Have I got the wrong idea about relationships?

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username4195994
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#1
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Ok, I've had a couple of pretty casual relationships. But I found that I was a lot happier in the first one than I was in the second one. The second guy was a lot more physically attractive and we were very, um, affectionate. The first one, however, was filled with such sweet innocent things like study dates in the library and playing chess at midnight. I think a relationship should be filled with cute little things that are pretty innocent, rather than things like intercourse and whatnot. Have I got the wrong idea here? What're your thoughts?
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firemyst
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The answer to the question depends on the 'relationship' you want. Your use of the phrase "casual relationships" tells me, in a nutshell, you're only having FWB's (friends with benefits) relationships.

If you just want the 'sweet' stuff without the sex, that's a 'best friend' relationship.
The above without a lot of the 'sweet' stuff (or at least, not as often), is mostly just a 'good friend' relationship.
If you want the 'sweet' stuff with sex, and for the long haul, that's called a serious relationship.
Almost anything in between is the casual relationship.

Everyone will have their own opinion as to what each relationship above should/shouldn't have.

Have you ever considered or thought about what you would bring to a relationship?

For example, here's a good article to read about it:

http://blogs.davelozinski.com/relati...g-relationship

A lot of people ask what a relationship should have or what they actually want in one, but few, if any, ever talk about what they have to offer. :-)
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shellop
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as the above said, theres no right or wrong answer. people value different things in a relationship. whats you value more is what is right for you

for you its the sweet romantic things, for other people sex is an important part of the relationship, for some people its both things, for other people its completely different things. everyone wants different things from a relationship

now that you know what it is that you'd prefer you need to find a boyfriend who values the same thing
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Zarek
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What about a combination of the two.
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Dunnig Kruger
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As Zarek says, this is not an either or situation. You can and should have your cake and eat it when it comes to relationships.

You should share special moments with your partner, like midnight chess.
You should do sweet, unusual, fun, interesting things together to break up the daily routine of life.
He or she should be physically attractive to you.
You should have mind-blowing sex (from the age of 18).
And in longer term relationships, you can have children and take delight and satisfaction in raising them together.
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Ezzaaa
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Honestly I don’t think there is like one fixed way in which a relationship should be. It purely depends on people’s preferences; whether it’s like innocent things, romantic things, sexual things. Really it is what makes you feel most comfortable with them, like some people may move really quickly and have sex pretty early on in the relationship and make it work, and others will wait years to have sex and when they do it’s gentle and romantic. A relationship should only be what you want it to be so if you like the sweeter things, find yourself someone who wants the same thing.
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