Tight spot: almost 17, in school and will have to move out
Within a few months, my mum and her bf are going to buy a house in either Poland or Australia to live with our grandparents. It's not even like I can move out from England (I don't have a passport and my dad won't sign the papers.)
I'm from Poland but I can barely speak polish. If I went back to Poland I would be very behind in school. I'm 16 right now, almost 17 so the timing would mess my life up a lot. I would not have a future there.
On the other hand, if I moved to Austalia then I would find it hard to live in that climate. Additionally, my grandparents don't want to live there nor does my mum. My mum's bf just keeps on pressing on it because that way their 6 months old baby, who is called Maximus, will have a better future. All of that will just mess up my life.
I overheard them talking about wanting to send me off to London to live with my aunty. I don't want that because the rent there is very high. I already have friends here. Furthermore, If I go to the sixth form of the school I went to then I will have an excellent maths teacher.
To conclude, in a few months I will end up by myself in England with no job and no house. I'm just beginning my A levels. It seems that I will have to find a way to support myself finically
Just so you know:
-My mum's bf owns the house we live in and will rent it out so I have to move out.
-They literally haven't talked to me about anything.
-I will get a job in a few months but right now I'm doing the NCS the challenge program to get myself some stuff to add to my CV. Then I have to do some roman catholic thing because my family won't let me get away without it (I'm atheist and they are making me.)
-My mum might give me her car.
I have a few questions:
-What kind of benefits are there that I could get?
-Any advice on what I could do?
-Just anything I should know about.
I'm from Poland but I can barely speak polish. If I went back to Poland I would be very behind in school. I'm 16 right now, almost 17 so the timing would mess my life up a lot. I would not have a future there.
On the other hand, if I moved to Austalia then I would find it hard to live in that climate. Additionally, my grandparents don't want to live there nor does my mum. My mum's bf just keeps on pressing on it because that way their 6 months old baby, who is called Maximus, will have a better future. All of that will just mess up my life.
I overheard them talking about wanting to send me off to London to live with my aunty. I don't want that because the rent there is very high. I already have friends here. Furthermore, If I go to the sixth form of the school I went to then I will have an excellent maths teacher.
To conclude, in a few months I will end up by myself in England with no job and no house. I'm just beginning my A levels. It seems that I will have to find a way to support myself finically
Just so you know:
-My mum's bf owns the house we live in and will rent it out so I have to move out.
-They literally haven't talked to me about anything.
-I will get a job in a few months but right now I'm doing the NCS the challenge program to get myself some stuff to add to my CV. Then I have to do some roman catholic thing because my family won't let me get away without it (I'm atheist and they are making me.)
-My mum might give me her car.
I have a few questions:
-What kind of benefits are there that I could get?
-Any advice on what I could do?
-Just anything I should know about.
Scroll to see replies
I'm screwed, aren't I?
If you don't want to leave the UK then it makes sense to live with your aunty in London. I know you said that the rent is high in London but surely you won't have to pay rent whilst living with your aunty. Also, it'll only be for 2 years if you're going to university as you'll be able to move back out of London for university
Original post by Pink fizz
If you don't want to leave the UK then it makes sense to live with your aunty in London. I know you said that the rent is high in London but surely you won't have to pay rent whilst living with your aunty. Also, it'll only be for 2 years if you're going to university as you'll be able to move back out of London for university
No, I actually will have to pay rent. If I was staying for free then this wouldn't be a big deal. I call her my aunty but really, she is just some woman I met two times that I'm not related too. Plus she is young, has her own career and family.
Original post by Carolina K.
No, I actually will have to pay rent. If I was staying for free then this wouldn't be a big deal. I call her my aunty but really, she is just some woman I met two times that I'm not related too. Plus she is young, has her own career and family.
