Tips for dating guys (and girls) for the first time?

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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 3 years ago
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I'm a 20 year old girl who's never dated anyone before. I've recently been on Tinder and HER talking to some people but never got up the courage to ask people out on a date.

I guess my main anxiety about this is that I don't find myself that attractive. I was bullied a lot as a kid and teen for being ugly and a hefty girl (that is tall and broad) and it has pretty much destroyed my self confidence. I try not to cheat and use some realistic pics of myself on profiles (ones where I'm not wearing make up, because I never do irl and ones without filters) but I have a fear of showing up and me not being what they're expecting.

There is also the sexuality thing. I am pretty sure now I'm bi as I find both men and women attractive but I tend to lean towards women more (maybe because I have more female friends and speaking with women comes more naturally?) but I am worried whether I might be a lesbian and just not know it. But then I also don't want to lead a guy on or use him to figure out my sexuality. But then I won't know if I don't try so you see the problem!

So, does anyone have any tips for this kind of situation? Unfortunately I haven't made much leeway with guys on Tinder because they're all looking for casual sex. Then again maybe its worth having a hook up just to see if I like it ?

I want to know peoples' advice for dating for the first time, either men or women? What's your advice for meeting people IRL for the first time and not being a complete mess about it?
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Anonymous #2
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Report 3 years ago
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I think if you are looking for a relationship, Tinder is probably not the best way to go - a lot of users are mainly in it for flings and casual sex.

The best thing is to be yourself. Don't change yourself to suit the person you are dating. If you are having to change the person you are, then chances are, they probably aren't the best person for you. When meeting people IRL, just relax. You are not going to get on well with everyone you meet (that is the "joy" of dating!) but eventually, you will find someone who you are suited to.
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G_Singh145
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm a 20 year old girl who's never dated anyone before. I've recently been on Tinder and HER talking to some people but never got up the courage to ask people out on a date.

I guess my main anxiety about this is that I don't find myself that attractive. I was bullied a lot as a kid and teen for being ugly and a hefty girl (that is tall and broad) and it has pretty much destroyed my self confidence. I try not to cheat and use some realistic pics of myself on profiles (ones where I'm not wearing make up, because I never do irl and ones without filters) but I have a fear of showing up and me not being what they're expecting.

There is also the sexuality thing. I am pretty sure now I'm bi as I find both men and women attractive but I tend to lean towards women more (maybe because I have more female friends and speaking with women comes more naturally?) but I am worried whether I might be a lesbian and just not know it. But then I also don't want to lead a guy on or use him to figure out my sexuality. But then I won't know if I don't try so you see the problem!

So, does anyone have any tips for this kind of situation? Unfortunately I haven't made much leeway with guys on Tinder because they're all looking for casual sex. Then again maybe its worth having a hook up just to see if I like it ?

I want to know peoples' advice for dating for the first time, either men or women? What's your advice for meeting people IRL for the first time and not being a complete mess about it?
So i’m a guy who is also 20. I haven’t really got any experience, so bare that in mind with my advice. I in school wasn’t bullied, but I had been made fun of once or twice because of my looks. People did stupid dating games when it was me, the girl would pull a face or say eee. But then I didn’t really do anything to my hair and had some weird glasses. Now I got more instyle stuff like a new hairstyle, instyle glasses and I have been told I am decent look now, but I find it hard to accept and only partially believe it. I like to think I am a bit of a funny guy, but I need to feel comfortable around someone first, which is what I feel you need to do on these dates. I wouldn’t really listen to what people think of your physical looks, because you can make up for it sometimes with clothing. Some guys love girls with curly hair, high heels or simple stuff like that. These things may give them a intial physical attraction, but it’s the personality that will get the to come back.

People on tinder normally just look for sex, so maybe trying adding in another dating site, maybe one that matches interests instead of looks.

On these dates if you meet with a shy guy try to take the lead at first, a lot of shy guys will feel like the women has a lot of power on the first date and he might just really want to impress you. So maybe let him get comfortable around you, then if he has the right personality he could take charge and you both get comfortable around each other.

If he is heavy flirting, it maybe show he just wants sex, but if it’s an acceptable amount he maybe just be interested in you.

For your pictures, I would try and make yourself look more appealing, because most people know it’s you at your best. So good camera angles and filters maybe. But if you don’t feel comfortable with that it’s ok. It’s not too much of a big deal.

As for your sexuality, try a few dates with males, to try that. Then maybe the other way if us i feel the need, sorry i’m pretty unsure on this one.
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