No, because it's pointless and gets me nowhere.
Some people have easy lifestyles, get over it. Just be grateful you've acquired some skills in the workplace, whilst he's yet to get a job full stop.
Being realistic about how she feels towards her boyfriend is being 'harsh'? Ok...
I work for the things I want. Someone else has already said they do the same. I'm pretty sure anyone, including you, would act the same if they were in the boyfriend's position though... Showing off is part of human nature.
So showing off is okay, but being envious isn't?
Yes, jealousy of someone you love is a bad thing, but it doesn't make you a bad person. Double this statement and add 5 when it applies to someone who is looking for advice to overcome it, like she is.
I think I can speak from a very similar place to you, OP. I come from a pretty crappy background, and I find myself getting jealous of the things people usually take for granted, like both of their parents. Not to make it sound like a sob story, but it's not often that I make friends, or pursue romantic relations, with people that have it worse than me (though they are definitely out there). I've had to work on a lot of jealousy issues as well.
My boyfriend has a very comfortable life. He goes on luxury holidays multiple times a year and gets everything he wants from his parents.
If he is rubbing them in your face and making you feel crappy about your situation, then that goes back to what I said above - basic things he doesn't know how to do. He's gonna lose many more relationships if that's the way he acts.
Overcoming your jealousy involves accepting that there will be people in your life that are better off than you, and that's okay. It involves not allowing that fact to take away from what you have. You can be proud of the fact that everything you own, you worked for. Is it nice to be born into wealth? Absolutely. Is it something to be proud of? Not particularly. Is it an accomplishment you can claim as your own? Definitely not.
Be happy with the fact that you have a loving partner that wants to share his opportunities with you. Don't let that fact distract you of the things you've achieved in your life that, while they might not appear as glamorous, are arguably more valuable.
what you are feeling is normal considering the situation I think the issue is that maybe you're not appreciating who you are and the things that make you valuable as a person. working hard for what you want and need is something to be proud of. if you jsut had things handed to you in a plate like your boyfriend then you'd just be entitled and have a boring perfect life. Instead the difficulties and struggles you have gone through are experiences worth valuing and telling stories about. also you should talk to your boyfriend and try to help him understand your life and appreciate you more.