Ah I thought you meant I proper aunty. I guess you could get a part time job and use your wages to pay your keep. You wouldn't be able to claim any benefits until you're 18 and even then I don't think you'll be entitled to any whilst you're in full time education
If you wish to be more fluent in your own language, either visit Poland more often or get a job picking fruit here in the UK 
if you hide the fact that you grew up in this country, you might be considered over all the other unemployed brits who are stereotypically considered lazy or uninterested in field work
And yes I know you already have another job lined up but it's harvest season now until October so while you wait for that one
if you hide the fact that you grew up in this country, you might be considered over all the other unemployed brits who are stereotypically considered lazy or uninterested in field workAnd yes I know you already have another job lined up but it's harvest season now until October so while you wait for that one
(edited 5 years ago)
You won't get any useful benefits... you could declare yourself homeless but you'll end up in a horrible hostel for ages and probably not be able to see your friends easily anyway. But you won't have a good quality of life and will struggle to finish your education.
If they haven't even picked a country they're not moving in a few months it will take time so don't freak out yet, things could change.
If they haven't even picked a country they're not moving in a few months it will take time so don't freak out yet, things could change.
Original post by Pink fizz
Ah I thought you meant I proper aunty. I guess you could get a part time job and use your wages to pay your keep. You wouldn't be able to claim any benefits until you're 18 and even then I don't think you'll be entitled to any whilst you're in full time education
That's a shame and really unfair. Being in full-time education and supporting myself will be hard.
What about staying with your dad....what's the situation with that.
Won't your mum be paying for rent etc. if you were to stay with the aunty. Why do you need to pay it?(Ask your mum to consider your future too, not just Maximus's)
Won't your mum be paying for rent etc. if you were to stay with the aunty. Why do you need to pay it?(Ask your mum to consider your future too, not just Maximus's)
Original post by AzureCeleste
What about staying with your dad....what's the situation with that.
Won't your mum be paying for rent etc. if you were to stay with the aunty. Why do you need to pay it?(Ask your mum to consider your future too, not just Maximus's)
Won't your mum be paying for rent etc. if you were to stay with the aunty. Why do you need to pay it?(Ask your mum to consider your future too, not just Maximus's)
Last time we talked he called me a ***** on my 12 birthday so that's not happening.
She will not be paying rent.
Honestly, even if I wanted I could move with them cuz I don't have a passport.
Not sure what the new rules are with universal credit, but when I was 16 I claimed Income support and full housing benefit until I'd finished College at 18. If you go to the council I think they just put you in a hostel but there's a lot of young person schemes about, your area might have one that helps you get into supported accommodation? Otherwise maybe your parents could help you find accommodation, once you're in you should be entitled to have most/all of your rent paid and around £50 a week to live off x
If you do land up living by yourself then it might be helpful to know that child benefit can only be paid to an adult so you'd need to find someone suitable to receive it for you - I've known schools nominate a member of staff.
Edit: Don't even think about trying to run a car. Learning to drive and insuring it would be way too expensive.
Edit: Don't even think about trying to run a car. Learning to drive and insuring it would be way too expensive.
(edited 5 years ago)
Original post by Carolina K.
Last time we talked he called me a ***** on my 12 birthday so that's not happening.
She will not be paying rent.
Honestly, even if I wanted I could move with them cuz I don't have a passport.
She will not be paying rent.
Honestly, even if I wanted I could move with them cuz I don't have a passport.
Why won't she pay rent?
She's left you stuck in a situation. You physically can't leave the country. It isn't her responsibility anymore to take care of you but she should be feeling responsible for leaving you in a situation where there is nothing you can really do. Doesn't seem very considerate of your mum(no offence or anything to her) as you can't do anything to move with them.
Is there anyway you can get them to delay the move for a couple of years?
Original post by Carolina K.
Last time we talked he called me a ***** on my 12 birthday so that's not happening.
She will not be paying rent.
Honestly, even if I wanted I could move with them cuz I don't have a passport.
She will not be paying rent.
Honestly, even if I wanted I could move with them cuz I don't have a passport.
A British citizen aged 17 can apply for an adult passport without involving a parent so your dad would not be able to stop you. I don't know what age limits apply in Poland (sorry it's not clear from your post whether you hold British or Polish citizenship).
Your mother and grandparents are being very unfair to you. Suggest they wait until you re 18 and at university before moving. It will make little difference to your half sibling.
Original post by AzureCeleste
Why won't she pay rent?
She's left you stuck in a situation. You physically can't leave the country. It isn't her responsibility anymore to take care of you but she should be feeling responsible for leaving you in a situation where there is nothing you can really do. Doesn't seem very considerate of your mum(no offence or anything to her) as you can't do anything to move with them.
Is there anyway you can get them to delay the move for a couple of years?
She's left you stuck in a situation. You physically can't leave the country. It isn't her responsibility anymore to take care of you but she should be feeling responsible for leaving you in a situation where there is nothing you can really do. Doesn't seem very considerate of your mum(no offence or anything to her) as you can't do anything to move with them.
Is there anyway you can get them to delay the move for a couple of years?
Because no. She and her bf are off to puy a house in Poland. She isn't working at the moment and when she goes back to work all her money will be going to paying off the house. My mum's bf does own the house we live in now but I will have to move out so he can rent it. The country my mum and her bf are moving to literally has no future.
I am basically unable to do anything as I'm under 18. I am about to start my A levels but **** me. I will try to manage my education while also working a job with the minimum age. They aren't into delays. They already found a house they are planning to buy. I'm literally so pissed at my mum. She keeps on telling me to do some QA level course to get around £500 per month and not to go to the sixth form I wanted to go to do my A-levels.
I'm about to go onto a little rant so sorry about that.
That ***** has literally been saying crap like "if you don't... then I will only allow you to keep 2 shirts and 2 pairs of pants" and has been talking about me getting a job and moving out since before I was even 16. She has been telling me that I have to go to university and getting a high paying job so that I can then support her when she gets older. Like no, **** her. She is ditching me in England with no friends and family because they want to buy a house.
Furthermore a few years ago she went on a trip to Poland for a few weeks and literally used up all the money I have been getting from my dad (of course it wasn't because he wanted to) that she was supposed to spend on me. Then when she got pregnant she and her bf had a falling out (not because of the baby, it was planned) so we had to move out. Their relationship isn't even stable yet she is ok with moving to a country to buy a house with him. She keeps on saying "if he kicks me out then I will just move back to England and live with you." **** no! I'm literally going to be struggling to pay the rent and have enough money to eat.
Original post by Compost
If you do land up living by yourself then it might be helpful to know that child benefit can only be paid to an adult so you'd need to find someone suitable to receive it for you - I've known schools nominate a member of staff.
Edit: Don't even think about trying to run a car. Learning to drive and insuring it would be way too expensive.
Edit: Don't even think about trying to run a car. Learning to drive and insuring it would be way too expensive.
I agree with the Edit. Honestly, I know how much my mum used to pay and I'm not going to make things harder for myself. The benefits thing will screw me even more.
Original post by LittleBluePig
Not sure what the new rules are with universal credit, but when I was 16 I claimed Income support and full housing benefit until I'd finished College at 18. If you go to the council I think they just put you in a hostel but there's a lot of young person schemes about, your area might have one that helps you get into supported accommodation? Otherwise maybe your parents could help you find accommodation, once you're in you should be entitled to have most/all of your rent paid and around £50 a week to live off x
Thanks for the information. I will definitely look into that.
Original post by Carolina K.
Because no. She and her bf are off to puy a house in Poland. She isn't working at the moment and when she goes back to work all her money will be going to paying off the house. My mum's bf does own the house we live in now but I will have to move out so he can rent it. The country my mum and her bf are moving to literally has no future.
I am basically unable to do anything as I'm under 18. I am about to start my A levels but **** me. I will try to manage my education while also working a job with the minimum age. They aren't into delays. They already found a house they are planning to buy. I'm literally so pissed at my mum. She keeps on telling me to do some QA level course to get around £500 per month and not to go to the sixth form I wanted to go to do my A-levels.
I'm about to go onto a little rant so sorry about that.
That ***** has literally been saying crap like "if you don't... then I will only allow you to keep 2 shirts and 2 pairs of pants" and has been talking about me getting a job and moving out since before I was even 16. She has been telling me that I have to go to university and getting a high paying job so that I can then support her when she gets older. Like no, **** her. She is ditching me in England with no friends and family because they want to buy a house.
Furthermore a few years ago she went on a trip to Poland for a few weeks and literally used up all the money I have been getting from my dad (of course it wasn't because he wanted to) that she was supposed to spend on me. Then when she got pregnant she and her bf had a falling out (not because of the baby, it was planned) so we had to move out. Their relationship isn't even stable yet she is ok with moving to a country to buy a house with him. She keeps on saying "if he kicks me out then I will just move back to England and live with you." **** no! I'm literally going to be struggling to pay the rent and have enough money to eat.
I am basically unable to do anything as I'm under 18. I am about to start my A levels but **** me. I will try to manage my education while also working a job with the minimum age. They aren't into delays. They already found a house they are planning to buy. I'm literally so pissed at my mum. She keeps on telling me to do some QA level course to get around £500 per month and not to go to the sixth form I wanted to go to do my A-levels.
I'm about to go onto a little rant so sorry about that.
That ***** has literally been saying crap like "if you don't... then I will only allow you to keep 2 shirts and 2 pairs of pants" and has been talking about me getting a job and moving out since before I was even 16. She has been telling me that I have to go to university and getting a high paying job so that I can then support her when she gets older. Like no, **** her. She is ditching me in England with no friends and family because they want to buy a house.
Furthermore a few years ago she went on a trip to Poland for a few weeks and literally used up all the money I have been getting from my dad (of course it wasn't because he wanted to) that she was supposed to spend on me. Then when she got pregnant she and her bf had a falling out (not because of the baby, it was planned) so we had to move out. Their relationship isn't even stable yet she is ok with moving to a country to buy a house with him. She keeps on saying "if he kicks me out then I will just move back to England and live with you." **** no! I'm literally going to be struggling to pay the rent and have enough money to eat.
Pretty crap situation to be in right now. How does she expect you to go to uni and get a high paying job after if you can't even do your A-levels, having to have a job at the same time will limit the time you can spend studying and thus affect your grades. Does she understand this?
How can she come back to England and live with you? You're going to be renting a space somewhere by the sounds of it? She can't just leech all the money you have off of her. She needs to understand you are her child to and not just the baby.
I'd take some of the advice and do some more research as to what some of the other's have suggested. I hope everything works out for you in the end.
Original post by AzureCeleste
Pretty crap situation to be in right now. How does she expect you to go to uni and get a high paying job after if you can't even do your A-levels, having to have a job at the same time will limit the time you can spend studying and thus affect your grades. Does she understand this?
How can she come back to England and live with you? You're going to be renting a space somewhere by the sounds of it? She can't just leech all the money you have off of her. She needs to understand you are her child to and not just the baby.
I'd take some of the advice and do some more research as to what some of the other's have suggested. I hope everything works out for you in the end.
How can she come back to England and live with you? You're going to be renting a space somewhere by the sounds of it? She can't just leech all the money you have off of her. She needs to understand you are her child to and not just the baby.
I'd take some of the advice and do some more research as to what some of the other's have suggested. I hope everything works out for you in the end.
Yeah. I have only known about it for like 2 weeks but I'm sure they have been planning it out for about 2 months. I was actually asking myself the same question. Having a job while also getting a good education will be hard. I don't even know if she even considered that it will affect my grades.
Yeah, I do see her as a leech. Honestly, there are so many differences between me and my brother. He was planed, I wasn't. I think she blames me because she got pregnant with my dad and had me so she had to work instead of going to college/university.
I will look into it because right now that's all I can do.
Original post by SomMC1
She's a witch. I wouldnt want to live with her just bc of this.
My mum or the aunty? The aunty is nice but really we aren't related and I only met her 3 times.
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